I've been casually seeing a girl for the past few months. Over time it became clear that she isn't LTR material but it's been fun sleeping with her and hang out so I've kept her around. But I didn't want to fake the future with her so I told her honestly how I can't see myself being serious with her, this will end eventually, etc.

In return, it seems that she's been talking to other backup guys she has had, ex-FWB guys, and even met up with some behind my back recently. Initially we had agreement that we would be sexually exclusive but now she says to me "we're just dating so you can't control me like that", "you're not my boyfriend".

I've been hesitating to end it because I don't have any other girl I'm interested in pursuing yet. I have matches on dating apps I'm chatting with but I haven't gone on any dates with any so who knows how those first dates will go, I might enter a dry spell, and might experience more of the downside than her from this ending . Like most attractive girls, they are truly never single and she has backups that she's interested in, other guys she's been talking to, and past FWBs to hop onto immediately.

The best case scenario would be that I find a replacement with actual relationship potential before I cut it off with this current one, but the issue is that, this girl is starting to hang out and sleep with other guys which bothers me. I don't want to be sharing a girl as a my personal preference/boundary.

It frustrates me that almost everyone is in a relationship but I'm not.

She just broke up after 6 years. like we've had plenty of fights but always made up and kept it going.

6 years of the most amazing times, some absolutely terrible times, and everything in-between. 6 years of riding the BPD rollercoaster.

We were perfect together. Codependent AF but we were just so fcuking good together. Neither of us went out with friends much or were social. We just went out and did so much fun shiet together. We were legit a great match. Toxic AF at times, but toxic together I guess. Neither of us were perfect.

After enough of her episodes I just had enough, I wished we would break up and have her leave me alone. I couldnt deal with it anymore and didnt want to have to deal with the same crazy shiet over and over for the rest of my life. This was like 1-4 years into the relationship. I tried to break up a couple of times but she was obsessed and always fought for me. I thought I was stuck, and there were bad fights where I wish she would find a new victim, there were times where I thought I should go full beta so she naturally loses attraction. We always got back together though and rode the rollercoaster back up.

We had a big fight like 2 years ago. She lets some srs bombs go when she's mad, so I shot back and told her I never wanted to get married and dont want to have kids. This fcuked her up big time and she never got over it.

I've been working 60+ hrs for the last year straight. I'm physically and mentally drained when I get out. I havent been a good BF the last year. Just super comfortable and was coasting. Over the last year, she's been complaining here and there that this relationship isn't progressing like it should. That she needs to have atleast 1 kid and be married. The last year has just been a blur to me, just so much work and stress. Looking back now I realize that I was a piece of shiet person.

A week or two ago I guess she had enough and said she's done for good now. She said she's tired of waiting for me. I was like OK, here we go again. We go through the fighting routine, packing all my shiet up, both of us sending paragraphs, no contact, etc. She sent me shiet about how she's not handling the breakup well. That she has barley eaten any food the last couple days cuz I used to mention her weight... that she feels fcuked up at work and can barley work, etc. Just so much building up inside of her.

No contact for a week. Then she calls me today asking me to drop off a couple of her things that I have. I start talking to her normally, she says "Do you think this breakup is a joke? I'm serious, I FCUKED somebody else yesterday"

Dropped that bomb. At first I didn't even care. Partially not surprised, partially pissed that couldn't just move on without telling me that shiet, partially relived that I don't have to think about possibly getting back with her anymore... dont have to think making things work like we always did. Finally got what I wanted, free from her. I stopped giving 100% in the relationship years ago due to the BPD ****, but at the same time was codependent and cared alot.

But now it's fcuking me up boyos. It's so frustrating because I actually cared so fcuking much about her (despite wishing I never met her when she had srs episodes. You guys would be shocked if I went in detail what those episodes were like.) I could see this legit pure, good person she was deep down inside... I could see that she wanted to be that person all the time. I wanted to help her be that person I saw inside. But sometimes the switch would flip and it's like a demon took over her. After the episode she would feel like absolute shiet, would be just so upset with herself. It ****ing killed me man, seeing her afterwards wishing so bad that she didnt lose it like that. Like I wanted to save her. I wanted to help her be the person I saw deep inside. I kinda learned how to ride the storm out and help her come back to her senses. She was 18 when we met, and she's matured alot over the last 6 years. The episodes became ALOT less frequent over the years, almost down to none the last year or so. But the trauma it put me through made me always think she could flip the switch at anytime. I know it's a serious diseases with no cure. It's brutal. I could see the episode boiling and waiting to surface during the break up. I couldnt do shiet this time though. I dropped off the stuff she wanted. I was just going to drop it off in front of her door, knock and leave. But she opened the door before I could knock and she said hello... in her post bpd episode tone and mood. I didnt say a word, I didnt even look at her. Just dropped her stuff turned around and left. I didnt want to drop her **** off but didnt want her making a scene at my place so whatever.

