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Forum » It is oficial. I am a bad person..ded srs
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Thread: It is oficial. I am a bad person..ded srs

post 1660978893 05-09-2022, 07:01 AM
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post 1660978943 05-09-2022, 07:03 AM
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post 1660979003 05-09-2022, 07:05 AM
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You don't sound mature enough to be in a relationship. End it, move away for work and be free and work on your temper.
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post 1660979033 05-09-2022, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
You’ll end up just living together and never marrying.

Marrying should happen after 1-2 years dating MAX and then you move in.
If that's the case then so be it, why the big deal about marriage? We haven't decided if we're going to marry - literally means nothing these days. If we did it'd be a small ceremony on a beach somewhere.
post 1660979333 05-09-2022, 07:12 AM
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Maybe find someone that doesn't make you want to throttle them.
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post 1660979703 05-09-2022, 07:19 AM
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Relationship drama just seems so silly to me. The only time it's worth trying to solve drama with a woman is if you have kids with her or are planning on it in the near future. And you should only be planning on it with a girl who is relatively sane, which means the drama wouldn't be so serious and frequent if she were. So basically just tell her to get lost. That goes for all of you guys with girl drama. Tell them to get lost. Don't be emotional or gay about it, just be matter-of-fact, "I'm not interested in dealing with your insecurity and all this drama. We're done."
post 1660979723 05-09-2022, 07:19 AM
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post 1660979743 05-09-2022, 07:20 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
This wtf

Break up because that is not the right circumstances for a relationship. Just end it and then leave as a single man and let her move on.

Also you should not live together before marriage anyway. Either commit and marry and move on or date while you live apart.

None of this is right and you should end it altogether.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
I’m against living together before marriage. If you’re srs about the relationship then date for a year or so while living apart and then get married. If you’re not srs about the relationship then end it within 1-2 years and move on.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
It’s really ****ed up to start a relationship when you’ll be gone for 6 months. Do the right thing and end it.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
No you should end it because a healthy good relationship is not possible if you leave for 6 months. It’s wrong to keep the relationship.
Definitely do the opposite of all of this.
post 1660980093 05-09-2022, 07:25 AM
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Originally Posted By GODself⏩
I know. But she accepted the rules so she gotta behave like an adult girl.

She could move w/ me. I would pay for everything... but she doesn't want it. Absolutely fine, she doesn't need to.


This being said, she can either:

1. Move with me;
2. Stay and accept the rules of the game (I will me 3 to 6 months out);
3. Fuk off.

She chose the option number 2




Well, I spent the last 3 months out, so the idea was to spend a lot of time together for 2 weeks, knowing I have to leave as soon as my vacations end.
She actually has more options than what you listed.

Most likely outcome, she "stays" with you and fuks whoever she wants while you're away. When you return, she will re-assess you in comparison to her other prospects and go from there.
post 1660980133 05-09-2022, 07:25 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
We did live together before marriage actually but I’m strongly against that now. Would never move in with some guy who doesn’t want to get married.
Foies Gras is right, I would never marry anyone if we didn't live together first. Shyt really changes once you start co-habitating. You REALLY need a glimpse into that side of a person before you commit to marriage imo.
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post 1660980223 05-09-2022, 07:26 AM
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LOL at this tough guy thinking about putting hands on a woman. You 100% wouldn't do that to another man.
post 1660980433 05-09-2022, 07:31 AM
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Break up, grow up, and work on yourself. I don't think you're a bad person but this is a train wreck and you know that. Good luck.
Train hard, train smart, have fun!

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post 1660980463 05-09-2022, 07:31 AM
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post 1660980603 05-09-2022, 07:33 AM
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Originally Posted By Jayarbie⏩
Definitely do the opposite of all of this.
My girl is a marriage therapist and says the same thing. Don't move in together w/o marriage. It's way easier to leave and say screw it if something goes wrong when you're dating and living together. When you're married, way higher chances you'd work it out. It's a super traditional outlook on marriage. Questionable in todays world for most people
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post 1660980663 05-09-2022, 07:35 AM
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Originally Posted By Briisk⏩
My girl is a marriage therapist and says the same thing. Don't move in together w/o marriage. It's way easier to leave and say screw it if something goes wrong when you're dating and living together. When you're married, way higher chances you'd work it out. It's a super traditional outlook on marriage. Questionable in todays world for most people
I don't think anyone is saying move in as a replacement for marriage, but as a stepping stone toward marriage.
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post 1660980743 05-09-2022, 07:38 AM
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She will be getting cock while you're away boyo. That's just the reality of the situation SRS. Stay safe
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post 1660981053 05-09-2022, 07:44 AM
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Doesn't sound like much a big deal, just a fight. You'll both get over it. However if your job involves you going away for 6 months at a time and she can't deal with it now then its not going to get any easier in the future, something to consider.
post 1660981483 05-09-2022, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted By mesobuild⏩
I'd try to connect with your spiritual life, exercising or whatever, and then professional life, then see how she or whoever fits in this.


