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Just got my first Bumble match lined up. Help me not fuk this up
06-11-2022, 01:29 PM
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#121
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Originally Posted By mcdojo⏩
Dear lord, I absolutely lost my chit at this first reply. Nearly cried. It was all the more funny cos I somewhat know OP and have been following his posts for a long time.she disabled?
Anyway, OP, I’m rootin’ for ya.
07-12-2022, 12:32 AM
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#122
07-12-2022, 12:41 AM
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#123
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
what's wrong with her jaw bruh. she's perfectly fine looking unlike that other girl who looks like she needs a crash dummy helmetOK brahs, got another one. 5'11" athletic girl with a transformer jaw. No bio, not much for prompts.
Manlet into tall girls crew here, give me some openers so I don't fuk this one up.


Manlet into tall girls crew here, give me some openers so I don't fuk this one up.


07-12-2022, 12:47 AM
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#124
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Weird to see this thread bumped.
Originally Posted By outfoxxed⏩
This girl unmatched me immediately. Must have been an accidental swipe.what's wrong with her jaw bruh. she's perfectly fine looking unlike that other girl who looks like she needs a crash dummy helmet
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07-12-2022, 12:53 AM
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#125
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Anyway, probably good to get this thread bumped, cause I just got an out of the blue match on Hinge the other day.
I've quit using dating apps for a month or so, but I got an inbound like from this girl, so I matched her. No response from her in 24 hours. We'll see what happens.
Spoiler!




I've quit using dating apps for a month or so, but I got an inbound like from this girl, so I matched her. No response from her in 24 hours. We'll see what happens.
Spoiler!




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08-16-2022, 12:47 AM
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#126
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All right. I switched out my Bumble cover pic this last week, and in 3 days I've got 3 matches. Feels Chad man.
First off, I got right swiped by literal phuckin SilenceSpeaks.
Spoiler!


"YES I'm 42." Bish, your face looks 62.
Second, you know the Downy looking girl that started this thread?
Spoiler!
She phucking liked me again. I srsly don't know whether to like her back or not... not sher if she even remembers me. Seems like she really wants this ****ot dink though.
And third, I had another match come through my phone while driving through rural Idaho. 25yo art teacher from BF nowhere. Yeah, she kind of looks like a chunky potato, but she opened with a 10/10 banter-y response to one of my prompts. Feelsbadman that I had to leave for San Diego in 2 days... wood have been fine asking her out on a date if I was still in town.
Spoiler!
First off, I got right swiped by literal phuckin SilenceSpeaks.
Spoiler!


"YES I'm 42." Bish, your face looks 62.
Second, you know the Downy looking girl that started this thread?
Spoiler!

She phucking liked me again. I srsly don't know whether to like her back or not... not sher if she even remembers me. Seems like she really wants this ****ot dink though.
And third, I had another match come through my phone while driving through rural Idaho. 25yo art teacher from BF nowhere. Yeah, she kind of looks like a chunky potato, but she opened with a 10/10 banter-y response to one of my prompts. Feelsbadman that I had to leave for San Diego in 2 days... wood have been fine asking her out on a date if I was still in town.
Spoiler!

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08-16-2022, 12:51 AM
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#127
08-16-2022, 12:54 AM
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Originally Posted By gmenfan40⏩
It's literally the same chick.Is this a troll thread? I literally seen the exact same pictures of that ugly female in the OP on here before. (Super Ded fkn Srs)
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08-16-2022, 01:20 AM
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#129
08-16-2022, 01:26 AM
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#130
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Cot damn online dating is brutal. Could you show a picture of you OP? Or post someone that looks like you.
08-16-2022, 08:43 AM
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#131
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Originally Posted By ****inator⏩
Don't like throwing out face pics on an open misc, but I'm on the Macauley Culkin crew.Cot damn online dating is brutal. Could you show a picture of you OP? Or post someone that looks like you.

