Fuk am I the only one here?

I gave up on dating apps and tried it again today and matched with a few. So I decided to message one since her photo was at some hiking trail and I love hiking. Got one word answers so I figured she wasn’t even interested so didn’t bother to keep going.

Me: “Beautiful background, where was that taken”

Her: Trail

Me: oh nice I haven’t been there. Round 2? “Wink face”

Her: Lol


Did I give up too soon?

Misc. been seeing a new girl for 2 months now. Checks all the boxes for a wife. However sex is meh. I normally finish with bjs, but sometimes when in her i go soft.

I have been used to trash girls the last 7 years. Ones that I’d gladly bang but wouldn’t take around my friends.. we all know those.

Now I have a girl I’d easily take around, but don’t constantly get that urge to bang. Our relationship is more than just hooking up.

I get hard when touching her, but then during sex will go soft sometimes. I feel like I’m in my head.

I am not going to leave her due to her qualities that she checks off.

But misc, will I ever get out of the mindset of random bangs to her? She is a 10 compared to other girls I have banged.

overview:

im in a situation with a girl where theres quite a few problems.

as per the title, i feel i have two options:

-i can either call it off completely - and accept i probably wont be getting any for a while, cos of covid (im in europe where sh*t is still locked down).
-or just continue smashing and not be satisfied, and look for anything better which comes up.

I HAVE confronted her about this before - where i told her than in order to 'take things more seriously' (which, as you can imagine she's pushing for) i would need for this stuff to be fixed. but it isn't really happening.

ive made a list. the biggest con to me is the sex frequency.
whenever we are together we do it - and she's into it. ive never once been turned down for sex, which imo is an instant dealbreaker.

but the problem is we dont see each other enough to do it as much as i want, if that makes sense.

PROS:

-good chemistry together
-sex is good, when it does happen
-loving, cooks for me, eager to please generally

CONS:

-neither of us have our own place, im living at home cos i lost my job due to covid. so in order to smash we need to either do it in public, my car, or rent somewhere. parents houses are off limits.
-as per above point, renting a place (airbnb or whatnot) even x2 a week gets really expensive and isn't sustainable for the long term.

-she doesn't drive - so its a pain in the ass driving her around everywhere, and dropping her home after we've been out - fuel costs are getting really high

-the sex isn't enough. its good when we have it, but im referring to the frequency. we normally do it twice a week but sometimes its just once as renting a place is expensive. then we might do it once more in the car or something. so its on average 2x a week. when im dating a girl im used to getting it whenever i want, which is usually whenever we spend the night together. (4-5x a week)

im not used to having to curb my sex drive, and i feel like im disrespecting myself and my needs.

-she can be quite manipulative and passive aggressive, and she has lied before more than a few times.
recently it has been better but its always in the back of my mind. this is actually an aside to the points above which are a bigger deal for me right now.


do i keep going with something where im sort of getting my needs met but not really, or just end it completely.
should i bring it up to her again and clearly state that my needs aren't being met?

she wants to get more serious but as it stands, theres just no way i could

Hey Guys,

I started dating this girl in about September we both live in Canada. We dated for 3 months where everything was good. In December, she had to travel back to her home country in Europe because a loved one passed away. She had plan to stay there for 3 months and come back in March, which was long, but I understand a new boyfriend is not her priority over the loss of a close family member. Following this the Canada hotel Quarantine rule hit and you have to pay 2000 dollars to stay in a hotel upon re-entry. She has a wedding she is going to attend where she is from in July, and now its kind of unclear if she is going to just stay there until the wedding or if she will be returning (doesn't really make sense to pay for a flight back for 2 months then a flight there again and then a flight back).

She doesn't give me any kind of definite answer and when I press her about it she says there is nothing she can do/know yet. fair.


I was willing to wait it out for her, but she doesn't really recognize this as any sort of undertaking on my part. Once when it was brought it she said, my sister and her bf did long distance for the first year no big deal.

I asked her the other day because I saw it on a YouTube channel between couples, "If you had to say in this relationship, who likes the other person better." Her response with little hesitation was me. I knew the answer to it already, and she could tell it bothered me so she said don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to. This confirmation just made me doubt what am I waiting for....I could spend all this time waiting and she gets back and we break up like a couple weeks later...

