I don’t talk about it with girls online, those are fun/light messages but like I said as soon as it gets to any depth whatsoever (nothing about kids/family), or any topic they might have to think about slightly, they just ghost.

90% of my in person date is fun (hence the reason they all want a 2nd date), but I want some signal on where their life is, goals, whether they have intellectual curiosity etc. I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s gauging compatibility.

I’ve already talked about this though a few posts ago. I’m fully cognizant of the fact that I may not be maximizing matches and dates by seeking certain values sooner. Again, I see nothing wrong with that.

What about the nationality question?

If you are Indian and/or Asian, perhaps find a traditional woman from your country who isn't Americanized.

this is true but if you're truly matched I doubt the guys she's seeing are all top-tier, educated, jacked chads which is likely what you're envisioning.

Sounds like you're ok with the way you are doing it/approaching it but not with the results.

If you do what you've always done, then you get ___ ____ _____ ____.Spoiler!

WTH some chick that ghosted me over a week ago just responded as if we’d never stopped talking. The guy higher up the ladder must have pumped and dumped her

Happens ALL the time. From 2015-2016 when I came back to the US and was online dating, this happened easily over 30 times.

So, explain it to me. What's happening. Why is she scrolling back down the list and finding old messages. Attention again after the higher value guy didn't work out?

Basically yeah.

Yes.

She has options if she's even remotely attractive. She had another guy she was talking to, it didn't work out. He either pumped/dumped or he ghosted her for something he liked more (if he has a bunch of options). She looked back at her screen, saw your profile and sent a message like nothing happened. If you question her about it, you're done. If you act butt-hurt, you're done. You can either hope to meet up ASAP (in the next 48 hours most likely) or she's going to do the same thing again and you'll be in the same boat all over again.

I literally had this happen over 6 months a couple times with women. No joke, they'd text me like we just finished talking 5 seconds ago even though it was months and months later. It's crazy what someone will do when they crave attention. One chick I talked to for over a year before we even went on a date because of this exact scenario...and guess what...she was the WORST date I've ever been on. (mentioned her in my dating log from awhile back)

Yep, probably this.

If you talked to him all day and you didn't get bored with him, if this is true, then you're way beyond an attention whore.

lol don't worry, I'm not gonna say anything - I just think it's funny. Haven't responded to her yet anyway.

I'll reply with an equal effort message and expect to be ghosted again. This is what I meant about the fragility of this.

The one cute girl I did meet with, I set up the meeting within 48H because I know how it works. And she brought it up, I told her that it's better to meet in person to determine compatibility, and just said that she was happy that I acknowledged it. So ye, some women think it's weird to set up a meet quickly.

This happened to me last year with some girl I was talking to for like almost a month. Than we met for a date & she of course thought I was too quiet in person.

That doesn't make sense. If she really liked talking to one guy in particular, but kept talking to others for attention as well, that would be attention whoring.

Now that I think about, yeah what I said didn't make sense but most of the time when a guy always texts a woman 24/7 and they're not really together, she's gonna get bored with him and probably lose interest especially if he said something stupid.

Picture this...

You're sitting on the sofa on a rainy Saturday, watching TV because you're bored. So you start channel surfing. You have 200 channels to choose from, so you're sure you'll find something. On channel 37, there's a movie you like that you haven't seen in a bunch of years, so you start watching. After a few minutes, there's a commercial, so you click over to channel 38. Then 39. Then 40. All the while meaning to come back to 37 after the commercials are over, except there's a funny sitcom on channel 41, so you start watching that. When it goes to commercial, you start surfing again. Channel 42. Channel 43. Etc. You find something interesting on channel 53 and stop there for a while. There's also something on channels 76 and 112. Eventually, because of commercials, you make it up to channel 200 and then roll back to channel 1. About a half hour after you left, you're back on the movie on channel 37 and realize you had forgotten you were watching it, so you settle in to continue watching again (a half hour further along than when you left!). Except there's another commercial coming. There's always another commercial coming. As soon as it gets here, you'll start the process again. You don't really care. There was nothing on you wanted to watch. You were just bored and passing the time anyway.

In a nutshell, that's what it's like to be a woman on tinder/dating apps who is just looking to pass the time because she's bored. The conversations she has are momentary and will continue only so long as you keep her attention. If you don't, she'll wander off to start talking to a new match. And so on and so on. If she comes back after a week, it just means that she's cycled through and has "re-discovered" you and looking to see if she can pass another few minutes of boredom with you again.

It means that and nothing more. You might as well be a TV show and she might as well be sitting on a couch channel surfing.

There's two groups of people that have all the power in online dating.
1. All women.
2. Men 9+

That's why you should stick to real life unless you want your self esteem destroyed.

Mate my self esteem was destroyed IRL over a decade ago.

How many times have you tried approaching irl?

Like recently? Zero. I think my best bet is to meet new people via activities (not meetups since they're full of guys and weirdos).

I was talking about when you were in your 20s and yeah the Meetups I've been to are usually filled with more guys than women and the women there are not good looking. I think there are Meetups for Singles and speed dating though at least in my area.

Sign up for a coed softball or volleyball team. Take a yoga class. Go to line dancing at a C&W bar on ladies night. Etc. You have to go where the women are.

I disagree. When I like talking to someone, I don't get bored and lose interest. I wouldn't be texting with them all day if we didn't click. People say stupid stuff all the time. Heck, I do it, guys do it. None of us are perfect. If you like someone, unless they say stupid crap all the time, you're going to overlook it.

That's not how this generation is.

LOL, no.