It is easy so long as your diet isn't retarded and consists of nothing but pop tarts and gummy bears

I am a horrible ****ing person. Today was my little sisters birthday, it is also my last day as a free man. The cops are on their way right now. As my last act before being put on death row I wish to relinquish this story onto misc, so I can die knowing at least I gave you sick ****s some lulz. So lets start from the beginning shall we?

It was a fairly normal morning. It was 1:30 when I got out of bed. I walked into the bathroom to take my meds. I'm prone to bouts of rage and sexual frustration. As I tilted my head back to down the capsules I swallowed wrong and vomited into the sink. I cursed the pills then went out to the living room. I was surprised to see balloons and party favors all over. It then occurred to me that it was my 11 year old sister Jessica's birthday. My little sisters probably having a surprise party with all her loli and shota friends after school. I'm 26 and unemployed so I'm usually home all the time. I sat down with a bowl of Fritos and watched some **** on Fuse for a while.

It was around 2:30 when my mother got home. "Micheal, come help me with these bags!" she yelled. I obliged since she'd just bitch me out if I didn't. After everything was inside she dropped the disappointment bomb. "Micheal, I want you to set up this stuff. You'll be running Jess's birthday today." "But mom!" I whined. "No buts," she said "I'm going to go take a nap." She was pretty lazy, even for a pregnant woman. I got in the van and drove up to the school. Jessica was standing outside with a group of 5 of her friends. All the little ****s climbed into the van. They were all giggling and making immature noises. "Hey aren't you Jess's gay brother?" one laughed. All the kids giggled. "Haha, yeah **** you kid" I snapped. "MICHEAL!" Jessica shouted. I just rolled my eyes and continued driving. One girl began singing some ****ty pop song. It began to make me unbearably angry. I swerved the van violently. The kids started screaming. One boy jolted forward and slammed his head into the seat. "KYLE HIT HIS HEAD!" one girl cried out "MICHEAL, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US YOU JERK!" Jessica screamed. I don't know what came over me.

As we got home the kids began crowding around the little plastic party furniture begging for food. "Alright, hold the hell on you brats!" I said angrily. I went and got the cake and set it out on the table. Grabbing my Zippo lighter from my pocket, I lit the candles. I stood back and watched as the brats began shouting for her to make a wish. As she leaned to blow them out, I spotted her pink panties coming out of her jeans. She was tempting me, that little bitch, I know she was. "BLOW IT OUT! BLOW IT OUT!" the shrill monotonous tone rang in my head. I couldn't take it anymore misc! I ran for my room. As I came back out I had donned my viking helmet and held my battle ax mightily above my head. I was naked. The sight of my hairy genitalia swinging back and forth struck fear into the children. "FOR THOR!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed to the heavens as I charged for the table. I threw my battle ax, chopping a loli in half. Her torso frailed into the air as my battle ax wedged into a wooden bookshelf. I jumped onto one of the plastic chairs, it broke under my weight. I plunged my fist into the cake and smeared it all over my cock. The soft frosting and crumbly texture made me hard. I took a candle and rammed it down my urethra. The kids were frozen with shock. I lit the candle and pushed as hard as I could. The candle rocketed out of my cock and hit a girl in the eye. The force caused me to ****. The girl screamed wildly as her eye was burned out. Her eye socket looked like the perfect hole for my dick. I jammed my cock into her eyesocket and ****ed it. She cried as her head jolted back and forth. The violent jolting snapped her neck killing her instantly. I came.

The Kyle boy started to get up to run away so I grabbed a chair and cracked him in the skull. His face landed flat in my **** and he suffocated. "THE CAKE IS A LIE!" I said flapping my cock about, shaking cum in several directions. A fat little girl was waddling over to the phone to call the police. "ITS PINATA TIME!" I yelled. I grabbed the cake knife, and with my viking prowess, backstabbed the fatty. I slid the knife upwards making a slit in her back. Her fat made it like cutting through cream cheese. I reached in and grasped her spine. With all my strength I tore out her spinal cord. I wanked some little nerdy girl over the head with it. I then set it on the floor and slowly inserted it into my rectum. The ribbed feeling gave me immense pleasure. "MAY THE THUNDER GODS BLESS ME!" I exclaimed grabbing my battle ax out of the woodwork. I cut little Suzie's legs off. This made her more ****able. Jessica vomited and passed out. I scraped up her vomit and stripped little Suzy. She was too preoccupied to resist. I smeared the barf all over her vagina. I then licked it off. The taste was god-awful. It made me throw up onto her face. She choked to death on my sick.