Anyone had a situation similar? Advice?

INB4 Dear Diary

Can you guys put me on game as how I can get head?

1.) How do you guys usually get a girl to go down on you? I'm not talking about getting head from a gf in a relationship but rather girls that you're acquainted with and hang out with.

a.) Do the girls just go for it?
b.)Do you ask/command her " would you be down to suck the dick?"
c.) Is the conversation always sexual in nature before it happens?

From your guy's experience how does it usually happen?



For instance,

I gave my neighbor a ride home one time and she pretty much had her body facing me the whole time in the car and when I parked we just sat there talking about dating for the most part . Just from her body language and energy I felt like I could get a bj from her, especially because she was facing me the whole time but ended up just walking her upstairs and going to our separate units. What could I've done differently in this situation?

another example/scenario would be

Say I'm smoking with a girl at a view, do I start rubbing on her legs etc ?

Serious answers guys, I'm lacking in this area and I feel that I've missed a number of bj opportunities because I didn't know exactly what to do. Getting a solo bj is a bit different than getting sex and that's usually the only time I get head is right before sex with a girl I'm already hooking up with.

Okay...I'm going to give this another shot. Regulars and if anyone needs dating advice come on in.

There is only one rule:All opinions and POV's welcome, but be respectful and no personal attacks allowed. If you don't like me or my opinions, just stay the **** out.

I’ve been seeing her about 2 months - not exclusive yet - haven’t had enough 1 on 1 time. I was on call this weekend (anesthesiologist) so she flew out on Friday to be with me (she lives a few states away) for Valentine’s Day weekend. I really like her and I just want to take things slow with her as to not ruin anything. She and her boyfriend were serious - they lived together and they broke up in October, so we’re just going slow and steady.

She’s been taking a lot of videos of herself, like 4 or 5 a day that she posts to social media. She’s doing things like sipping wine and winking while looking at the camera, playing songs and singing along to camera while playing with her hair. I saw yesterday while I was in the shower she had posted a video of herself naked in my bed (you can’t see any body parts but you definitely tell she doesn’t have on clothes) again singing to the camera and then smiling and winking. She even reposted an old picture of herself with the caption, “he’s going to get all of me tonight”. She’s posting all of these videos to social media. So yea, a lot of those types of videos multiple times a day ever since she got here on Friday.

Today, I took her to a restaurant. I was checking my messages to make sure I didn’t have to go in. I see that she posted a picture of me sitting across from her but she put a very large heart emoji over my face. It was so large that all you can see are my arms and my hands.

Why would she post a picture of me just to cover my face with a large emoji?

Would you next? Just seems like a big time waster.....I feel like deleting and moving on.

Lads. Bi$hes ain’t loyal still. Probably never will be. Was talking to this girl for the past couple of weeks. She was flirting like crazy. Yesterday she even sent me a revealing photo. Today during the convo, I asked how long she’s been single for and she tells me she’s in a “serious and committed relationship” lol. Gave me some lame a$$ excuse and then I straight up blocked her. Felt bad for the guy cause I know what that’s like. But damn... it just gets worse and worse, doesn’t it?

So dated around and still miss my ex from 6 years ago as no one compared to her. Maybe I’m just lonely right now since I’ve been on a dry spell But yeah this sucks.

Today I had to work in her old area and took a trip down memory lane where she used to live and literally passed by all the supermarkets we went to and all the food trips.

Damn all I can think of was how I had it made with her. Cuddling on a cold night and all that intimate sex then going to get food after at her local McDonald’s sipping on my favorite fountain coke. It me think about her all over again even though i thought I was over her years ago

I’ve been seeing a chick for a few months, nice girl, works out goes to the gym and looks good. She’s always seemed a bit random in the things she sometimes says and a bit shy at times.

Last week she told me she is on the autism spectrum. I wouldn’t have really known unless she told me I would’ve just thought she’s a bit random. She’s just finishing university and is planning on opening a gym and being a PT.

I don’t want to end something because she told me she is on the spectrum but I also feel as if I may be taking advantage of someone. Anyone have experience on this?

I know this is probably the worst place to ask this type of question.

Please respect srs tag.