It legit kills me inside because we talked about BPD like 3 years go. She had no idea what it was. She ended up doing some research and had a little break down because she realized that's 100% what she has. I told her you cant self diagnose, that I cant diagnose her, and urged her to see a specialist but that didnt happen. I know they have treatments that can help out. Seeing her cry so much because she realized what she is destroyed me. Hearing her cry and say "I just want to be normal... I dont want to be like this" was brutal. I tried to save someone you cant save. Now it's fcuking me up because she was pretty chill the last year or so things were looking pretty smooth and stable in my mind, alot better than the first couple of years.

She's 8 years younger than me, has 38DDD tits, treated me like a king, did everything for me, and put up with a lot of my own shiet (she was getting fat though which really ruined my physical attraction to her). She was obsessed. I can admit that alot of the pain is knowing that I probably won't find anyone like here again. And that's in a good/bad way at the same time. Built up such a tolerance to this drug and feel like I'll be chasing the dragon now.

Now I feel fcuked up. IDK if I was fcuked up going into this relationship, or if I grew my own issues dealing with her. This bpd rollercoaster became my life, it's all I know now and I'm dealing with the shock / withdrawal. There hasnt been an episode in a while, so I got used to the smooth sailing. I keep bouncing back and forth between relief / withdrawal. Idk if I'm going to be able to have a normal relationship now. Idk how long it's going to take before I'm ready or capable of even dating again. She was my person, we did so much fcukign shiet together its crazy. I used to be social af back in the day but dont have friends now, no social media, etc. I'm motivated to get my **** together and bounce back, but at the same time feel like my tour is over. She liked me and put up with me to a fault, so much that I got way too complacent and got used to being a piece of shiet that would be updatable for any other girl.. It's going to take alot of work for me to get back to normal.

Idk if anyone is actually going to read this but I need to vent and let this out, dont have anyone I can really tell all of this to.

Met this gorgeous attorney girl. She checked off everything I was looking for. Things were going so good. Had our second date Friday night and it went really good.
Today she told me she’s dealing with personal stuff having to do with a previous relationship and that she’s not ready to date, but that I’m a really handsome, smart, funny, etc. guy and that we can be friends. I basically said no to the friendship and wished her luck.

I’m absolutely shattered, misc. it’s been 9 years since I’ve been this broken. Not even my divorce had me like this (mainly cause I initiated that). obviously going NC and going to focus on myself just like I have for a while. This feeling is the worst

A bit of a rant. I'm not sure if this is a product of feminism where women are trying to be the providers or just mental illness. I've known of several women who do this. They will be dating a guy that has a home, career, lives a normal life, no addictions or problems, and will want them but she never gets really serious. Then they meet dudes that if they are employed it sketchy or they don't make good money, have only worked that job a short time, can't explain why they are broke, "self-employed" or just flat out unemployed. If he has someplace he rents and is probably on the verge of being evicted, lives with a relative, has roomates, or even living in a hotel. He likes to party and drinks, but turns out he's a drunk/acloholic or has a drug problem. Owes back child support, no credit. Those guys they will commit to, let him move in, then he wrecks her and ends up with some other sloot that also loves losers.

The other night I was talking to my FWB. Known her a long time, she was my ex's best friend. I told her I liked her, would like more but know it can't happen and she asked why and I told her it's because she likes losers and could never be serious with me. She said that's not true then I basically asked why she hasn't put any effort into turning it into more. She couldn't answer. Last BF she had, she had to evict him. He moved in with her, never helped pay for anything, ended up losing his job, had a drinking problem, and when they broke up he refused to leave and even used squatters rights to stay there until she had him served. Last few BF's before him it was a similar story. I told her she should question her life that she didn't see that coming, when its a pattern. Another girl I was talking to, found out her ex-bf was one of these losers and I lost interest.

