You can do it bro, I believe in you srs

Why wait?

Whoa had a very tiring workout today. DB snatches 60lbs for 5 sets of 20! Very tiring. Got HR up to max of 168.

Used to be able to do 110lbs for 20. Never for 5 sets, just one set. Goal is to at least try to get to one set of 100lbs for 20 but that might take a while. Months.

Anyway had a good massage today, relaxing day, had a lot of protein. I think it’s like 360 grams or something.

How’s every else doing?

Hell yeah, sounds like you have been making some pretty significant progress! Sounds like you had a good day of self care with that massage and tons of protein. It's so important to take care of ourselves! I'm doing alright, still feeling down and in a slump. I just feel drained physically, mentally, and spiritually, but I did accomplish my three goals today and I do feel better after having done so. I need to make myself a good meal, probably do a bunch of eggs and cheese again lol. Safeway was sold out of the cereal I wanted and I decided to wait to do a bigger shopping experience so I can get to the $50 threshold and get two reward points. I did get a free Rockstar and a protein bar (protein puck lol), so that's cool. I'm thinking about making another video, it has been a while since I've made one. It's nice to just talk and process through stuff in a similar way to a journal.

Yeah dude you haven’t made one in a long time. You should try to make one every day. They don’t have to be masterpieces of Netflix quality or perfectly eloquent like a professional motivational speaker or whatever, although I find you pretty motivating and think you’re obviously very intelligent and bring a lot of wisdom and insight. I guarantee a lot of Miscers don’t post ITT but view it all the same. Not trying to make you feel better btw just telling it like it is.

What’s been going on that you feel like you’re in such a slump for the past month or so? You were having really good bodybuilding workouts and everything and all of a sudden it seems like you kinda gave up. Not just on the bodybuilding although that’s a good indicator of your general motivation levels, but seems like you are really down. Did something happen?

I get it if you don’t really feel like sharing but just hope you’re doing ok brother. I wanna say “snap out of it” but I of all people know it’s not that easy.

I feel like you need to share a little bit about how you are feeling. Srs.

Thanks man, I really appreciate the kindness and compassion! When I get in these slumps and pits of depression, there really isn't any sort of specific reason or trigger. It's always frustrating when I really can't pinpoint what exactly is causing me to slip into a state of worsening anhedonia, apathy, and lethargy. Sometimes there is an event, like getting sick or losing a job, that can start the snowball of depression. But there are also times where everything is going pretty well and for some reason, I struggle to fully participate in life and enjoy being alive. During these times, I have to be really on top of my self care, otherwise it can get really bad, which makes it more difficult to do self care lol.

So, I think for this recent bout it has been feeling like I was getting sick and I neglected my self care. Not doing very much other and not feeding myself well combined with missing a week of workouts did not help lol. Fortunately, this is pretty minimal in terms of how bad my depression can get. I feel that I have halted the downhill slide and now back to climbing uphill over the past few days. I worked out yesterday and today, I plan on working out tomorrow. And, I have been eating a bit better as well as taking my vitamins, especially vitamin D.

Thank you for your support, I am going to be alright. I need to get back on track with my self care and routine. I haven't been down to the recovery cafe in a while and I would like to go next week (they are closed Sun and Mon) because the social connection helps a lot. You have inspired me to make a video which I plan for tomorrow because it is getting late and my brain is not working really well lol. I feel like I didn't even really articulate myself well in this post, but oh well. Like you said, it does not have to be a masterpiece! Although we are not perfect, we can strive for perfection as best as we can.

7 days of sobriety complete, currently on day 8. Feeling pretty good tbh.


Joey do you think you have PAWS?Idk just want to

It's great to see this. I'm happy for you.

Good chit bro, when’s the last time you did 7 days sober?

**** yeah, great job! I'm glad to hear that you are feeling pretty good after a week. And yes, that's one thing I didn't include in my post. I have definitely experienced PAWS since being clean and it helps to remind myself that these symptoms of PAWS will lessen in severity and frequency over time. So, it makes it easier to navigate through the days of PAWS symptoms like depression, anxiety, and brain fog. It is hard at times to discern if the symptoms are coming from PAWS or my MDD.

Just finishing up day 5. The first time in two months (probably a lot longer...since two months ago I had to stop drinking visiting family).

Things are definitely looking up and I'm trying to stay humble on the recovery road. I've felt a few times how good life can be even if I never drink again. I'm pretty sure I've been an alcoholic since 2013, when I started to drink just for the hell of it. It really started to get bad in 2018. I've been reading the Big Book lately and it does resonate with me, how even though I may have had times before 2013 when I could go maybe even a year between drinking at a party and it didn't affect me, it's just how I am. Alcoholism does run in my family and it would be the best choice for me to avoid it.