I'm back for the holidays, I live abroad so don't have my own place - she's younger than me and doesn't either.

So because of this we usually rent airbnbs once a week or so

Earlier this week one of our airbnbs cancelled, so we've only slept together once in 7 days (with no mention of the next time either) - and she seems cool with that, for me that isn't enough

She asks me to do stuff like go for walks or whatever (all we really can do cos of covid) but for me it always feels really forced to smash in a car or outside - and when thats the only option it puts a lot of pressure on.

She suggested getting a place on NYE to spend that night together. Last time was 20th so thats 11 days (would have been less but the other place got cancelled)

I said to her last night I assumed we'd be getting somewhere sooner than nye and she said she was fine with that and wants to- but my point is she never brought it up.

She replied I just assumed you'd be busy and didn't know when you were free (she never asked me)

I asked her how it worked with her ex, who also lived with his parents, and she said she slept over every time she saw him lol - so like 3x a week- which is normal to me

I'd expect her to be telling me to come over my parents aren't home, or literally saying I want you to fuq me tonight at (insert place) or at the very least take some initiative in getting a place booked we can stay at - which she isn't doing.

I'm seriously considering calling it off before it gets more serious

When we do have sex its good - but im getting a bit tired of this whole we need to get an airbnb to smash, and especially when she never suggests it herself

She's also expecting exclusivity - and as it stands it just isn't going to work for me. Not sure how any girl in their right mind can expect a guy to be solely with them in this situation

Cliffs:
-Me and girl live with parents
-We rent airbnbs to smash 1/2x a week
-Its currently been 1 week and we haven't smashed

-Granted one of our places got cancelled which was not in our hands, but she seems totally ok with the lack of sex

-She doesn't seem to take initiative in terms of getting us places to stay, or even meeting up, expects me to tell her when I'm free/set up dates all the time

-Feel like I'm not getting my needs met and don't always want to be the one setting up places to stay

-Considering ending this within the next week

-Any advice/things to mention to her before I flat out tell her it isn't gonna work?

I recently met up with this guy. We’ve been taking for awhile and he thinks I’m his girlfriend. I’m not. I’ve been letting him think I am but in reality my friend and I laugh about him. She thinks he’s gross and creepy and weird looking. She knows I’ve been talking to him but she doesn’t know I met him or especially that I had sex with him 4 times. I went down on him and he also went down on me. I even kissed him. I’m not his girlfriend. He told someone he knows we had sex and that makes me mad because I didn’t want anyone to know so I’m going to deny it. What’s he going to think when I say in front of everyone “I’m not your girlfriend, you really think you could have a girl like me? Please.” He won’t know what to think. He is creepy and everyone thinks so. He was a virgin when we had sex. He thinks he’s something. He is gross and he could never have me. And when I say gross I mean gross and he is creepy. They always say any woman that would be with him is crazy. How should I go about denying this? He couldn’t say anything in his defense

Btw I’m not 50 I’m early 20s

Girl I've been seeing recently.

In fairness I was really sleep deprived. We stayed together for 2 nights, and i only managed to get semi hard like twice

The rest of the time I would go soft or nothing would happen full stop

There were multiple times where she was literally sukking me off and nothing would happen. I would feel aroused but that's it. Another time I thought right emergency measures - I started jacking off then I put it inside her and went soft.

Was incredibly embarrassing for me, I spoke to her about it after and naturally she thought it was her like I didn't find her attractive or something - and I clarified i was just really tired

But the truth is I've been very tired before with girls and I've still been able to get hard, at least hard enough to put it in, and once that happens I'll usually make up the rest pretty quickly

For it to happen consecutively over a 2 day break (happened like 5 times) was just a massive blow to my ego and I feel like sh*t

Not really sure how to fix this problem other than making sure I sleep really well before I see her again. I'm even taking zinc, vit d and a multi - to no avail

I was horny af around her - i wanted to fuk her all the time - I just couldn't get it up

This is the first time this has happened consistently over a period. Need some serious input because if it happens next time I see her (scheduled for around 1 week from now) I'm thinking about breaking it off - purely to further protect my ego fully srs

I couldn't keep seeing a girl that my dick doesn't work for its embarrassing af

To make matters worse this is someone who i don't actually want to date seriously - we have really good sexual chemistry (up until this episode) and that was the main thing I was in this for.

