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Forum » My dad is laying down and rotting since retirement, advice?
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Thread: My dad is laying down and rotting since retirement, advice?

post 1673870123 12-31-2022, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted By kengriffeyjr24⏩
I also think this might be a sign of early dementia? Not going to bring that up though...
Nah, it's just laziness. I feel that way all the time, but I still go out and do things with my family. If he won't do it on his own, you will have to force him. In old age, the parents kinda revert to the child and the children have to take the role of caretaker.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1673870133 12-31-2022, 11:06 AM
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#32
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Originally Posted By GaryRidgway⏩
My dad retired a few years ago and now spends his time listening to conservative radio and watching fox news. He also whistles nonstop.
based
post 1673870323 12-31-2022, 11:09 AM
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#33
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Start by telling him to fist himself. C where it goes from there.
1096 ng/dl
post 1673870493 12-31-2022, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted By kengriffeyjr24⏩
I also think this might be a sign of early dementia? Not going to bring that up though...
I think it'd be very speculative for us other miscers to jump to that conclusion without other details. You of course have a better feel.

My first thought was depression (losing interest/motivation in so many aspects of life seems like a major warning sign). Can't imagine you'll get stubborn old him to talk to a professional.

Maybe already done, but how about trying to give him some purpose? Like maybe instead of inviting him to do stuff with you, you ask him for help with stuff, especially stuff that he's good at?

Could just be that he needs to bore himself as others have suggested.
post 1673870763 12-31-2022, 11:16 AM
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why are you trying to change him? maybe he wants to be a relaxing lazybones. hes old af already. only got bout 10 more years. let him
rot in peace.
post 1673871993 12-31-2022, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted By StrictlyDirt⏩
why are you trying to change him? maybe he wants to be a relaxing lazybones. hes old af already. only got bout 10 more years. let him
rot in peace.
He's got a ton of grandkids so I think it's his responsibility to be taking steps to live a long healthy life. He will die an early death if this continues.
post 1673872073 12-31-2022, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted By kengriffeyjr24⏩
He's got a ton of grandkids so I think it's his responsibility to be taking steps to live a long healthy life. He will die an early death if this continues.
if you were a better son, he'd probably have an incentive to stay alive
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1673872133 12-31-2022, 11:36 AM
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#38
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
if you were a better son, he'd probably have an incentive to stay alive
lol bald and fat and being angry
post 1673872163 12-31-2022, 11:36 AM
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#39
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
if you were a better son, he'd probably have an incentive to stay alive
post 1673872183 12-31-2022, 11:37 AM
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#40
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Originally Posted By legbroke⏩
I think it'd be very speculative for us other miscers to jump to that conclusion without other details. You of course have a better feel.

My first thought was depression (losing interest/motivation in so many aspects of life seems like a major warning sign). Can't imagine you'll get stubborn old him to talk to a professional.

Maybe already done, but how about trying to give him some purpose? Like maybe instead of inviting him to do stuff with you, you ask him for help with stuff, especially stuff that he's good at?

Could just be that he needs to bore himself as others have suggested.
Thanks. I think depression is a possible reason. He was always sort of "blue" when I was growing up. I think he's just accepted perhaps life is pointless or something and there's no reason to be motivated (hence the Livia/tony soprano reference). He's super smart so I think he's just rationalized himself out of life.
post 1673872213 12-31-2022, 11:37 AM
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That lifestyle is one quick trip to the grave.
300 Forever
post 1673872273 12-31-2022, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Sil3nt1⏩
lol bald and fat and being angry
bet your dad is suicidal as well for having a 5'4" son

"how in the fukk did he end up 3" shorter than his mother...did she fukk the gardener?"
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1673872333 12-31-2022, 11:39 AM
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#43
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
bet your dad is suicidal as well for having a 5'4" son
least I proved I'm not 5'4 and you proved yourself being fat and bald

brutal
post 1673872663 12-31-2022, 11:45 AM
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He is 69 with a million dollar home and money in the bank why are you bothering him
post 1673872773 12-31-2022, 11:47 AM
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#45
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Originally Posted By lnvictus⏩
Currently on the same boat.
It's as if they are waiting to kick the bucket, it's sad as chit.
There's nothing that can be done, if a person wants to destroy themselves like that - no amount of intervention would help.
He did this the past 15 years as well when he got home from work. I didn't think anything of it since it was a purely 6pm to 10pm thing.

Now it's 7am to 10pm all day 7 days a week.....