The commotion made my mother come out. "SWEET TOASTER ****ING JESUS!" she screamed. I ran up and FALCOOOOOOOOON PAUUUUUUNCHED her in the vagina. My arm slid all the way up to her womb. I tore the fetus out. As I pulled out a bunch of slimy goo watered out. "Hey mom want this fetus?" I asked. She was too busy violently throwing up to answer me. I raised my arm and crushed the baby in my hand. My mother was heaving blood at this point. I took the crushed fetus into the kitchen and slam-dunked it into the blender. "And now its time for cooking with Micheal!" I said like a t.v. chef. Adding an eyeball, the fat loli's liver, and Kyle's scrotum into the blender, I turned it on high. I took a sip of my smoothie. It was the most delicious culinary masterpiece in the world. I took the rest and sliding the spine out from *******, I gave myself an enema.

My sister began waking up from her concussion. As her eyes opened she awoke to the sight of my hairy ******* pointing in her face. She opened her mouth to scream, now was my time. I launched the smoothie out of my ******* along with watery, bloody ****. Her scream was muffled into a gargle. My sloppy enema shot down her throat. Her eyes were tearing up. The smell was so intense it gave her a bloody nose. I turned around and pointed my hard cock in her face. I positioned it towards her nose. With immense power I ****ed her nose at full force! The blood was an awesome lubricant. The pleasure became more intense. I came buckets right up her nose. My cum went straight into her lungs, tarring them up. As she began gasping for air I looked around the bloody smeared, **** stained room. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA!" I said smiling at her tear and enema covered face. She took one last gasp. I gazed happily upon her corpse. The only I regret is that I didn't take my pills today...

How?What the hell does that mean?

Doubling down on stupid I see

Obviously not stupid enough, since you're still struggling to comprehend wtf is going on. lmaaaaaayooooooo

get most of my protein from whey
highest bioavailability protein source (LOL at chicken and beef poverty)
whole eggs are number two, I get four a day

in after but but theres no micros (wtf do you take a multi and dha for retard)
only disadvantage is how quickly its digested

You originally stated that over consuming protein alone would lead to fat storage. Is that what you believe?

Then you say that if all things are "balances as required, it is not stored". What does that mean? What things are balanced?

For the record, I know exactly what's going on. Its simply not elementary enough for you to understand

i didn't say PROTEIN is a chemical, protein is a necessary building block of life. of course i know that you dumb mother f*ker.

i'm saying whey protein is filled with all of these artificial chemicals and other chit that your body doesn't need

learn to read mofo



look at those ingredients

artificial flavors
acesulfame potassiumis a controversial substance used for artificial sweeteners, it is 200x more sweet than sugar. "Additionally, critics of acesulfame K raise specific concerns about its potential to cause cancer and affect the early development of babies during pregnancy"
lecithin, AKA Soy protein"Most soy proteins come from genetically-modified sources with high pesticide use, and contain the chemical compound phyto-oestrogen, which may cause hormonal disturbances and suppressed thyroid function in some people."

what is dha?

We need protons, neutrons and electrons

You really need to stop talking like you know what you're talking about when you clearly don't. Lecithin is an emulsifier, and is in virtually every product you consume. It's not "aka soy protein" you mongoloid. BRB lemme reduce something down into the most basic form possible and draw an asinine, baseless comparison to it's ****ty reduced form. Like wat.

And acesulfame potassium is not "controversial" at all, it's just another "artificial" (aka corn derived) sweetener that hasn't been developed long enough to be able to determine if it has any kind of detrimental long term effect on the body, and so far, the conclusion is that it's no different than most approved and non-dangerous sweeteners.

You don't even know what 'artificial flavors' are, you just tossed it into your rant because of the word 'artificial'. You're the same kind of idiot who cries foul over the word "processed" or thinks that Kraft singles aren't real cheese made with real ingredients because it has to be called a 'cheese product' thanks to outdated Standards of Identity.

5'8

Lmfao

where'd you disappear to, little buddy? Fkn manlets I swear

Bench: 5x200lb (90kg)

"chemical substitute" lol. Sounds like your knowledge is pretty limited, better brush up on it before calling others idiots.