I ate her out/fingered her a load of times (and she came every time) but just feel like a bit of a cuck when I'm not getting my own needs met, but it isn't even her fault.

Been speaking to some chick and have arranged to meet up Friday. Yesterday she hits me with “my mum is ill she has to have a covid test” then tells me if they don’t get results tomorrow she’s going to have to cancel. (She’s expecting a 24 hour covid test result when they’re expected to take 3 days minimum) I think she’s lying and has other plans and is keeping me on the backburner. If she cancels I’m looking to just get rid of her....or am I being a bit too harsh? All seems a bit too convenient to not meet up and she’s just putting the wheels in motion to cancel lol.

Feels bad. Things have been gojng really well but she has an ex that she keeps around. It was exactly a year ago today she broke up with me for one day and slept with him. I almost went after the guy over it but after a lot of crying and craziness we moved passed it. She slowly started playing online games with him and even joined a private group chat with him and his friends. I was like what is next gojng out with them. Well now it’s happened. They are having a Christmas party /birthday party Friday and I’m not invited. Of course I blew up over it but she is the type to go through your phone and look for petty stuff to justify it. Now she is gojng to the party single and I feel it’s to try to get back with him and maybe it’s a. Who thing but I don’t see how I could get back with her after this abs she is telling me to die and burn in hell. We have been super close too.

Wife and I have been married for 3.5 years.

Outside of lifting weights, I also play hockey two nights per week on two different adult rec teams. The leagues are non-contact. A friend of mine who was at our house last Sunday and who I played hockey with on Monday night just told me he tested positive for COVID. A few months ago another teammate tested positive for COVID. I went and got a test the day I found out and tested negative. I'm now trying to get tested again. Outside of hockey, both our workplaces have had positive COVID cases.

Wife asked me to stop going to hockey and I said I wouldn't stop. I love playing hockey and don't see that it is any more of a risk than leaving the house and going into the office. Wife is now pissed and is talking about how I care more about playing hockey than about exposing her to COVID-19 risk. That isn't true and I understand I am taking a risk but try to do what I can to minimize the risk. To me, anytime either one of us leaves our house and are around others were are taking a risk. Keep in mind, we both go into our respective offices for work voluntarily (both our offices are allowing remote work) and just today she went and sat in a public coffee shop for several hours without a mask.

Am I wrong here? Should I agree to stop playing hockey?

The faster he gets banned, the less he can spam.

It's always a completely new account.
Mentions how he can't get over his ex or his oneitis.
Do NOT reply and give this troll his attention that he seeks and make sure you report him instead.

All of my friends have their s/o and newborns while I’m still here with no one. Even my siblings have their s/o

Pretty sad to be going another year without one and makes me wish I stayed with the last one two years ago.


What are you guys going to be doing? Truly miss shopping with someone and enjoying the holiday spirit

This is sandman. A little backstory on this cretin, for your reading pleasure.

All statements were made by himself in various threads using his original account, when he let his guard down because he thought no-one was paying attention.

After reading this, I think we can make sense of what we're up against here. Someone more pathetic than anyone could have envisaged.

Cheers boys. And cheers to you sandman, you gave me a laugh tonight.

---------

26yrs old
Australian
Accountant
Doesn’t have many friends or family
Lives in a small town
Lonely
His mum thinks his ex was trash
Admits his life is meaningless
Receding hairline
Earns a terrible salary
Hobbies: gym, youtube, obsessively stalking his ex, trying and failing to bang tinder girls, gambling, soccer, skateboard, shopping
Self admittedly looks like sh*t
Has burned through 20-30k on gambling and prostitutes
Has low test confirmed by bloods
Feels disgusted by eating pussy
Feels like crying every day
Is horny all the time
Wishes he lived at the gym
Struggles with life purpose

it's the only way he's gonna stop posting

- 5'6, pale, balding, ugly.
- I looksmax of course, go to the gym 4-5 x a week do cardio on off days
- Take supplements Collagen, SPF 50 etc

But all this is compensating, from an early age i realised that most women found me ugly

and to top it all off i had severe social anxiety for a long time. I'm better socially but as you can see

itt's been years and i still think of my ex who i dated for 6-7 months i don't want to forget her and i don't think ill ever get the same chance again what can i do?

