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Forum » I became a father [SRS]
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Thread: I became a father [SRS]

post 1687479363 07-30-2023, 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted By WetCoaster⏩
I lived a pretty wild life before I got married and had a child. It changed my life for the better in so many ways.

I know the joy you have just experienced and it only gets better.

Congrats.
I had that wild life also - both before I got married, then once married we romped around the world for years before starting the family now.

Just the first time my baby filled its lungs and cried decided it man.

Thank you. It is an additional "purpose" for sure. Parents must get it, srs.
post 1687487403 07-30-2023, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted By jreacher⏩
Congratulations! Being a father is my favorite part of my life's journey.
Thanks brother. Hope you have been well - and, indeed, so early on in this journey with the little one and yet it is taking many aspects of our lives to a new trajectory. (Where to live and raise her - country, city, etc. proximity to family (extended) etc. )

I'm sure it'll be a wild ride.
Originally Posted By Muzzlrpress⏩
Just the one. Such a lovely, manageable number.

Honestly, hell is only the first few months. Some guys are different, but I hated the newborn stage. They can't do ANYTHING. They're basically just decorations at that stage. Cute, useless decorations that chit a lot, have a cry that can peel paint off the wall, and have a 6th sense to prevent you from doing things that could potentially create a sibling.
Yeah one is. A friend of mine has a 7 month old and wants a second with his wife already, and he admitted the first three months were a living hell since breastfeeding didn't work, the nipple shield things didn't work, their son was 'tongue tied' and had to get clipped, and that still didn't help him swallow while nursing etc.

I called him to vent a bit myself and he laughed going 'man I'd trade the first weeks any day for my third month' - and yet he wants another one. Crazy, right?

My newborn is cute, until she isn't. She has lungs like an opera singer and can make her displeasure felt very clearly if...she is gassy. LOL
Originally Posted By thesloshedman⏩
Enjoy it boyo. They really do grow up too fast.
So I'm told brother. Great username - I'll get "sloshed" too, once things settle down. Head out with the boys for a wild night in NYC heh.
post 1687487483 07-30-2023, 08:31 PM
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Where's the transcript from Fraudhy?
RAW DOG CREW LIEUTENANT

ALL ROADS LEAD TO MENTZER

President Donald J Trump Crew
Steroids Crew
Growth Hormone Crew
Miscers Who Lift Crew
Robert Pickton Hooker Disposal Crew
Mustang Crew
No Alcohol Crew

Gay Phaggot Crew:
Papi Cholo
post 1687494003 07-30-2023, 11:16 PM
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I'm gonna give you a cheat code


I'm back, bitches!
post 1687494993 07-30-2023, 11:43 PM
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Congrats!
Words to live by...."You're at the shopping mall with your girl but a hot chick walks by. Are you going to look at the hot girl? No. You use your peripheral vision."
post 1687511563 07-31-2023, 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted By Godfrd824⏩
Can't wait for the cope from nokidcels. Congrats OP.
Yeah, some prime examples below and elsewhere ITT:
Originally Posted By AVIK777⏩
Waste of money
Originally Posted By bfdehewdbyywhn⏩
probably chads/tyrones seed
On money though, interestingly: an older colleague of mine said "Congrats, back when I had mine I budgeted 1.5m per kid, now with inflation you'll need around 2.1m to raise them well in this city". The math checks out if we'd place our child in private schools the entire way, but it's too early to decide that already.
Originally Posted By Arthax⏩
Congrats man. Bet it’s quite the feeling. I’ve got a few more months yet until my son arrives, then I can know the feels too
Hey that's great! Congrats man - hope you enjoy the journeyThe first time you hear your son roar you'll know
post 1687548743 07-31-2023, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted By Mercworx⏩
I don’t feel anything. Not to say I don’t love my kids but there is no “high”. Sometimes I worry something is wrong with me.

But to OP congrats, the world needs more good dads raising strong kids. I wish you health and happiness.
How many kids do you have, and how old are they? Some guys I know (and one ITT) has said they didn't like the newborn/infant phase at all. Maybe we can say that the mother's role is "unconditional love" whereas the father's is "conditional" in a sense - more "earned" than out of biological necessity. Know what I mean?

And thank you. To you and yours as well - health and happiness brother.
Originally Posted By gwg77⏩
Congrats bro! Wishing you and your family all the best!
Thank you man!
Originally Posted By BrickEX⏩
Congrats brother! It’s a hell of a journey and one of those few things in life where most cliche sayings hold true.