^^^ pry the closest resemblance I can find is a teenage Joe Burrow

^^ unfortunately.
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08-17-2022, 12:20 PM
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#132
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So Downer girl just texted me. "Hey, how are you?"
To Cliffs what happened last time,
-I spit awkward FA game and she feeds me 1 word responses
-2 days later, she's like "I just read your profile and saw you don't want kids."
-I'm like "yeah, I don't."
-she's like "well I do, so cool" and unmatches.
Which is fine, kids are a totally legit dealbreaker. But to not even read the profile of the dude you're texting... and then to forget you even matched him... and then to go and swipe him without reading his profile AGAIN... I think she literally is retarded.
I don't even know what to say brahs. An out of the blue unmatch would be rude, saying "um, hey, we've already done this" would be rude unless I phrased it really well, and going through the same text convo again would be the most pointless thing ever.
Do I just gun for a smash or something.
Cliffs of cliffs:
To Cliffs what happened last time,
-I spit awkward FA game and she feeds me 1 word responses
-2 days later, she's like "I just read your profile and saw you don't want kids."
-I'm like "yeah, I don't."
-she's like "well I do, so cool" and unmatches.
Which is fine, kids are a totally legit dealbreaker. But to not even read the profile of the dude you're texting... and then to forget you even matched him... and then to go and swipe him without reading his profile AGAIN... I think she literally is retarded.
I don't even know what to say brahs. An out of the blue unmatch would be rude, saying "um, hey, we've already done this" would be rude unless I phrased it really well, and going through the same text convo again would be the most pointless thing ever.
Do I just gun for a smash or something.
Cliffs of cliffs:
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08-17-2022, 12:28 PM
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#133
- 300Lane1
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Smash and dash bruh...She already knows you don't want kids, hit her with the Netflix and chill reply and if she's not down go NC.So Downer girl just texted me. "Hey, how are you?"
To Cliffs what happened last time,
-I spit awkward FA game and she feeds me 1 word responses
-2 days later, she's like "I just read your profile and saw you don't want kids."
-I'm like "yeah, I don't."
-she's like "well I do, so cool" and unmatches.
Which is fine, kids are a totally legit dealbreaker. But to not even read the profile of the dude you're texting... and then to forget you even matched him... and then to go and swipe him without reading his profile AGAIN... I think she literally is retarded.
I don't even know what to say brahs. An out of the blue unmatch would be rude, saying "um, hey, we've already done this" would be rude unless I phrased it really well, and going through the same text convo again would be the most pointless thing ever.
Do I just gun for a smash or something.
Cliffs of cliffs:
To Cliffs what happened last time,
-I spit awkward FA game and she feeds me 1 word responses
-2 days later, she's like "I just read your profile and saw you don't want kids."
-I'm like "yeah, I don't."
-she's like "well I do, so cool" and unmatches.
Which is fine, kids are a totally legit dealbreaker. But to not even read the profile of the dude you're texting... and then to forget you even matched him... and then to go and swipe him without reading his profile AGAIN... I think she literally is retarded.
I don't even know what to say brahs. An out of the blue unmatch would be rude, saying "um, hey, we've already done this" would be rude unless I phrased it really well, and going through the same text convo again would be the most pointless thing ever.
Do I just gun for a smash or something.
Cliffs of cliffs:
08-17-2022, 12:29 PM
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#134
08-17-2022, 12:48 PM
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#135
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Why no kids? If a genetics reason then why not adoption?So Downer girl just texted me. "Hey, how are you?"
To Cliffs what happened last time,
-I spit awkward FA game and she feeds me 1 word responses
-2 days later, she's like "I just read your profile and saw you don't want kids."
-I'm like "yeah, I don't."
-she's like "well I do, so cool" and unmatches.