I’ve been dating this guy for about 8/9 months. We’re 9 years apart and I don’t notice the age difference. We get along like a house on fire, always laughing together. He tells me regularly ‘I laugh so much with you’, I know his friends, his family know about me but we haven’t been able to meet due to Covid. He used to call his parents every Sunday but since we’ve been dating, it’s become less and less. To me this is also a sign of being in a relationship with someone. We normally see each other a few times a week, sometimes less or more depending on our schedule. He invites me to all the 'big' things in his life, for example, we were going to go to his medical ball together (he would've been seen with me in front of other girls if there is anything nefarious). When we drive or hangout in different areas together, he likes to look up the prices of houses. He's also said in front of me how cute kids are and that he can't wait to do that one day. Signs to me he's testing my reaction and seeing if I want that as well.

A few months into dating, he asked to make sure that we’re not seeing other people. He isn’t into casual sex and I think exclusivity is important to him. A few months ago I was anxious about what we were - he hadn’t asked me to be his girlfriend and I thought this is something that he would’ve wanted to do. He’s traditional, wanting something serious such as marriage/family. We had a few talks about the direction of our relationship, he said there were a few things he was a bit concerned about, a few things we maybe didn’t have in common (he’s very risk-averse and overthinks everything). His concerns were things like ‘I like anime and you don’t’ ‘I like fiction books and you don’t’

He’s studying so after that conversation he said he would decide at the end of his exams, his exams have finished now. He went away recently with some of his University friends, he was unsure of whether to go (seemed like he wanted to be with me, haha) and wanted to see me before he left. I’ve felt good about everything between us post-exams as I had a feeling he was going to slowly contact me less and less and try and see me less - due to his uncertainty.

One night on the phone, I told him that I wasn’t quite sure whether continuing to have sex with him was a wise idea as we aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend. He was confused that I said it was casual. I said ‘well, we aren’t in a relationship’ and he said ‘you are my girlfriend’ I’m certain he went onto say ’I thought we’ve known this since we started dating’ so I then asked him ‘well if I was to meet a new friend of yours that I haven’t met, would you introduce me as your girlfriend? And he said yes. Unfortunately, he has to repeat his exams so I may not be able to see him for a while, I do need to clarify that he actually meant this.

I just wonder why he had this hesitancy a few times when we had the discussion a few months back though? There was even a point where I suggested we should end things because he wasn't so sure and he agreed. Maybe this is natural though and a reflection of his risk-averse attitude about things. There were just some uncertainties on his part. He said he could've been overthinking it. As a result, it sort of made me more anxious and I suggested we should end it.

We were the other day asking to see me and said it’ll be good to have a proper chat about things as we’ve both been putting things off, as so he said.

I got to his house, he said yes I have been his girlfriend all along and he doesn't know why I would think otherwise. He said that he feels it’s not going to work because of our age gap and he claims we're very different people. I personally do not see this as I feel like we share the same values, we're compatible in a lot of areas etc. He told me that he finds me beautiful, loves my sense of humour and that we get along and have fun together. I did mention that we handle conflict differently but our only arguments have been over text/call and since that's such a poor form of communication - it's hard to tell. He said he could continue seeing me but he has these concerns. I asked him if there was anyone else in the picture and he sort of laughed and said he barely has time for me, let alone another person. I felt it was a genuine, honest response.

He started to cry (this is the most emotion I've seen from him), saying he won't be able to cook me any more dinners and our memories shared together. He then went back and forth and said he doesn't know if he's making the right decision, that he will never find someone like me, I am out of his league etc. He said maybe he's just one big idiot after all and he's made a stupid decision. I was calm in my response and he said "why don't you get angry? this is making it more difficult" in a somewhat cute way. He just kept saying that lately everything has been solidified in his brain that it's probably the most responsible decision. He asked me if I thought he was being unreasonable.

Now I feel like since we've been arguing quite a bit the past few weeks and he's been stressed, possibly his decision is skewed. I hadn't seen him in 2 or 3 weeks due to exams and I asked whether maybe we just got cold feet because of us not seeing each other. I remember months ago he said he sometimes questions us in absence.