A few tips you might hear a million times but, again, hold true:

1) Remember that you and your wife are a TEAM! Sleep deprivation and stress can be brutal in compromising this team, which makes game planning around the “who does what and when” to be a critical piece. There will be unexpected sh*t (some literally) that goes down, so the more you can eliminate unpredictability the better.
2) Take as many pictures and videos as you can! It’s so great being able to look back on anything and everything.
3) Listen to feedback from others but ALWAYS remember that nobody knows your baby like you and your wife do. Trust your instincts here.

Enjoy the ride!
Yeah the whole 'comparison' thing is pointless. Breastfeeding for us was very easy, for others a nightmare, whereas others then say their 3 week old sleeps for 6+ hours straight so they aren't sleep deprived (shrug).

As you say, she's our child - we are the ones learning who she is and understanding her needs. Luckily I get a decent amount of paternity and vacation so I'm very present, and we're recruiting a postpartum doula to help out as well.
post 1687588293 08-01-2023, 01:00 PM
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Originally Posted By Maestro⏩
Anyone can pop out a kid, the biggest hurdle is finding a woman worthy enough to be the mother of your children.
Wrong. Plenty of people these days are unable to have children, so "anyone can pop out a kid" is factually incorrect. This applies both to men and women - ask anyone in the fertility industry how many consults they have even with 20 year olds who are infertile.

I'm truly blessed with my woman, though she calls it a "skill".
Originally Posted By DustinTheHuss⏩
Congratulations! It's all amazing, even the rough teen years. I loved ages 0-12!
It is quite the journey so far - she's our little girl, we're still learning her - and I mean, she's changing daily heh. A friend told me today "Just wait until the "I have to be home by 10pm? I HATE YOU"" era, but I just can't see it happening (yet).
post 1687588323 08-01-2023, 01:01 PM
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OP - my big piece of advice for new parents - go to bed. As often and as early as you can.
post 1687591913 08-01-2023, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted By Cleveland33⏩
OP - my big piece of advice for new parents - go to bed. As often and as early as you can.
That's partly why we found it easier than many people: I only sleep 4.5 hours a night. I'd let my wife sleep and I'd go and see to the baby.
Originally Posted By LogicalLifts⏩
Some guys I know (and one ITT) has said they didn't like the newborn/infant phase at all. Maybe we can say that the mother's role is "unconditional love" whereas the father's is "conditional" in a sense - more "earned" than out of biological necessity. Know what I mean?
They are more fun when they can do stuff. When they start to walk and talk, it's great. Even before that, when they crawl, it gets better.

When they just lie there, with stuff coming out of one end and noise coming out of the other, you sing to them and pull faces at them, but they just aren't as "fun".
Screw nature; my body will do what I DAMN WELL tell it to do!

The only dangerous thing about an exercise is the person doing it.

They had the technology to rebuild me. They made me better, stronger, faster......
post 1687596633 08-01-2023, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted By FarmersSon⏩
Congrats! Enjoy every second of it. I know she's a baby now and at that stage is seems like she's going to be with you forever, but in 18 years you're going to look back and wonder where the time went. My oldest will be a senior this year and it seems like just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital.
Thanks man. This is what I hear from friends - 'you blink and it's gone'. I'm in the midst of some financial planning, location, potential job switch (remote at my current salary would be GOAT but highly unlikely). The idea is to raise her as best we can, in the best place we can. We can do that in NYC, but it's not "ideal".

Close friends of ours sold one of their places here in NYC and bought a nice house in CT - great school district, safe, no crazies nearby, that kind of thing. Thinking, thinking. And we're enjoying every minute of it (except the sleep deprivation, lol).
Originally Posted By cgh⏩
Kids are the best, man
Thanks dude. It's our first - those folks who pop off 2 or 3 in rapid succession? DAMN, what a commitment lol.
post 1687598213 08-01-2023, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted By LogicalLifts⏩
Thanks man. This is what I hear from friends - 'you blink and it's gone'. I'm in the midst of some financial planning, location, potential job switch (remote at my current salary would be GOAT but highly unlikely). The idea is to raise her as best we can, in the best place we can. We can do that in NYC, but it's not "ideal".

Close friends of ours sold one of their places here in NYC and bought a nice house in CT - great school district, safe, no crazies nearby, that kind of thing. Thinking, thinking. And we're enjoying every minute of it (except the sleep deprivation, lol).