Which is fine, kids are a totally legit dealbreaker. But to not even read the profile of the dude you're texting... and then to forget you even matched him... and then to go and swipe him without reading his profile AGAIN... I think she literally is retarded.
I don't even know what to say brahs. An out of the blue unmatch would be rude, saying "um, hey, we've already done this" would be rude unless I phrased it really well, and going through the same text convo again would be the most pointless thing ever.
Do I just gun for a smash or something.
Cliffs of cliffs:
To Cliffs what happened last time,
-I spit awkward FA game and she feeds me 1 word responses
-2 days later, she's like "I just read your profile and saw you don't want kids."
-I'm like "yeah, I don't."
-she's like "well I do, so cool" and unmatches.
Which is fine, kids are a totally legit dealbreaker. But to not even read the profile of the dude you're texting... and then to forget you even matched him... and then to go and swipe him without reading his profile AGAIN... I think she literally is retarded.
I don't even know what to say brahs. An out of the blue unmatch would be rude, saying "um, hey, we've already done this" would be rude unless I phrased it really well, and going through the same text convo again would be the most pointless thing ever.
Do I just gun for a smash or something.
Cliffs of cliffs:
You just not like kids?
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08-17-2022, 12:55 PM
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#136
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Bruh just tell her you changed your mind about kids
Then creampie her and never text her again
Then creampie her and never text her again
12-12-2022, 09:36 PM
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#137
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lol doood necrobump. yeah I've had women from before match with me again and they legit don't remember me. I feel like a ***got beta because I remembered them, tho...
12-12-2022, 09:41 PM
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#138
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
Why would you feel bad about that though? Srslol doood necrobump. yeah I've had women from before match with me again and they legit don't remember me. I feel like a ***got beta because I remembered them, tho...
You have to remember a majority of these dating app sloots are overwhelmed with options so them not remembering you isn't personal.
Not to mention most of them are terrible at conversations and can't even ask questions.
12-12-2022, 09:41 PM
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#139
12-12-2022, 09:45 PM
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#140
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Originally Posted By elterrible987⏩
This exactlythis is good mentality OP, fake it before you make it and good you arent super desperate for her but you need practice for going on dates.
.
.
Good job OP you have the right mindset, it’s all about practice don’t over think it just go on the attack and fake it till you make it. Crack jokes and be confident
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12-12-2022, 10:27 PM
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#141
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Originally Posted By Miscbob⏩
Updates:OP what's happening these days? Update pls
In the last couple months on Bumble, I only got one other match with a girl in September, a chunky dance teacher in her late 20s. I had Rona that week, so all my texts were late and really half-azzed. I told her the situation and gave her a "perfect, let's reschedule" for the next week. The next week, she claimedshe had Rona and couldn't meet, and then she unmatched me a little while later.
I've pretty much quit Bumble, tbh. I still have it installed but I open the app maybe once a week. The thing with being a male on Bumble is that your value is determined by height + first pic....nothing I can do about height, but my pics suck because my face is bloatmaxxed. I'm carrying 15 extra pounds at least. Short + bad pics just make spending time on there a waste.
So I need to lose weight and get better pics before I jump back on there. I only lost like 5 fukking pounds in 6 months through diet cause I don't have the discipline to stick to anything, so this month I admitted I'm finally going to need exercise (pre-hypertension heart rates on annual medical checkup said the same thing).
It's going to take a couple months to get down to a weight where Bumble maxxing even makes sense. A pound a week is optimistic, so I probably won't be at where I want to be until spring or summer '23.
