I’m a pretty disciplined guy man tbh. Not responding at all and going NC is eating at me though a bit admittedly, just because I keep thinking I want to let her know that what she said is BS.. I couldn’t picture getting back with her unless a miracle happened and she gave a mature apology and acted like an adult, but obviously that’s not going to happen lol. So I’m moving forward. I’m only human man and I did like her a bit, doesn’t mean I’d just get back with her. Not to pat my own back but most guys wouldn’t have just shut her off completely like it did. Just sucks because I feel like I could have vented back at her with some honesty even though it probably wouldn’t benefit anyone. Feel like she gave me no choice than to cut her off because she was acting so childish..

Just be active. Sports groups are great if you're into that and at least semi athletic. Recently moved from So Cal to a new state and I'm in my mid 30s. Joined a men's golf club where a majority of members are in their 50s and since I'm not a complete tool they're constantly bringing their mid 20s daughters around. It's been fun, may get complicated in the end, but it's fun for now and I may find something more serious which is what I'm looking for. Honestly, just get out and talk to people. I have little/no success in online dating, the most attractive thing about me is my calves which can't exactly be portrayed in a photo but I can talk.

Squash is a solid idea, I'd just suggest find something that you're interested in and let things start there. Females love passion, even if you suck at the activity that you're engaging in. Don't overthink it, just have fun and be fun. If you're having fun doing things that you like to do socially, it will naturally attract others. Then, it will naturally attract people who will then connect you to other people. Have to get out there, online is ass IMO unless you're tall, dark, and handsome which I certainly am not.

That's interesting about golf. Most of the tennis members are in their 40s and 50s but they're married. I don't see their kids hanging around, though, but I'm sure their twentysomething daughters love the golf course and the bars there.

just run out of girls on hinge man. if i widen my preferences it starts showing me curly haired fat girls and black girls for hours. :/

spent $200 on a date. $140 and food/dessert and $60 for parking because I lost my ticket.

**** man. Didn't even get head.

So this never ended up happening. We still haven't exchanged our stuff and she apparently has been seeing someone else the past few weeks even after all the I'm not ready for a serious relationship stuff. I don't know if she was just trying not to hurt my feelings or is just a ****ty person. Breaking up she seemed so indecisive on if she wanted to or not so I was kinda holding on for a while. Fwiw I have had an immense amount of stress from some family stuff, inheritance, lawsuits ect and I've been so uptight and easily aggravated and probably not the funnest person to be around and I knew how I was coming off and honestly I wouldn't have wanted to be with me. Really sucks though cause the chemistry was insane. Even when she was talking to someone else I kept getting almost daily snapchats from her and I was drunk the other weekend and responded back saying I can't read you, do you want to **** or not....and then learned about the new guy. It just really sucks when a girl is seeing a guy that isn't as good looking, makes maybe a quarter of your income, not as tall, and def not as good in bed.....makes you think damn my personality must just suck or something. Want my stuff back obv, but really just don't want to talk to her obv...on day 10 or 11 of no contact.

1st, 2nd, 3rd, longer?

I never take a girl out for more than drinks for a first date.

TFW you've been golfing 2x a week for 2 years and no one's introduced you to chit.

1st and last buddy

Not every girls putting out on the first date. Dinner is always a terrible choice for a first date imo. Pick a bar where you can sit right next to eachother and have a few drinks and if it is going well some touching will start happening and it goes from there even with the good girls. Was the conversation that bad?

she was a 4. was humilating

If you are going through a stressful time maybe it's not that your personality "sucks," rather you can't put your best foot forward in that aspect.

If you are happy with your personality/hobbies/values/etc then you will attract what's right for you, which doesn't always align with what you think you want.

You will continue to have these negative experiences until you stop dating with the sole goal of sex in mind OR you are upfront about your intentions right off the bat.

Maybe I'm lucky, there's a pretty large group, it's not like I'm playing with the same 6-7 guys every week and then there's a great 19th hole that as the other user said the daughters seem to love to hang out at. Could just be the area, but I've met most of my dates through joining some sort of sports club.

my goal isn't sex.

I want to date a 7+ feminine girl. If they don't meet those requirements (that girl), sex is the only goal.

Skinnyfat88 just fyi I dm’d you a quick question, just wanted to mention here in case you don’t see anything t or get notified.

And no brahs if you’re wondering, I haven’t talked to the last girl since we parted ways.

Then stop going out with women who you don't consider up to your standards or if you feel like you need the practice then treat it as a learning experience (in which case, again, your goal should be to get better at dating and not look at every date that doesn't end in sex as a failure).

Are you a 7+ yourself ?

I'm trying so hard to listen to my therapist and date men my age but while I was on vacation on an island a cute 22 year old bought me 4 drinks even though I offered to pay and a 50 year old ordered 2 drinks and then left me with the bill. He sent a text that he heard about me seeing men on the other islands and didn't want to be, "one of those guys". Still, he should have at least offered to pay for his drinks. That was so rude. Sheesh.

Define your therapist's age range and gender. Seems like they are coping and trying to cockblock.

If young guys are willing to date/smash and you enjoy it, why would they care.

Female late 30s I would guess?

She doesn't like it as I've caught feels for some of the guys and she considers it harmful, damaging behavior.

I guess if you caught strong feelz and the young dudes just want to pump and dump then it can be damaging.

At the same time, is dating a 50 year old man any better? From my experience, Gen X men are the least respectful and entitled group.

I don't even blame you or SS for divorce raping ur husbands and wanting to date younger guys.

Yeah def very true. Been focusing on trying to relax and have a good time, when I do I naturally become a lot more charismatic.

I had this girl message me for the SEVENTH time about coming to get her stuff. Once again she cancels an hour or two before hand. Seems pretty strange to me. It has been nearly 2 months, with a message every week other than last week cause I didn't message her for 2 weeks.

They don't pump and dump. They keep it as ongoing FWBs but sometimes that makes it worse when you catch feels.

I don't know what is wrong with Gen X men but they have been horrible. I'd rather be alone than with the ones I've met.

Well, they can't really be anything else because of your situation, right? It's not damaging to you if you both know going in what's up, you obviously know yours and it's not necessarily a relationship material type of situation. If you think things will work out if you were out, work towards that. You're just settling right now because you are still married and can't have more, that's what the ultimate issue is.

I'm sure some are jaded, lack emotional intelligence, etc etc BUT if they can sense you're more interested in young guys (or know that you've been having flings with young guys), that in itself could be a huge turnoff for them and/or make them insecure and not bother.

How would he have heard this?

I put gen X guys and younger millennial females in the same category when it comes to entitlement. They need everything their way and aren't respectful to others.

I put gen X females and younger millenial males / Gen Z males in the same category where we are empaths. We treat others equally and generally are understanding/respectful of others.

Gen X females wanting younger guys has more to do with attraction IMO.

i'm a 4-5.

He was new to the island and he was telling stories about dating crazy island ladies and I said the men were pretty crazy, too.

I wasn't going to have sex with him, but if he wanted to be my Airbnb contact if I bought a condo there then that's a bad way to show it by not paying for his drinks.