TL;DR

Like old exes from 5-10 years ago do you have a conversation with them if you run into them at a store or function?

The worse date I've been is with the biggest douchey guy that I've ever met on my life.

He just keep on staring at the girl right in front of me . Saying how hot she is and why is she with that ugly guy. At the end of date , he didn't see anything that he did wrong. A total douchey.







__________________________________________________ ___________________________
I am not 52 not sure why is stating that as my age. I am 29

Cliffs:

-new gf of 3 months
-she has been cheated on in previous relationships
-decides to use the opportunity of me being sick to go through my whatsapp in bed next to me
-i see her and call her out
-she cries and tells me she loves me
-i say we will talk about it when im better
-i feel like i can't trust her if she pulls stuff like this when im in such a compromised position
-i planned a trip to thailand in Jan with her and im not sure now if she does stuff like this


story
-known her for about 3 months
-she has a few red flags, but i decided to play it out an see how it goes

-good things about her - seems loyal, loving, caring, feminine, not woke, attractive, in good shape, our life goals match up, and she works in the same field as me

-red flags being - bad relationship with family, has been cheated on before, and also claimed one of her EX's raped her. also she is super clingy which is annoying at times.

so with that out that way,
she now and then notices girls messages coming up on my whatsapp. These are from girls who ive no romantic interest in. I had known them before and am just shooting the sh*t with. She has never actively said dont do that or she doesn't like it. She thinks that i like them, or that I'm interested in them - which I'm not. We spoke about it around 1 month ago, and that was that. If she actually said, please stop talking to them i dont like it - it would be a different issue entirely. But she seemed ok when i cleared up that i wasn't interested in them whatsoever.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago - we planned a trip to Thailand in January (we live pretty close to there anyway, so it's not the massive excursion you might think). But its still a trip nonetheless so I've kind of invested in that now, just bear in mind.

Skip forward another week. I got sick a few days ago. Like really, bedbound sick. Turns out i have simultaneous tonsilitis and sinusitis. Like anyone would, I told her this and asked do you mind to come over and help me with house stuff and cook a few meals for me, which ofc she did. She has been coming and going the past 3 days taking care of me, which is nice (but also what i'd expect from a decent GF so im not offering her extra points for it - i'd do the same for her as a matter of course).

So here's the kicker.

last night after dinner we were in bed (trying to keep some distance as i dont want to make her sick). Watching a film on my laptop, and suddenly i felt really crap and tired. so i just turned over and laid down and shut my eyes whlie the film continued to play.

After about 3 minutes, i heard her making keyboard noises. I figured she was googling something. But then i thought why wouldn't she use her phone for that. So i quickly turned over and she was going through my whatsapp chats (keyboard i dont know what she was doing) but yeah just scrolling. She quickly clicked off whatsapp when she realised i saw

I said what are you going through my whatsapp for - and she immediately apologised. Im like yeah, but why. I stayed calm throughtout this cos im sick and literally have 0 energy. I was more just surprised and dissapointed.

her reasons:

-i was suspicious that you were interested in the girls who text you or that they are your ex gf
-ive been cheated on in the past and i saw him text other girls and get tinder messages from girls
-brings up some rape story from the same guy (not sure how it's relevant)

i said to her, even if that was true, you can't go through my stuff. we should sit and talk about it like adults. OFC she had nothing to say to this. just that she was sorry. I then asked her how would she feel if she caught me going through her stuff and what would she do. she ofc said she'd feel bad. she said there was no excuse for what she did (despite making excuses).

i also said that even if you have had issues with guys in the past cheating on you, you can't bring that into new relationships. that isn't my fault or problem. and this distrust and suspicion is gonna cause issues.

I then asked her can you show me your phone please. she immediately handed it to me, but i waved it away. I said i didn't actually want to see it, was just interested to know if you'd show me. i reinstated that some things are people's private space and you can't go through them without their consent. Phones are one of them.

then she tells me the loves me (first time). I'm like wtf, this is a really bad time to say this. I didn't say it back.
i say how can you tell me you love me if you just did this. shes like yeah i know it doesn't make sense but bla blah blah.

Anyway - i tell her we will talk about it when im well again because i dont have energy. But I am disappointed.

this was made 10x worse in my mind btw, that she did this when i was sick.

she's currrently texting me like normal but i really dont wanna talk to her atm.
What should I do?