IRL is a dead end like always. Work is Pajeetmaxxed and overwhelmingly male. The other day at a company picnic, I heard an Indian guy complain that "there are too many Indians here!", absolutely fukkin dedsrs. Golf is white male boomer maxxed. I have yet to meet any single girls in a year of playing rec sports... my current team has 3 girls and they all have boyfriends. We have had zero get-togethers or parties or chit either. Haven't been going to bars because short and bloatmaxxed and because paying $100 for drinks and Uber to stand around solo absolutely blows.
My birthday's in the summer. It's looking like a straight shot from here to become a 28 year old kissless virgin, and if Vegas was handicapping it, odds are I make it to 30. Joining a church is the only wild card I can think of.
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12-12-2022, 10:41 PM
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#142
- Miscbob
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
It's good to see you're realistic about what you need to do to improve and are making changes towards that.Updates:
In the last couple months on Bumble, I only got one other match with a girl in September, a chunky dance teacher in her late 20s. I had Rona that week, so all my texts were late and really half-azzed. I told her the situation and gave her a "perfect, let's reschedule" for the next week. The next week, she claimedshe had Rona and couldn't meet, and then she unmatched me a little while later.
I've pretty much quit Bumble, tbh. I still have it installed but I open the app maybe once a week. The thing with being a male on Bumble is that your value is determined by height + first pic....nothing I can do about height, but my pics suck because my face is bloatmaxxed. I'm carrying 15 extra pounds at least. Short + bad pics just make spending time on there a waste.
So I need to lose weight and get better pics before I jump back on there. I only lost like 5 fukking pounds in 6 months through diet cause I don't have the discipline to stick to anything, so this month I admitted I'm finally going to need exercise (pre-hypertension heart rates on annual medical checkup said the same thing).
It's going to take a couple months to get down to a weight where Bumble maxxing even makes sense. A pound a week is optimistic, so I probably won't be at where I want to be until spring or summer '23.
IRL is a dead end like always. Work is Pajeetmaxxed and overwhelmingly male. The other day at a company picnic, I heard an Indian guy complain that "there are too many Indians here!", absolutely fukkin dedsrs. Golf is white male boomer maxxed. I have yet to meet any single girls in a year of playing rec sports... my current team has 3 girls and they all have boyfriends. We have had zero get-togethers or parties or chit either. Haven't been going to bars because short and bloatmaxxed and because paying $100 for drinks and Uber to stand around solo absolutely blows.
My birthday's in the summer. It's looking like a straight shot from here to become a 28 year old kissless virgin, and if Vegas was handicapping it, odds are I make it to 30. Joining a church is the only wild card I can think of.
In the last couple months on Bumble, I only got one other match with a girl in September, a chunky dance teacher in her late 20s. I had Rona that week, so all my texts were late and really half-azzed. I told her the situation and gave her a "perfect, let's reschedule" for the next week. The next week, she claimedshe had Rona and couldn't meet, and then she unmatched me a little while later.
I've pretty much quit Bumble, tbh. I still have it installed but I open the app maybe once a week. The thing with being a male on Bumble is that your value is determined by height + first pic....nothing I can do about height, but my pics suck because my face is bloatmaxxed. I'm carrying 15 extra pounds at least. Short + bad pics just make spending time on there a waste.
So I need to lose weight and get better pics before I jump back on there. I only lost like 5 fukking pounds in 6 months through diet cause I don't have the discipline to stick to anything, so this month I admitted I'm finally going to need exercise (pre-hypertension heart rates on annual medical checkup said the same thing).
It's going to take a couple months to get down to a weight where Bumble maxxing even makes sense. A pound a week is optimistic, so I probably won't be at where I want to be until spring or summer '23.