Sleep is still a bit so-and-so but I'm feeling a lot better.

Thanks again for the support bros.

Five days is awesome, benedetto. Congratulations! The sleep will get better, as you know.

Thanks everyone! Night of day 8 sleep was atrocious, but feeling better now. I just tell myself the lack of sleep, anxiety, etc is just my brain healing and will slowly get better more regularly

I’ve done a week maybe a couple times this year. Did like 2 months last year and that was probably the longest I’ve gone in 15 years.

Congrats on five days! Good job dave man! Keep us updated!Congrats on eight days! I think that is a very helpful perspective to keep, especially focusing on the fact that it is temporary.

Had good workout today, still making gains



4 pull-ups with 50lbs weight added, bodyweight 220

To think I could only do 3 reps with bodyweight of 205, and NO added weight, when I started lifting again 4 months ago.

[QUOTE=Ausaric post_id=1686466283]Had good workout today, still making gains

[youtube]1ujuOTc5Rg0?youtube]

4 pull-ups with 50lbs weight added, bodyweight 220

To think I could only do 3 reps with bodyweight of 205, and NO added weight, when I started lifting again 4 months ago.[/QUOTE]That's excellent! What was your previous best?

I don't think I've ever gone above about 215lbs total (170ish bodyweight + 45) but I started getting weird tendonitis and decided to stick with body weight for a while only. But pull-ups and chin ups are my favorite exercise.

I hope all you other guys are doing well, also, and finding happiness and contentment in sobriety.

11 years ago Bodyweight 245 I think here +125lbs, total 370



Similar bodyweight, around 250lbs, 45lbs x6



A couple years later, 270 gym weight


I consider this to be pretty strong. So I have a long way to go but considering I was almost dead in November and hadn’t really eaten food for a year leading up to that, and did 3 pull-ups on April 4th of this year, I’m pretty happy with my progress so far.

To me, very few things are as functional and impressive as a good pullup/Chinup because lots of lifters suck at them.

I also find that as you get better at them, your bench press goes up significantly.

Hey what’s up guys!

Ausaric: nice work on the gains! Keep ‘em coming! It’s awesome to see you getting your strength back after four months of hard work.

Jreacher: thanks for the sentiments and I also hope you are doing well and enjoying recovery.


I’ve been doing quite a bit better this week although I still have not made another video recently. We got a new housemate and he is moved in the the bedroom that I have, which is a two man room, so I haven’t had as much personal space to make a video. He seems cool, which I’m really grateful for. I have worked out everyday other than Monday and that has really helped with my mood and energy.

I just had a good dinner of scrambled eggs with pepper Jack cheese followed by a dessert of chocolate mocha yoplait oui and some rice pudding lol. Good stuff, I’m laying in bed typing this on my phone and playing some Raid shadow legends on my tablet. I am really grateful for this simple and happy life situation! Also, really grateful for air conditioning and a small personal fan!!!

I am glad you are feeling a little better bro. What would you think about going to a park or something outside to make your videos?

Yeah I have considered that. I can also just go out in the dining room. I have made videos with prior roommates being in the room, but that was after getting to know each other after a few weeks. I have just been making excuses haha. I do like making the videos, but I have to get in a proper mood for them. Not like in a way of them having to be perfect, but just me being in the mood to talk.

Glad you are feeling better!!! That dinner sounds good

Gotcha man. Anything good for dinner today? I have been getting these Amy’s cheese enchiladas from a local gas station where they severely undercharge for them. Target and grocery stores sell them for like $7 or $8, this gas station sells them for like $3.25. All natural and pretty good protein.

Took a recovery day today. I think that workout where I did 100 reps of DB snatches (5 sets of 20) with 60lbs, my shoulders didn’t really like it. Had some shoulder pain for a few days. Probably overdid it. But damn it hits the whole body so well I love that exercise so much.

Been watching some videos on kettlebells and saw this dude shoulder press a 200lb kettlebell 10 times. And he was lean and tall. Scary frikin dude.

Gone are my days of squatting and deadlifting and benching. It’s all gonna be light dumbbells now.


Anyone have a good workout this week?

Ausaric, why don't you squat and deadlift and bench anymore?

I don't do those anymore because I went to snap city and have a couple herniated discs. I probably should get surgery but never have. Been over 10 years now.

I sometimes bench with my son but I have to try to keep my knees in the air and be careful. It's the one lift I loved to go super heavy on.