Listening to what she says first is the wrong idea.
Not what I am doing.

Im connected with my spirtitual and professional life first (that why I left - to work outside - in the first place).
Originally Posted By Redundanteater⏩
She actually has more options than what you listed.

Most likely outcome, she "stays" with you and fuks whoever she wants while you're away. When you return, she will re-assess you in comparison to her other prospects and go from there.
Yes, thats also a possibility.

The thing is, she knows he can't get better than me (extremely unlikely).
post 1660981613 05-09-2022, 07:55 AM
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#49
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
No you should end it because a healthy good relationship is not possible if you leave for 6 months. It’s wrong to keep the relationship.
That screams lack of personal responsability.

How the fuk would you expect other people to break a relatioship because it is not working for you?
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
You’ll end up just living together and never marrying.

Marrying should happen after 1-2 years dating MAX and then you move in.
Isn't it every man's dream?

Getting every advantage of a marriage without getting married?


And everyone can pretend to be nice for an year. Thats probably why your marriage went south.
Originally Posted By peter2601⏩
If that's the case then so be it, why the big deal about marriage? We haven't decided if we're going to marry - literally means nothing these days. If we did it'd be a small ceremony on a beach somewhere.
This.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Marriage is a traditional conservative commitment that people should strive for before they have kids. Keeping everything loosey goosey without formal commitment is meaningless.
It is useless if you are expecting to get benefits from it. Otherwise why would it matter?
post 1660981713 05-09-2022, 07:57 AM
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#50
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Originally Posted By GODself⏩
That screams lack of personal responsability.

How the fuk would you expect other people to break a relatioship because it is not working for you?
Why would Iwantto be with someone who I know is going to create a difficult future for me? Especially when I'm unhinged enough to hit them over other escalating issues. You knew this was a bad idea and continued anyway until you ended up in a crisis and creating this thread.
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post 1660981783 05-09-2022, 07:58 AM
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post 1660981983 05-09-2022, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted By MikeLowrrrey⏩
LOL at this tough guy thinking about putting hands on a woman. You 100% wouldn't do that to another man.
Little man, when you act by instinct, you are not "thinking". So I didn't think about putting hands on a woman. In fact... I never did.


Ive done it multiple times with man. So whats your point?
Originally Posted By Briisk⏩
My girl is a marriage therapist and says the same thing. Don't move in together w/o marriage. It's way easier to leave and say screw it if something goes wrong when you're dating and living together. When you're married, way higher chances you'd work it out. It's a super traditional outlook on marriage. Questionable in todays world for most people
I like it to make it easier for her to leave. Is a great test.

Similar to the "just ring the bell" thing in Navy Seals training. nomsayin?


If you "ring the bell" you are not good enough to be in a relationship.
Originally Posted By DesiredUser****⏩
She will be getting cock while you're away boyo. That's just the reality of the situation SRS. Stay safe
It wouldn't hurt me. ded srs.

If she does it, as far as I know, I will feel I dodged a bullet. Better sooner than later.
Originally Posted By redraider86⏩
Why would Iwantto be with someone who I know is going to create a difficult future for me? Especially when I'm unhinged enough to hit them over other escalating issues. You knew this was a bad idea and continued anyway until you ended up in a crisis and creating this thread.
I wouldn't call it a crisis.

Look, if you accept your boyfriend/husband gonna be away for 6 months, you gotta respect your choice.

If she tells me: "look, I don't think it is going to work because you spend a lot of time out of the country. I have problems with it because X and Y... I think we should end our relatioship". I would respect that.

But it has to be her decision because I am (was... till this morning - now I have my doubts) willing to make this work. It will not be forever.

You are all telling me to treat her like a little kid. "Look baby, I know you want me make this work, BUT, i don't feel it is fair t your, despite the fact you accepted it in the first place. You are unable to make the best decision for yourself, so I am going to make it for you. Its over!"
post 1660982153 05-09-2022, 08:05 AM
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#53
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Originally Posted By GODself⏩
The house is mine... it gonna be weird to get home now.

I refuse to sleep on the couch (wtf... lol) and I refuse to sleep on the same bed if she acts pissed off.

Im to proud to approach her first in order to talk about it.




Gonna be good...
Seems like you're looking forward to the confrontation so you can act unaffected and irritate her more.

I can tell by your replies that you're putting conscious effort into being nonchalant. Your gf probably smells the bs and gets even more upset when you very likely gaslight her. The fact that your first urge was violence over a misunderstood event that caused an emotional reaction.

You had the urge to get physical but she's the only one with the problem? Lol you both sound like toxic ****aroonies.

"She can leave if she wants"

Nah she's going to let you go and get her back blown out real good while you're away. Everyone wins I guess.


For a guy who acts like he knows a lot about women, you sure do a shyt job a communicating with them. In fact you communicate like one yourself.

EDIT: redraider already on the case I see
post 1660982563 05-09-2022, 08:13 AM
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
Seems like you're looking forward to the confrontation so you can act unaffected and irritate her more.