IRL is a dead end like always. Work is Pajeetmaxxed and overwhelmingly male. The other day at a company picnic, I heard an Indian guy complain that "there are too many Indians here!", absolutely fukkin dedsrs. Golf is white male boomer maxxed. I have yet to meet any single girls in a year of playing rec sports... my current team has 3 girls and they all have boyfriends. We have had zero get-togethers or parties or chit either. Haven't been going to bars because short and bloatmaxxed and because paying $100 for drinks and Uber to stand around solo absolutely blows.
My birthday's in the summer. It's looking like a straight shot from here to become a 28 year old kissless virgin, and if Vegas was handicapping it, odds are I make it to 30. Joining a church is the only wild card I can think of.
You don't get matches with any plus-sized women? I know plenty of chads probably hit them up for a pump and dump inflating their egos but surely some live in the real world.
The apps will be on fire in the new year, I would still sign up to them all and have a crack. There's too much opportunity to pass up even if your success rate isn't great.
Even if the women you come in contact with are taken practice talking to them, try and be fun to be around. Then when the time comes with a match you will be better prepared.
Drop your standards as much as you can too. I'm sure it's tough out there but I'm also sure plenty of uglier less successful people than yourself have found partners.
12-12-2022, 10:56 PM
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#143
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Originally Posted By Miscbob⏩
Nah, there's no fat chicks. I get matches from trannies and hot girls whose only bio is an Insta name, but no one on there has wanted to talk to me in the past three months.It's good to see you're realistic about what you need to do to improve and are making changes towards that.
You don't get matches with any plus-sized women? I know plenty of chads probably hit them up for a pump and dump inflating their egos but surely some live in the real world.
The apps will be on fire in the new year, I would still sign up to them all and have a crack. There's too much opportunity to pass up even if your success rate isn't great.
Even if the women you come in contact with are taken practice talking to them, try and be fun to be around. Then when the time comes with a match you will be better prepared.
Drop your standards as much as you can too. I'm sure it's tough out there but I'm also sure plenty of uglier less successful people than yourself have found partners.
You don't get matches with any plus-sized women? I know plenty of chads probably hit them up for a pump and dump inflating their egos but surely some live in the real world.
The apps will be on fire in the new year, I would still sign up to them all and have a crack. There's too much opportunity to pass up even if your success rate isn't great.
Even if the women you come in contact with are taken practice talking to them, try and be fun to be around. Then when the time comes with a match you will be better prepared.
Drop your standards as much as you can too. I'm sure it's tough out there but I'm also sure plenty of uglier less successful people than yourself have found partners.
As far as standards: I super-liked a girl with facial paralysis this summer, like she was permanently grimacing, cause she had a good job. She unmatched me after like 3 messages. I forget if I mentioned it ITT or not.
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12-12-2022, 11:20 PM
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#144
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That’s rough bro. Lol’d at the face girl story.
I say this in all your threads but give lifting a go. I don’t know how you have ended up on a bodybuilding forum but view that as not an option. Physique max is something you haven’t tried.
I say this in all your threads but give lifting a go. I don’t know how you have ended up on a bodybuilding forum but view that as not an option. Physique max is something you haven’t tried.
12-12-2022, 11:28 PM
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#145
12-12-2022, 11:29 PM
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#146
- IlChosenOne
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Did you seriously match with this cougar? I’d creampie her 5 times a dayAll right. I switched out my Bumble cover pic this last week, and in 3 days I've got 3 matches. Feels Chad man.
First off, I got right swiped by literal phuckin SilenceSpeaks.
Spoiler!