He's not even watching cool binge worthy shows either. Stuff like people's court and other trash.
post 1673872783 12-31-2022, 11:47 AM
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#46
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He is lying flat and living the life!
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post 1673873313 12-31-2022, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted By kengriffeyjr24⏩
Thanks. I think depression is a possible reason. He was always sort of "blue" when I was growing up. I think he's just accepted perhaps life is pointless or something and there's no reason to be motivated (hence the Livia/tony soprano reference). He's super smart so I think he's just rationalized himself out of life.
My dad is a bit similar. I guess when I was too young to notice anything my dad was treated for depression a few times (something my older brother told me about only recently) and he's approaching his 70s now. Not retired, but outside of work he just watches TV and listens to his old records. One thing I noticed that gives him a kick in the ass every so often is when my brother or I go on about something we got going on and that sort of excites him into getting off his ass and getting into something, himself.

If you haven't already, maybe next time you meet up and hang with him, rave about something big you got going on. It might like a fire under his ass.
post 1673873473 12-31-2022, 11:58 AM
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#48
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get his ass on an incline treadmill for 20-40 minutes per day
post 1673873523 12-31-2022, 11:59 AM
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#49
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Kenny, Do you live with your 69 year old father?

How do you know his routine is identical every day and exactly what he does with it?


I’m not even kidding when I say this,

introduce him to Pepsi, small doses, Every other retired guy I know at the golf course is hammering lines on the regular, And they are living life up.
post 1673873733 12-31-2022, 12:02 PM
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#50
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Does he like cars? Buy a cheap banger and tell him you got a new one and you need help pimping yo ride, dad's love showing their sons how to fix things according to my extensive movie knowledge. Doesn't require him leaving the house but it'll get his brain and body working at his own pace, and small steps can lead to bigger one's. When it's built "wanna take it for a test ride?" "Hey while we're driving past might as well get a couple bevvies at the pub".
*htc*
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Lets lurk
post 1673874033 12-31-2022, 12:06 PM
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#51
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my dad is 80 years old and watches a lot of TV but he also does a lot of tradie stuff around the house. hes a vietnam veteran and has a bronze star and worked until he was like 75 so no one gives a fuk if he wants to sit around all day smoking cigs and watching netflix.
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post 1673874143 12-31-2022, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted By Goodguy03⏩
my dad is 80 years old and watches a lot of TV but he also does a lot of tradie stuff around the house. hes a vietnam veteran and has a bronze star and worked until he was like 75 so no one gives a fuk if he wants to sit around all day smoking cigs and watching netflix.
gonna smoke greens erry day and shoot guns when I’m 75 should have 2 pensions by then
post 1673874193 12-31-2022, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted By desslok⏩
Living the misc dream. My dad did similar for a couple years. Then we took him to the casino and he kind of got hooked and started going to th le casino almost everyday.
OMG wrong thing to do. Is your inheritance gone ?
post 1673874263 12-31-2022, 12:11 PM
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Took your dad 69 years to discover what I did in 3 decades lul. You'll get there one day bruh.
post 1673874453 12-31-2022, 12:14 PM
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no advice but my grandpa and mom both do the same chit.

reality is most people have no hobbies outside of tv/phone/etc


tried to get my mom into working out, bought her some equipment and she would use it for a few weeks then stop.
post 1673874643 12-31-2022, 12:20 PM
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My dad does the same but he’s poor
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post 1673874653 12-31-2022, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Goodguy03⏩
he wants to sit around all day smoking cigs and watching netflix.
das it mane
post 1673874693 12-31-2022, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted By kengriffeyjr24⏩
He did this the past 15 years as well when he got home from work. I didn't think anything of it since it was a purely 6pm to 10pm thing.

Now it's 7am to 10pm all day 7 days a week.....

He's not even watching cool binge worthy shows either. Stuff like people's court and other trash.
Just let him do his thing dude. If he's unsatisfied then eventually he'll do something different. Atleast he's not drinking everyday like many other retirees.

I know I'd get annoyed if my ****gy son kept butting into my life when I'm just doing my own thing, no offense
post 1673874773 12-31-2022, 12:22 PM
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Originally Posted By kengriffeyjr24⏩
Thanks. I think depression is a possible reason. He was always sort of "blue" when I was growing up. I think he's just accepted perhaps life is pointless or something and there's no reason to be motivated (hence the Livia/tony soprano reference). He's super smart so I think he's just rationalized himself out of life.
Damn. Well hopefully you and he figure something out to make the remaining years a bit more fulfilling.
post 1673876163 12-31-2022, 12:57 PM
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#60
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Sad so many people can relate to this with their parents as well.

I sometimes get unmotivated on a weekend and do absolutely nothing but I can't handle it for more than a few days. A full year...unfathomable to me.

Maybe it's not fun to do mostly anything at age 70. We work all our lives to retire right at the age when it's no longer fun or you have no energy to enjoy a retirement...
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