If you know anything about artificial sweeteners then you'd know that acesulfame potassium is clearly bad for you. You dumb m f*cker do some research. You think just because the substance is approved by the FDA it is okay to consume? You are just like the other brain dead zombies that consume these trash supplements on a daily basis because you see a swole bodybuilder in an infomercial and go "DERPPPP I WANT TOO BE JUSSS LIKE THATTTTTTTTTTT DERP DERP"

Acesulfame Potassium


https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27129676

There now exists a body of evidence, from a number of investigators, that animals chronically exposed to any of a range of LCSs - including saccharin, sucralose, acesulfame potassium, aspartame, or the combination of erythritol+aspartame - have exhibited one or more of the following conditions: increased food consumption, lower post-prandial thermogenesis, increased weight gain, greater percent body fat, decreased GLP-1 release during glucose tolerance testing, and significantly greater fasting glucose, glucose area under the curve during glucose tolerance testing, and hyperinsulinemia, compared with animals exposed to plain water or - in many cases - even to calorically-sweetened foods or liquids

Lecithin
Just lmao @ calling me out for over-simplifying things when you don't even know what Lecithin truly is. Sure, it is used as an emulsifier for foods, it also has other uses as well. On the other hand, lecithin is derived from soy which is highly estrogenic. It is also derived fromsoybean oilthat is exposed to certain pesticides that may have negative effects health. And don't even get me started about how it's derived from milk, and egg yolk products, all which are terrible for humans and are not meant for humans.


https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/4038491

Later, animals exposed to lifelong 5 or 2% soy lecithin preparations were hypoactive, had poor postural reflexes, and showed attenuated morphine analgesia. The results indicate that dietary soy lecithin preparation enrichment during development leads to behavioral and neurochemical abnormalities in the exposed offspring.

Artificial Flavors
No, I did not just "toss" it into my "rant". The reason why I have a problem with this is that the FDA approves supplement trash companies like these to be as vague as possible without describing what these chemicals truly are. Anything with the word "artificial" should be looked at cautiously.


Oh and let's not forget that Whey Protein is derived from milk products such as egg yolk, milk, and other dairy - which are derived fromconventionally raised cowsAKA non-organically and fed bullsh*t like steroids and conventional feed which is terrible for the cow and lowers its health. The milk from these cows contains heavy metals and hormones which shouldn't be consumed.


You remind me of that one nerdy ass kid in class who acts like a know-it-all because he reads wikipedia articles for fun. Get that sh*t outta here scrub

this guy is right.

he's 100% right most of those studies are even sponsored by supplement companies and and thus it's more likely that the results are going to favor the supplement industry lol.

If negging me and writing this try-hard post makes you sleep better at night, so be it.

I work in the ingredient industry and have plenty of insider knowledge and access to information that you don't.

Your opinion of me literally means nothing, just stop spreading misinformation because you're butthurt that supplement companies make bank off of marketing. You can be angry all you want, just don't be stupidly wrong.

I'm not here to debate the minutia of your points and why you're not as knowledgeable as you think you are from googling things for 30 minutes. This is my day-to-day job, I don't need to prove to you that I know what I'm talking about.

30 minutes? That took me literally 10 minutes to find...

Clearly you're not knowledgeable about any of these ingredients. Get outta here

Food works way better. I only use whey when I am on the road and have to use it to keep my protein intake high. Other than that I drink Fairlife Milk. zero lactose, 80 calories and 13 grams of protein every 8 ounces.

and here we go. lmao.. anyways

I wonder how our ancestors put on muscles without Whey Protein Powder that Cost them almost 59.99$. I mean weren't animals hard to catch in hunter/gathering societies making Protein kinda scarce? How did they go about meeting 2g per lb tho daily to keep up with environmental demands to find food...?

plants have protein you autist

got em boys, whey is a scam we all eatin plants now

GOT EM!

well maybe you need to. Not so much other people
An extra source of protein could really give you a boost you need

Eh, its very little, incomplete and not very bio-available

taking ur own advice i suppose. if i didnt have to supply u wit so much of my pure liquid thick protein i would be buff like u

his post was asking how primitive humans got enough protein

They didn't, is actually the answer. Having modern muscles isn't evolutionarily advantageous. That's why if you stop working out, or stop having proper nutrition, you'll lose your muscle in a hurry. It's hard to maintain it.

The truth is that our ancestors were probably almost a foot shorter than we are on average, and looked like twinks. I know you want to imagine everyone was running around like they came off the set of 300, but that's not reality.

wrong

Holy chit this thread is a fuk fest. Just eat whatever combination of macros that makes your body feel the best. Some people on here are jacked af and only get 100g, and some people who are jacked eat 250g. Its all up to the individual body

See belowAs I understand it, gaining access to more protein was one of the key factors in human evolution and development.