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Forum » Being a Nice Guy Gets You Nowhere
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Thread: Being a Nice Guy Gets You Nowhere

post 1693419503 11-15-2023, 01:12 PM
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Being a Nice Guy Gets You Nowhere

I've been a "nice guy" my whole life. Always putting others considerations above my own. Took me until my mid 30s to realize it gets you nowhere in life.
If you are a meek, pussy nice guy people will always take advantage of you. Not just in relationships but day to day life as well. The people that are mildly aggressive arseholes get the most respect. They get chit done and don't have to worry about people stomping all over them at every turn. It's just not in my nature to act like that.
post 1693419613 11-15-2023, 01:14 PM
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Lol at taking til middle age to figure this out
post 1693419623 11-15-2023, 01:14 PM
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huge if true
post 1693419723 11-15-2023, 01:15 PM
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I'm polite, cordial, and respectful of others, and no one takes advantage of me.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1693419773 11-15-2023, 01:16 PM
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100% true
post 1693419853 11-15-2023, 01:18 PM
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post 1693419883 11-15-2023, 01:18 PM
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post 1693419903 11-15-2023, 01:18 PM
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I explain it to people like this. There's a difference between a 'nice' guy and a 'kind' guy.

The nice guy is a simp and doesn't matter how you treat him, he will always be nice.

The kind guy starts off seeming 'nice' but his kindness is conditioned by reciprocity.

I'm a kind guy. I'm not a nice guy. There's a difference.
6'5" 210 lbs, 10.9% body fat

Disagree with me, fine; but before calling me a fraudster click: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=185252663

Bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable unto all things.
post 1693419933 11-15-2023, 01:19 PM
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Just use the excuse method. "Sorry I really wish I could but I gotta take my wife to her doctor's appointment."

If you accidentally say yes to someone out of habit, track back and use the same method. "Oh chit, I forgot I had to take my wife to her doctor's appointment that day."
post 1693419963 11-15-2023, 01:20 PM
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  1. explosiveMidget
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post 1693420263 11-15-2023, 01:24 PM
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Difference between being a nice guy and a cuck. You are a cuck.
post 1693420293 11-15-2023, 01:25 PM
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You can be kind and also take no chit
post 1693420353 11-15-2023, 01:27 PM
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post 1693420423 11-15-2023, 01:28 PM
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At least you figured it out at an early age OP . I’m too fuking stupid , and trusting people has fuked my life up .
All helping has done for me is invited toxic people into my life that want to take more.
#1 Never tell people your business.
#2 never trust anyone other than your mother.
#3 be careful who you share good news with , as you may find out that they are not your friends .

My mother has passed on , but luckily I’ve got the Misc to watch my 6
Back with my Fam
post 1693420653 11-15-2023, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted By explosiveMidget⏩
You know you can be both, right? I'm living proof of it.
It's something I need to work on.
Originally Posted By rollerball⏩
Instead of being "nice" just be polite. No need to be "nice" to people beyond the minimum level of etiquette involved in normal, everyday interactions.
I've gone through life trying to avoid confrontation as much as possible. Always making things easy for others even if it inconveniences me.
Originally Posted By PaulJerome⏩
I explain it to people like this. There's a difference between a 'nice' guy and a 'kind' guy.

The nice guy is a simp and doesn't matter how you treat him, he will always be nice.

The kind guy starts off seeming 'nice' but his kindness is conditioned by reciprocity.

I'm a kind guy. I'm not a nice guy. There's a difference.
That's a good way to go about it I think.
Originally Posted By TightHamstringz⏩
Just use the excuse method. "Sorry I really wish I could but I gotta take my wife to her doctor's appointment."

If you accidentally say yes to someone out of habit, track back and use the same method. "Oh chit, I forgot I had to take my wife to her doctor's appointment that day."
Yeah it's a hard habit to break.
post 1693420723 11-15-2023, 01:33 PM
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post 1693420843 11-15-2023, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted By explosiveMidget⏩
Exactly one of the nicest and friendliest guys I know IRL treats everyone well and you could consider him "nice" even yet if you cross the line or disrespect him you'll get your wig split open

That's the definition of an actually nice guy. He's not being nice to you out of fear but because that's just how he is.
Yes agree. people who are kind but demand respect do so out of strength, not weakness. Niceness like how OP describes comes out of weakness and a need for other people to accept you / avoid confrontation while the other comes out of strength, the nice acts come because they want to not because they have to
post 1693421133 11-15-2023, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted By Sevenlionz⏩
Yes agree. people who are kind but demand respect do so out of strength, not weakness. Niceness like how OP describes comes out of weakness and a need for other people to accept you / avoid confrontation while the other comes out of strength, the nice acts come because they want to not because they have to
That's exactly right. It is out of weakness. I guess it has a lot to do with how healthy your self esteem/confidence is. Mine is quite low.
post 1693421263 11-15-2023, 01:42 PM
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Originally Posted By dmaaack⏩
That's exactly right. It is out of weakness. I guess it has a lot to do with how healthy your self esteem/confidence is. Mine is quite low.
Well that’s great that you recognize this now srs. A lot of people go their entire lives never recognizing it and always wonder why it seems like life chits on them

So I’d suggest next step is finding out what areas cause your lower self esteem, and making it a mission to both improve those areas and your esteem about them
post 1693421403 11-15-2023, 01:44 PM
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Can you provide an example of how someone has taken advantage of you?

Do you just go along with people bullying you?
money, cars, clothes and hoes is all a miscer knows
post 1693421423 11-15-2023, 01:44 PM
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agree, being good
is great, but not always,
you need to put your self first to help others
otherwise youll end up fuked and with a wrecked ship with no one available to provide support or help.
post 1693421643 11-15-2023, 01:48 PM
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It all comes down to being honest with people and properly communicating your needs and priorities. Oftentimes that has nothing do with being nice or a c*nt
post 1693421673 11-15-2023, 01:49 PM
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Being nice? You don’t have to be nice but you should definitely be respectful towards people. They’re too different things.
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