I can tell by your replies that you're putting conscious effort into being nonchalant. Your gf probably smells the bs and gets even more upset when you very likely gaslight her. The fact that your first urge was violence over a misunderstood event that caused an emotional reaction.

You had the urge to get physical but she's the only one with the problem? Lol you both sound like toxic ****aroonies.

"She can leave if she wants"

Nah she's going to let you go and get her back blown out real good while you're away. Everyone wins I guess.


For a guy who acts like he knows a lot about women, you sure do a shyt job a communicating with them. In fact you communicate like one yourself.

EDIT: redraider already on the case I see
How am I doing it if we didn't argue till yesterday? Weird.

And how am I trying to irritate her more if I'm tryna get my **** together (in terms of knowing what I'm going to do next) before I get home and let her start another bull****?

I'm not the one being emotional here.
post 1660982653 05-09-2022, 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
Seems like you're looking forward to the confrontation so you can act unaffected and irritate her more.

I can tell by your replies that you're putting conscious effort into being nonchalant. Your gf probably smells the bs and gets even more upset when you very likely gaslight her. The fact that your first urge was violence over a misunderstood event that caused an emotional reaction.

You had the urge to get physical but she's the only one with the problem? Lol you both sound like toxic ****aroonies.

"She can leave if she wants"

Nah she's going to let you go and get her back blown out real good while you're away. Everyone wins I guess.


For a guy who acts like he knows a lot about women, you sure do a shyt job a communicating with them. In fact you communicate like one yourself.

EDIT: redraider already on the case I see
I want you to know I went full proud mama bear when I saw this postWe're on the same wavelength, as usual.
Originally Posted By GODself⏩
How am I doing it if we didn't argue till yesterday? Weird.

And how am I trying to irritate her more if I'm tryna get my **** together (in terms of knowing what I'm going to do next) before I get home and let her start another bull****?

I'm not the one being emotional here.
Read your OP again and tell us you're not emotional. Emotions are fine, they are normal, but your behavior here is not, and it's telling that you're okay calling yourself a bad person but not emotional.
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post 1660982683 05-09-2022, 08:15 AM
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#56
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Originally Posted By GODself⏩
^^Forget the grammar...I wrote is really fast.
With the leaving -- is this normal? How long has she been aware of this? If you sprung it on her, yeah expect this. If not, then she's being a twat.

How long have you known? Why the fuk move in with someone when you're about to leave for 6m?

All this nagging and neediness on her end -- this is just the tip of the iceberg there. It's only going to get more and more the longer this relationship goes and she strikes me hard as the type to "get offended" by you doing something normal and going out and banging other guys "in retaliation" or somehow blaming you for her being lonely or abandoning her or some chit.
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post 1660982723 05-09-2022, 08:17 AM
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#57
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Originally Posted By JUSA⏩
With the leaving -- is this normal? How long has she been aware of this? If you sprung it on her, yeah expect this. If not, then she's being a twat.

All this nagging and neediness on her end -- this is just the tip of the iceberg there. It's only going to get more and more the longer this relationship goes and she strikes me hard as the type to "get offended" by you doing something normal and going out and banging other guys "in retaliation" or somehow blaming you for her being lonely or abandoning her or some chit.
We have been together for 8 months. Ive spent the last 3 months away. She was well aware and we had a conversation before I go. She was fine with it.

The first 5 months were great. The 3 months I was away were great also (despite the fact we were no together). The last couple weeks were good enough but suddenly she went mad.
post 1660982753 05-09-2022, 08:17 AM
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#58
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Originally Posted By Briisk⏩
My girl is a marriage therapist and says the same thing. Don't move in together w/o marriage. It's way easier to leave and say screw it if something goes wrong when you're dating and living together. When you're married, way higher chances you'd work it out. It's a super traditional outlook on marriage. Questionable in todays world for most people
If marriage therapists were worth even two chits divorce rates wouldn't be so high.
post 1660982793 05-09-2022, 08:19 AM
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#59
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Originally Posted By Underwrought⏩
If marriage therapists were worth even two chits divorce rates wouldn't be so high.
Loool

You have a point.
post 1660982953 05-09-2022, 08:21 AM
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#60
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Originally Posted By redraider86⏩
I want you to know I went full proud mama bear when I saw this postWe're on the same wavelength, as usual.


Read your OP again and tell us you're not emotional. Emotions are fine, they are normal, but your behavior here is not, and it's telling that you're okay calling yourself a bad person but not emotional.
Well, by bad person I mean a person with bad/animal insticts. I'm not emotional. If I were, I would say.

I can control myself really well until you cross a line (which is really hard to be crossed). The fact that I am rational (and not emotional) is what allows that line to be hard to be crossed.

If I were not extremely rational, I would have hit her.

Even rational ppl have insticts.




In other words:
By "bad person" I mean ... my interior is bad. My rationality filters it, preventing it from being real actions.
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