Thanks dude. It's our first - those folks who pop off 2 or 3 in rapid succession? DAMN, what a commitment lol.
I would recommend moving out of the city.

We live on 40 acres sandwiched between 2 farms, but can be in central London in under an hour. Anything we want/need from the city is readily accessible, without having to deal with the downsides of city living.

Bars, restaurants, theatres etc are going to form a smaller part of your life; therefore the proximity of such will hold less importance.
Screw nature; my body will do what I DAMN WELL tell it to do!

The only dangerous thing about an exercise is the person doing it.

They had the technology to rebuild me. They made me better, stronger, faster......
post 1687611183 08-01-2023, 07:24 PM
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Originally Posted By nothingshocking⏩
Congrats dude, I hope your first child is a masculine child...
Brother, trust me when I say my little girl is in good hands. Between my wife's values and my own...

@DuracelBunny I know what you mean. Some careers are far more focused in cities, mine being NYC and perhaps Chicago in the USA, then London or Frankfurt in Europe.

Been a while but I love splashing out in London, since I wear suits. And topping that off with some Alain Ducasse.

But things have changed as you pointed out. So right now I am slowly exploring options- not running from or toward anything, just seeing what is out there.
post 1687637943 08-02-2023, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted By Lexira⏩
Congratulations.

The notion of having a child until this very day intimidates me more than anything I have experienced so far. And I have served in the military, led a team of sadistic rugby players while at university and have faced people in my current line of work that have enough money and power to have you terminated without a trace on them. And Still having a child intimidates me more. srs


Perhaps it's different kind of responsibilities, ones which I am happily accepting and the other I cannot.
It is because of the responsibility - the permanence of it. So it isn't surprising that your comparison - how easy it would be to have you erased without a trace - leaves you more intimidated by the baby.

Add to that the need to have a responsible, reliable partner in all this and it makes it am even greater challenge.
post 1687663663 08-02-2023, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted By Muzzlrpress⏩
I'm gonna give you a cheat code


So far so good without this - but we're super lucky on the breastfeeding side of things. Still trying to learn her character, know what I mean? I do firmly believe now (had been told this 1000x before) that children are born with a character that good parents can mold/shape into something.
post 1687671003 08-02-2023, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Awwww that's sweet! I used to play the soundtrack to Meet Joe Black while I was pregnant and then would put it on a loop at night in my sons nursery. It seemed to help him sleep.

And he is a full fledged adult. Over 21. I took him to his first beach bar experience a few weeks ago. lol
Haha, really? I read earlier today that if wifey eats something particular (like a spicy curry) she did during pregnancy, that the flow in her breast milk will remind our baby of that 'taste' since it passes to the baby during pregnancy too.

So much to learn here.

You took him to a beach bar? Damn lol. You mogging some of the 20 year olds?
Originally Posted By JaegerBrah⏩
Congrats, brah! My kid is due in December and I cannot wait for these feels.
Thanks dude - nice nickname. Good luck with the preparations as well.

As a general comment: we tried to go for these biodegradable diapers but they just don't hold a candle to Huggies. Have huge shipments coming in from Amazon as we speak lol.
post 1687672033 08-02-2023, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted By LogicalLifts⏩
As a general comment: we tried to go for these biodegradable diapers but they just don't hold a candle to Huggies. Have huge shipments coming in from Amazon as we speak lol.
We've been done with diapers for a few years, but we tried a bunch over the years. My sister used cloth diapers with her kids.

For us, nothing compared to the terrible-for-the-environment plastic disposable diapers. Huggies were really good. Kirkland signature diapers were my wife's choice for price/performance. Another trick she used when kids started sleeping through the night was to use a size bigger at night because it could hold more before it leaked.
MFC
post 1687673253 08-02-2023, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted By LogicalLifts⏩
As a general comment: we tried to go for these biodegradable diapers but they just don't hold a candle to Huggies. Have huge shipments coming in from Amazon as we speak lol.
Originally Posted By FarmersSon⏩
We've been done with diapers for a few years, but we tried a bunch over the years.My sister used cloth diapers with her kids.

For us, nothing compared to the terrible-for-the-environment plastic disposable diapers. Huggies were really good. Kirkland signature diapers were my wife's choice for price/performance. Another trick she used when kids started sleeping through the night was to use a size bigger at night because it could hold more before it leaked.
As OP is in a major city, he could use a cloth diaper service. It's just like them collecting your dry cleaning from your office; it only becomes practical and environmentally sensible when the population density is high enough.

