Throwaway because my boyfriend is on Reddit. Also, please don’t post this anywhere else for safety reasons. Also, sorry in advance for all the grammar errors.

So this just happened and I honestly have no idea what the **** to do. Basically we were discussing some of the recent things in the news regarding sexual assault and it turned into a discussion about fault/accountability. The basis for his “argument” was his experiences in a fraternity (we went to a pretty large university with a big sorority/fraternity crowd and he was in a fraternity). He said that he saw girls all the time go to the boys’ rooms to do drugs/get drunk and basically said that they needed to take accountability for the fact that they were putting themselves in a bad situation (he never said that he saw someone assaulted these were just examples he gave of bad situations he “saw women put themselves in”). When I pointed out that he was literally victim blaming he got defensive and loud and tried to diffuse the situation by saying that “he just disagrees with me.” I kept pushing it and eventually he admitted that he did think it was their fault for being raped because they put themselves into that situation.

This goes very deep for me. I have no contact with my family because they are very racist and sexist and just all around horrible people. We moved in together a few years ago far away from any of the family that I do have and honesty I just don’t know if this is something that I should try to change his mind on or try to leave. He is very much against couples therapy but maybe I should try to bring it up again? I don’t know. Please help me. (Some details were changed for privacy reasons)

Link the thread *******