"YES I'm 42." Bish, your face looks 62.
Second, you know the Downy looking girl that started this thread?
Spoiler!
She phucking liked me again. I srsly don't know whether to like her back or not... not sher if she even remembers me. Seems like she really wants this ****ot dink though.
And third, I had another match come through my phone while driving through rural Idaho. 25yo art teacher from BF nowhere. Yeah, she kind of looks like a chunky potato, but she opened with a 10/10 banter-y response to one of my prompts. Feelsbadman that I had to leave for San Diego in 2 days... wood have been fine asking her out on a date if I was still in town.
Spoiler!
First off, I got right swiped by literal phuckin SilenceSpeaks.
Spoiler!


"YES I'm 42." Bish, your face looks 62.
Second, you know the Downy looking girl that started this thread?
Spoiler!

She phucking liked me again. I srsly don't know whether to like her back or not... not sher if she even remembers me. Seems like she really wants this ****ot dink though.
And third, I had another match come through my phone while driving through rural Idaho. 25yo art teacher from BF nowhere. Yeah, she kind of looks like a chunky potato, but she opened with a 10/10 banter-y response to one of my prompts. Feelsbadman that I had to leave for San Diego in 2 days... wood have been fine asking her out on a date if I was still in town.
Spoiler!

Edit: just use your best pics, they don’t have to be recent
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12-12-2022, 11:32 PM
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#147
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i had a bumble match once and after a couple days of me doing the heavy lifting and keeping the conversation rolling she says "what are you looking for?" and like an autist i thought she was telling me to fuk off. didnt realize until months later she was actually asking whether or not we was gonna just fuk or be in a serious relationship. just dont be a retard OP
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12-12-2022, 11:47 PM
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#148
- Miscbob
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Cot damn women are savageNah, there's no fat chicks. I get matches from trannies and hot girls whose only bio is an Insta name, but no one on there has wanted to talk to me in the past three months.
As far as standards: I super-liked a girl with facial paralysis this summer, like she was permanently grimacing, cause she had a good job. She unmatched me after like 3 messages. I forget if I mentioned it ITT or not.
As far as standards: I super-liked a girl with facial paralysis this summer, like she was permanently grimacing, cause she had a good job. She unmatched me after like 3 messages. I forget if I mentioned it ITT or not.
With superlikes only use them on ugly chicks, don't waste them on women who will never match with you anyway. Pro tip if you ever get a like and you can see it in the blurred out window then superlike her back, stands you out from the crowd. And if she is pretty darn average looking then she probably doesn't get many. Alsory different apps/websites as some are more popular than others in different areas.
What's the population of the city you live in? You're not living in some small redneck town? Because if so might be time to move srs
What do you generally say to them? Please tell me not cringe misc lingo.
Do you have any fob asians in your area? They're usually an easy get, especially if they're new to town.
I'm running out of ideas boyo
12-13-2022, 12:09 AM
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#149
- FAPhaggot
- Hawaiian shirt hoarder
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- FAPhaggot
- Hawaiian shirt hoarder
- Join Date: Nov 2015
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Originally Posted By Miscbob⏩
I'll respond more tithes thread tomorrow, cause it's fawking late. But I live in San Diego. I am in a really suburban neighborhood that's pretty nice but has very few people my age. Tough to move now cause I am rent-controlled 20% under market value.Cot damn women are savage
With superlikes only use them on ugly chicks, don't waste them on women who will never match with you anyway. Pro tip if you ever get a like and you can see it in the blurred out window then superlike her back, stands you out from the crowd. And if she is pretty darn average looking then she probably doesn't get many. Alsory different apps/websites as some are more popular than others in different areas.
What's the population of the city you live in? You're not living in some small redneck town? Because if so might be time to move srs
What do you generally say to them? Please tell me not cringe misc lingo.
Do you have any fob asians in your area? They're usually an easy get, especially if they're new to town.
I'm running out of ideas boyo
With superlikes only use them on ugly chicks, don't waste them on women who will never match with you anyway. Pro tip if you ever get a like and you can see it in the blurred out window then superlike her back, stands you out from the crowd. And if she is pretty darn average looking then she probably doesn't get many. Alsory different apps/websites as some are more popular than others in different areas.
What's the population of the city you live in? You're not living in some small redneck town? Because if so might be time to move srs
What do you generally say to them? Please tell me not cringe misc lingo.
Do you have any fob asians in your area? They're usually an easy get, especially if they're new to town.
I'm running out of ideas boyo
The sloot areas out here are downtown and the college-bar party zone. If I had to do it again, I'd move to the party beach, but tbh I've been there enough to know I'm not missing out on much. It's like Bumble IRL, 90% of the sloots are doodlebish trash. They don't give me the time of day, I don't particularly care for them, and it's a $40 one-way Uber ride to shoot my shot.
I've been going to my local bar every week to watch pro football games, cause it beats drinking alone. The regulars are all male and I am the only one there under 40. It gets old asking 60yo Jim how his golf game is going after his knee operation, but tbh, some days I am just happy to talk to American citizens who know what football is.
My groundhog-day week is
Mon-Fri chill with ****** (rec sports on Tuesday night after work.
Sat golf tee time with white boomers.
Sun barmaxxing with white boomers.
Mon-Fri chill with ******
Like at no point in this do XX humans enter into the equation.
Originally Posted By IlChosenOne⏩
She let the match expire and never texted me.Did you seriously match with this cougar? I’d creampie her 5 times a day
Edit: just use your best pics, they don’t have to be recent
Edit: just use your best pics, they don’t have to be recent
FA Crew
Always Pick 1 Crew
"Experience is something you get right after you need it."
12-13-2022, 12:15 AM
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#150
- Ratfish
- Join Date: Jul 2009
- Location: Portland, Oregon, United States
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Originally Posted By IlChosenOne⏩
i suspect that i'm gonna end up dating a gal identical to that lolDid you seriously match with this cougar? I’d creampie her 5 times a day
Edit: just use your best pics, they don’t have to be recent
Edit: just use your best pics, they don’t have to be recent
Make Europe Germany Again
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