I get matched with them and I don't wanna meet them or speak to them. There's no excitement or urgency in wanting to meet them.

She is really my physical type, she's affectionate, and the sex is amazing. I really enjoy the physical side with her and want to spend more time with her for this. She's also fun to go to bars with, go camping, and just hang out with.

But she isn't marriage material due to various red flags, particularly her relationship history/high body count, other promiscuous things she has done partying all the time in the past, etc. She is already placed in the hookup/casual bucket for me.

I know that she talks to multiple guys including some exes but I do want to keep her around for casual fun. I also know a guy she seems to really like is coming into town next month for like a week. I don't know what history they have together.

This isn't my first time having a FWB but I do particularly like this girl more than I've liked other FWBs. I feel a bit territorial, not a jealousy thing. It's a bit disgusting to have her spend a week with some other guy and sleep around with others guzzling cum then I see her afterwards.

Should I lay down some rules at this point even though I only want to keep it casual? We've been seeing each other for 2 months so far

Hope everyone is doing well. I can only hope some of the OG posters are doing better these days, but I can see many people are still.... down bad as they say. Deciding to keep this kind of short but here it is. At 31 I think some people can do everything wrong and get dates/relationships/sex fairly easily, and some people can do everything right while seemingly making zero progress. There's a considerable amount that is simply out of our control in life. Your face, height, race/ethnicity, perceptions and beliefs of people in your area, and etc. All this plays in. Figure out what type of women like you and try to insert yourself around them . I cannot stress this. You throw a guy from Vermont in rural Alabama ? Alot of women may not like him for a variety of reasons, even if he hasnt done anything wrong. The human brain...the ghost in the machine if you will drives so much of our behavior. and sometimes language may not even be fit to describe it For me ? I got it down to kinda quirky/alternative chicks or women with conservative views on dating/family (immigrants 1st or 2nd Gen). Like 60% of the time, 100% of the time these women start throwing out overt signals. Its hard to explain but I can immediately pick up on their vibe and notice they are usually relaxed and inviting me to flirt.

That said widening my social circle, just being friendly to everyone and vastly working on my communication has helped out. I'm not sure if my status due to self-improvement is the key here, or maybe women are getting older and its what many in the misc would call "beta bux time" (Ie : women dropping standards and looking for stability). But seriously communication is key. Read the room. Understand everyone has cognitive bias and neural pathways that determine how they will feel about you doing/saying X. So many men cockblock themselves from not being socially aware. You may not agree, or think its stupid, but thats the game.

I don't think I'll ever get married, but I'm at least at a point where I can get dates / sex without a disheartening amount of work. I still feel sometimes I do worse or get less attention than many men I know personally that seemingly "do everything wrong", but I guess that's life. Example a lot of my gamer friends are some of the most depressing, lazy, defeatist men I've ever met in my life. Like even playing video games or partying with them is a drag. Yet magically many have secured cute to attractive wives or girlfriends. Or some associates that just want to get high all the time, bum money from people, and couch surf...but they are 6'2 or have good looking faces. They never have issues....ever. Like women fighting over them (inb4 those are low quality women) Or dating app experiments with male friends that do well. With their photos ? You can't say anything wrong to women. They use my photos or any other HWP guys that do terribly ? They can't even get women to entertain conversations. So being the third wheel or just kinda watching people for years has kind of made me feel like "personality" matters, but...I dont think it matters to the extent of explaining someone seemingly getting rejected non stop.

That is a bit of a hard pill to swallow, but that simply is what it is. Theres so much out of our power that we cannot control and hyper focusing on it is simply not conducive to your mental vibes. Like just in general across the board. This game of life is weird. To all my USA bros specifically. Stay in the gym, career grind, and stay hopeful. We're all gonna make it. I'm a lot happier these days and I wish everyone the same.

Me: What's your schedule like for the rest of the month? Let's meet for coffee

Her: I can't meet up yet, I don't do meet ups just yet hahah

Me: why?


Her: I'm just not used to meeting up with people and just not ready for that. That's all.

Me: No worries

Her: [Irrelevant smiling dog gif]

Me:When you're ready, give me a text. Cos I don't wanna invest in something which isn't actually going anywhere. Just being honest.