I dunno man, I’m scared of it. Scared of how weak I would be to be honest. Maybe it would be fun to get back into it a little bit. I’ve been working really hard to build back my strength base and mobility, maybe it’s time? Start out with 135 and get the form down.

Can’t really see a use for deadlifting anymore though. Squatting with a barbell would be good.

How is your back now? Any issues? They can sometimes resolve over time.

I was just surprised considering how strong you are with pull-ups that you weren't doing the other compound lifts. Obviously it's about goals, anyway. Some of us don't need to be lifting as much as we used to if we aren't competing, anyway. I like a good balance of hypertrophy and strength to keep up with my kids, hopefully live longer, and still look like I lift.

My back is somewhat better, but maybe only 10% to 20% better than years ago. I just have to watch out for little things. If I don't keep my core pretty tight and accidentally overextend my back when doing pullups, I could tweak it.

Thanks! And yeah, the scramble came out pretty good, I was satisfied.I know what you’re talking about, those enchiladas are hella good! I’m having some toasted ravioli with Mariana dipping sauce.



It’s good to take a recovery day every once in a while! Especially when potential injuries are concerned. I’ve had good workouts all week, but I’m lifting much lighter because of tendinitis in my right arm

Steven low has a good long article, and a program for chronic tendinitis. Slowwww eccentrics is what he recommends. He gives sets/reps recommendations and how to progressively overload

Tomorrow will be day 15. Will be two weeks sober complete

Watching the Mario movie with my dad (not in person though) then going to sleep

I’ll have to look into that, thanks! Fortunately, my arm has been feeling a lot better this week!

I hope y’all are having a good weekend. I’ll admit that I had some really, really strong cravings for some beer. I don’t know if any of you guys have experienced this feeling; I was feeling really claustrophobic and trapped, almost kind of panicky without the physical agitation. A mixture of boredom, anxiety, doom, and entrapment. ****ing sucks. It’s been a while since I've had this feeling, back when I was still drinking and pacing around my apartment because I couldn’t get money to go buy beer. I think it has to do with having the new room mate after a few months of not having one. He’s cool and all, but I have a lot less personal space now.

Fortunately, I did not go out and drink. I instead did some self care. Made a big heaping of scrambled eggs with cheese and then strawberries & cream oatmeal, took a shower, and washing my bed sheets so I have a nice clean bed. I also took advantage of a 50% off grocery order on Uber Eats and had them drop off several bottles of kombucha and two packs of jalapeño White Castle sliders. I’m feeling a lot better now, sipping on some booch and playing raid shadow legends!




Whatcha all up to? Hopefully having some fun, staying sober and sober!

Edit: Sorry for the dark pic, didn't want to disturb room mate with lights on.

I’m proud of you bro. SrsI have had that feeling many times. It’s basically a panic attack, or at least that’s what it sounds like you may have had. That impending sense of doom and like you have to escape, like you’re about to die. It’s a totally irrational fear coming from deep within your brain, it’s like your subconscious is trying to communicate something to your conscious mind.

Maybe it could be something as simple as the change in your living situation. Maybe you feel fearful about getting sick again. Maybe you are worried about finances. These are all things that most people worry about pretty frequently, of course. Only problem is, some people’s fight-or-flight response overreacts to something that isn’t life-threatening in a way that your conscious brain perceived as an imminent life-threatening danger.

My go-to was always alcohol because it immediately cures that feeling for me. The only problem is that it just comes back, it’s like injecting a numbing agent into an infected limb…the pain goes away, but the infection rages on and when the feeling comes back, the pain is worse than before.

Anxiety is a struggle but I find exercise to be probably the best and most effective way to mitigate it.


I’m glad you got that booch and some sliders instead of beer. Your body and mind was very happy to get that instead of filling it with poisonous garbage.


…

In other news, I went to a gym for the first time in 9 years yesterday. Chest and lats feel strong because of all the dips and pull-ups I’ve been doing, but my shoulder press is weak as a baby. And my legs don’t feel “weak”, but unracking 135 on the bar definitely felt like something I haven’t experienced in a while.

Pathetic! My new goal is to get my squat and shoulder press up. Gotta work on those weaknesses!

I also did some depth jumps, box jumps. I am able to move pretty well with the running and sprinting I’ve been doing. Decent explosiveness.

Lots of equipment and a pool too. I’m excited. Got a free 3-day pass but will buy a membership tomorrow. Gonna go back today but not sure what I wanna work on.

Lats, biceps, chest definitely feeling strong but shoulders, triceps weak as a baby. Probably just gonna take a few weeks to reaccustom myself to the movements.