If you can get a service to collect the hazardous materials from your home, clean them and then deliver them back nice and fresh, I would do it.

We lived too far out for it, but I would have definitely done it if I could.
Screw nature; my body will do what I DAMN WELL tell it to do!

The only dangerous thing about an exercise is the person doing it.

They had the technology to rebuild me. They made me better, stronger, faster......
post 1687676243 08-02-2023, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted By FarmersSon⏩
We've been done with diapers for a few years, but we tried a bunch over the years. My sister used cloth diapers with her kids.

For us, nothing compared to the terrible-for-the-environment plastic disposable diapers. Huggies were really good. Kirkland signature diapers were my wife's choice for price/performance. Another trick she used when kids started sleeping through the night was to use a size bigger at night because it could hold more before it leaked.
Yeah that's the sad thing - terrible for the environment, indeed. We tried Dyper (their wipes are great, the diapers awful) and will be giving the diapers away to a local midwife group that want them.
Originally Posted By DuracellBunny⏩
As OP is in a major city, he could use a cloth diaper service. It's just like them collecting your dry cleaning from your office; it only becomes practical and environmentally sensible when the population density is high enough.

If you can get a service to collect the hazardous materials from your home, clean them and then deliver them back nice and fresh, I would do it.

We lived too far out for it, but I would have definitely done it if I could.
Right - I spoke with wifey about this earlier. We are looking into these guys:https://www.diaperkind.com/
post 1687850053 08-05-2023, 07:12 PM
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TFW you take your baby girl for a walk in the neighborhood in a wrap, and *every* woman swoons.

LOL
post 1687850193 08-05-2023, 07:16 PM
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post 1687850463 08-05-2023, 07:21 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Congrats but PLEASE don’t use your child as a narcissistic extension of your giant ego.

Already getting major Golden Child vibes from your posts.

Read up on Narcissist parents and Golden Child and don’t use your child as your ego extension.
Thanks!

But a quick reality check:

Posters on this forum who claim I am a "narcissist":

Silencespeaks
FA(insert)
Wincel

Notice a trend here? You yourself are a self proclaimed narcissist. This all loops back to what I said about 'projection'.

But thanks for the congrats - nobody in the real world thinks what you three (and other trolls) keep repeating. And some of you three have accused me of "humble bragging" for stating that I'm happily married.

Now I'm happily married, with a beautiful, young healthy baby girl. A quick read of this thread shows how many other happy parents there are on this forum.
post 1687851223 08-05-2023, 07:42 PM
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post 1687851273 08-05-2023, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
You clearly have a MASSIVE ego and you clearly are planning to use your child as an extension of your ego.
Again, projection:

post 1687851773 08-05-2023, 07:57 PM
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Congrats man, good to see miscers out living and enjoying life
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post 1687852223 08-05-2023, 08:10 PM
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post 1687852343 08-05-2023, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted By JuicePro⏩
Congrats man, good to see miscers out living and enjoying life
Thanks man. Yeah it's a wild ride for sure - I can still remember her first cry, and my knowing that I'd be a great father to her
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
If you had a son you would have put that in the thread title.
If you were happily married your posts ITT would be very different. Be honest now.
post 1687853083 08-05-2023, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted By LogicalLifts⏩
Thanks!

But a quick reality check:

Posters on this forum who claim I am a "narcissist":

Silencespeaks
FA(insert)
Wincel

Notice a trend here? You yourself are a self proclaimed narcissist. This all loops back to what I said about 'projection'.

But thanks for the congrats - nobody in the real world thinks what you three (and other trolls) keep repeating. And some of you three have accused me of "humble bragging" for stating that I'm happily married.

Now I'm happily married, with a beautiful, young healthy baby girl. A quick read of this thread shows how many other happy parents there are on this forum.
what? have you seen the threads you have made?

definitely a huge ego lol.

mostly for ur threads talking down to the less fortunate.

id honestly question if anything you write about yourself is actually true. no offense
post 1687853433 08-05-2023, 08:37 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
You clearly have a MASSIVE ego and you clearly are planning to use your child as an extension of your ego.
You have to stop getting so triggered by happy families. It's a bad look. You are no expert on something that you have never experienced.
post 1687853453 08-05-2023, 08:38 PM
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