We spent over 4 hours talking and it was like he didn't want me to leave nor did I. He then asked if we should go to dinner together. He finally walked me to my car and he couldn't stop crying.

Something in me decided to message him the other morning after I left:

Me - Morning 😊 I don’t know if messaging you is the best idea, but I hope you haven’t woken up too sad. If you ever want to catch up on neutral grounds, a coffee or lunch, don’t hesitate - I still consider you a friend. Even under these circumstances, it was nice to see you last night and I am saddened I won’t be able to have more of them with you. That’s all ❤️

Him - Morning! I was in two minds as to whether to message you with the same sentiment 😅 I feel very much the same. Like you say it’s always nice seeing you, and it’s hard for me to think we won’t be sharing more moments together. I really hope you’re feeling ok today ❤️ Enjoy the rest of your weekend 😊

Me - Aw, well if you’re keen to catch up in a week to come or a few months, let me know. I’m trying to not make this any harder for us but it is difficult. I didn’t react with anger because that’s genuinely not how I feel about us. I miss you, enjoy your morning eggs ❤️

Him - Will do ❤️ miss you too, at least you can have your eggs with olive oil today 😅

Me - These thoughts are best discussed in person but I’m not sure if that can happen and they’re weighing heavy on me. I do think we could work through the issues as I feel there are more positives than negatives. I am aware that the past few weeks have been pretty nasty for the both of us but I’ve been particularly harsh on you. If I don’t hear back from you, I will, of course, assume you do not feel the same way and will accept your decision.

Him - I thought I did explain that although the last month or so has been really difficult, it hasn’t been the main reason why I reached the decision I did. Of course, I’m always really happy to talk to you about anything though, so if you still want to talk things through naturally I’m happy to do that 😊

He went onto say that he hates that he's upset me and that it's all really difficult for him but he *thinks* it's all for the best.

I asked that if we decide to have a chat, when is he free as he is starting a new job (again, could be a reason for the breakup) next week. He told me and then I've left the conversation at that.

I got in contact again and then I said I would like to see him again, he said let’s catch up next week. I’ve left the conversation there and will see if he follows up next week.

I know I should have probably never contacted him again but I just had this gut feeling to do so. I guess I only know him and I've been the one in the relationship with him.

What are your thoughts?

**TL;DR** 8 months into dating, he finally broke the news to me that we should end what we have based on our age gap and some differences. I have a feeling it could also be because he’s starting his new job as a doctor (admittedly stressful)

I live in a weird location where there’s 8 miles of sea that separates me and a huge city so whenever I’m on dating apps of course I’m going to search outside of 8 miles but quite often I get girls from across the sea. Unfortunately if you want to get there it takes over an hour depending on traffic. Could a relationship be maintained given there is an hour at the absolute bare minimum distance?

Ill try to keep it short and not relay every detail but here are the basics.

-We've been together 6 years, getting married in April, she's 32 I'm 35
-Gym/diet was a big part of our lives when we met, that hasn't changed on my end, she has been steadily less and less interested over the years.
-She knows it, jokes about it in a self deprecating way but doesn't do enough to change it.
-She'll meal prep for the week then end up eating out instead and has no (by my standards TBH) discipline.
-Goes to the gym now only "because I make her" (at least that's the "joke" she puts on in front of friends) and half-asses it while there.
-Has declined my efforts for us to train together and gets upset when I make suggestions.
-Gets upset when I bring it up or make a comment on her meal choice (rarely) or eating habits...again rarely.
-Literally despises physical activity now and makes fun of me in front of other people when the subject comes up...happened last weekend and I got pissed...but she was "just joking"
-I'm realizing that I'm losing attraction/desire and I'm not really interested in sex with her (mentally and physically). It wasn't always this way.
-I'm just as turned off by her lack of care/lack of interest/outlook on the subject as I am in seeing the weight gain on her.
-I'm starting to build a "wall" due to these differences that seem to be getting larger.

She knows she's gained the weight and she knows how I feel about it....we have talked about it before (which is another point of frustration...the fact that she's aware and doesn't care enough to change it)...but not to the extent that I've let her know it's starting to affect how I feel towards her because this is relatively new.

Everything else, literally everything is great.