that's not what i'm talking about and you know it. you can't claim it because you're not self made. i am.

I'm in a position in life right now where I've completely made a drastic change. For me though it is spiritually. A younger self I would scoff at the man I am today because I thought religion was absurd. In some ways it is (the modern day versions and hypocrisy), but me finding faith on my own path, in my own way, has opened me to the real fruits and beauty in life. Wanting to marry, have children, give back, and live a life in this world but not of it. I have seen the results of living a secular life and it leads nowhere. Hedonism is a dead end.

At 31 I believe I am truly on the path with purpose, and now it's just a matter of staying on this path and living life as it comes, while also have goals along the way.

The world has seemingly opened up to me a weird way.

One reason people become conservative later in life. Once self interests are satisfied, the meaning of life changes. There is time and funds for charitable acts, time devoted to family and friends…people literally do more good once they have themselves in order, in general. Serialism is far worse through government interference than it is to let people do their own devices and work it out. Basically, people, as a whole, only self sacrifice once they have fulfilled their own wants and needs.

This is literally the fundamental principle of liberty and why individuals need to pursue their desires unhindered (taxation, cultural coercion etc).

Do you think happiness looks different on different people?

I've never jumped up and down with excitement before and I wonder what that feels like.

These days I fight complacency a lot. Some days I get excited about setting a goal / getting closer to that goal. Other days I second guess the whole point of setting that goal and am unsure what it was that I hoped to even get out of it.

I use to think OK hit that first X number and I'll be happy with myself but when I did hit that number it was very underwhelming so then I'd set a higher more impressive (to me) goal and when that is eventually achieved it's still not more exciting than the last one. Example of how my weird brain works. I was excited about finding the fun car I wanted and it was fun searching but when I flew down there to drive it home I was already thinking about the next fun car I was going to replace this one with a few hours in. Maybe it's just the chase I enjoy. Not sure yet.

I spend a decent amount of time being a lot more active in the rescues I volunteer for and I find it almost therapeutic because pays me by rewarding me with serotonin / dopamine. I don't know if my definition of happiness looks or feels the same as other people but I almost feel this nagging guilt for being content and that I should be wanting / doing more. It's such a curse.

did not read beyond thread title

but Im absolutely certain that at some point in these three pages or the next three, op will be telling us what a big deal he is.

id further bet that he wont mention it was all or mostly daddy money.

Wise words OP. I look up to you srs.

I do not, however, look up to SS or monster0ultra. Straight retards.

This post is uncharacteristic for the misc.

I'm in a different place in my life to most of the misc.

I had what most of the misc consider as success: highly sucessfuly career,lotsof money, beautiful wife etc and my wife decided she wanted a baby.

I was always ambivalent regarding having kids. I wasn't against the idea, but I didn't have that yearning for them that a lot of people have.

I got her pregnant and I bought her the "dream" house (23k sqft, 40 acres inc a 3 acre lake, stables, pool etc) because it's what she wanted, but to me it was anicehouse, but still just a house.

Then our daughter was born and my world changed. I no longer had a wife and a house, I had a family and ahome.

I wanted what I had.

Since then I have made a number of changes to free up time, as I would rather sit by the lake with her and feed the daks (she just turned one and can't say ducks properly yet) than sit in meetings.

I honestly expected nothing different from you. And yes you are right, some of the posts were perceived and acknowledge of how I come across as a big deal.
I have no idea where you derive the daddy money insinuation from since I have stated multiple times that my family were refugees from a war.

And yet...

You drive a hair dresser's car - your opinion is invalid on whether someone is a big deal or not.

Someone quote me so he sees my post even though he has me on ignore.

Agreed brother. My current focus has shifted since my son was born. Before, it was grinding it out and making as much $$$ as I can to ensure my family is comfortable. That came from a place of insecurity as my parents struggled and fought over money (and everything else) my entire life before they were divorced. Very toxic and chaotic household to grow up in. My dad is 63 with barely any retirement and I literally paid off all his CC debt (about $25k) when he almost died of Covid last year. My mom is a teacher who makes hardly anything. My focus was to never be in their position and help them out of the mess they made for themselves.

Since my son was born, my focus has completely shifted to raising him the way I wish I was raised, giving him a healthy environment as he grows, surrounding ourselves with a community of good people, and spending time together. Don’t get me wrong, I still work very hard and make great $$$ (at least for me), but it’s no longer my #1 focus. Being a high value male isn’t about making money so one can indulge in selfish debauchery. It’s about creating a legacy.

I believe we are on similar paths bro. In all honestly, the birth of my boys didnt immediately hit me the way that they do now. I think it started to really hit me when they could learn, absorb, analyze circumstances and things. Now I am all in on cultivating that and seeing where it takes them. Congrats to you bro.

you dont come across as a big deal. At all. You want to, but don't.

plenty of 'refugees' are loaded. eg deposed sri lankan prime minister. Means nothing. You have NEVER described even vaguely your area of expertise, so Im sure you havent got one.

You know you're doing well when people don't want to believe your life, call you a fraud, etc. It's too much for someone to envision what's possible and they get bitter when they haven't made any effort to improve their lives because it's "too hard, too much work, they're unlucky, *insert victim excuse".

But it's all in the mindset. Someone can look at you doing well and be proud, get motivated or they can get upset, angry, bitter due to low self esteem/insecurity issues. You can only lead a horse to water but can't make him drink.

gjdm

You know you're doing well when people don't want to believe your life, call you a fraud, etc. It's too much for someone to envision what's possible and they get bitter when they haven't made any effort to improve their lives because it's "too hard, too much work, they're unlucky, *insert victim excuse".

But it's all in the mindset. Someone can look at you doing well and be proud, get motivated or they can get upset, angry, bitter due to low self esteem/insecurity issues. You can only lead a horse to water but can't make him drink.

gjdm

nope

trust me, anyone who is ACTUALLY a big deal in this world does not need to come onto a dieing gay indian bb forum and tell everyone every month or two

when I talk about my golf, its with tongue firmly in cheek and in the full expectation of everyone taking the p.

nope

trust me, anyone who is ACTUALLY a big deal in this world does not need to come onto a dieing gay indian bb forum and tell everyone every month or two

when I talk about my golf, its with tongue firmly in cheek and in the full expectation of everyone taking the p.

It’s a very useful exercise. If you genuinely do it with genuine intent then you will see that your true self is nothing and nobody.

Your ego self is the one chasing all these goals and accomplishments. Even chasing the goals and accomplishment of other people are still extensions of your own ego. It’s not your true self.

Your true self is nothing and nobody. You are a nobody. Mind and body fall away when you experience that your true self is just the observer. That is the true self actualization that you are seeking and that can not be found in the external world of striving for milestones and goals and accomplishments.