Her; You know what, I have no idea when will I be ready.. Just to be fair and honest, I'm not really looking into relationships or anything ar the moment, I don't want to waste your time any further so I think it's better to stop this chatting thing but let me tell you, in a short period of time I enjoyed our conversation. Thank you for your timewish you all the best!

Me:
Sure, all the best.

--------

Is this normal nowadays? People just want to chat and not actually meet? You can't get get know someone online. I get for a woman it's a bigger deal to meet up with a guy you don't know but you need to take a risk.

Glad I nipped this in the bud. Gave her an option to text me when she is 'ready' whatever that means but she'd rather cut me off for being assertive. OK lol

Anything I did wrong here? Surely this was a better option than texting her for weeks on end with no meet up

Especially now that I've said to meet and she said no I'd be completely bending in to her frame which I don't want.

Shed meet up for Brad Pitt etc.

this might sound odd to some of you, but every chick ive been with in the past (except one tinder sloot i met, ironically enough) has not asked/made me wear a condom when ive been with them. and these girls were not dirty bar sloots. they were normal, decent girls who take care of themselves. i got into relationships with a few of them.

Because of this, now i just assume that all girls will be like this with me. From what i understand, is that if a girl is into you she will care less about the risks of unwanted pregnancy/std's so on.. so the fact that this girl is kinda preoccupied with it, is a bit of a hit to my ego. Obviously I'm not intending to get anyone pregnant, and i dont have any STDs, but its the principle of them just wanting me enough to not care about me wrapping it up.

so i met a girl (in person, not online) around 1 month ago. we went back to my place but she was on her period so we didn't do anything. 3rd date we smashed, but like said she asked me to wrap it. at this stage, cos i only just met her recently, i was like 'tbh thats a good thing, means she's responsible, etc. and in a few dates she will probs be cool without'

so in total ive slept with her maybe 7 times now. the last time i tried to put it in raw and she stopped me and said 'its just too risky for me' and i reply 'you know im not gonna come insisde you' .. and she's like 'yeah but still ...' so i play it off like ok cool no worries and go get a shower.

later dropping her back she asks if im mad about it. i say im not mad but its something we can discuss another time (it was 6am and i really wasn't in the mood). we haven't spoken about it since.

she has mentioned going on the pill once in passing, but i never pushed it because

a) i haven't been seeing her long and if i break up with her, i'd feel a bit guilty about it
b) ive heard chicks on the pill get super crazy and emotional and not sure i can be bothered
c) if she forgets to take it/intentionally doesn't take it, im gonna have kids. unless i pull out in addition to that, but seems a waste.

this girl wants to be serious with me, and is basically treating me like I'm her boyfriend.
I'm not sure id be cool wrapping it with a girl who is my girlfriend. it just seems odd. like there's a lack of trust of something.

I feel 95% sure i could call her bluff and say if you wanna be serious with me then this is gonna have to change. I think if i was willing to walk away cos of it she would bend. but it still doesn't solve the main issue which is why she's so adamant about it in the first place.

we're talking like normal atm but its kinda bothering me. thoughts?

Cliffs:

- chick wont let me hit it raw, not even put it in and pull out
- has mentioned in passing going on the pill once but i didn't push it cos of reasons above
- its hitting my ego cos i feel if she was super into me she wouldnt care

I was on and off relationship for 10 years and I just ended it last year. Honestly, I wouldn't even count my last one as a relationship. If I am being honest, I've been single for almost 11 years now. I've dated here and there , the emotional attraction for the most part of the people I dated is there but not physically.

When was your last relationship?

To say happy birthday, she texted me but wouldn't agree to come over to my house for "dinner" one night

I was surprised usually my exes come back and will try to get back together, a guy is probably still in the picture and I had told her I wasn't interested in a friendship when she asked for one at the BU.

This was probably the most difficult BU I've had because I was considering marrying her at one time. I feel like it set me back mentally

She still watching every single thing I post on Instagram. Maybe it's kind of weak but I enjoy her watching me improve my life. I know in a way that makes me a butthurt **** like I'm trying to prove something but I started working on myself the same day of the breakup the cut started and the progress is starting to be obvious.

I quit vaping and took up Spanish classes. Linked up with some broads of the past and got a few new ones on deck. Took up some old hobbies again (rugby) and met up with some old friends.

Still I feel absolutely horrible and guilt ridden on some days like today. Instead of taking the relationship serious when I had a chance I instead allowed her to grind up her feelings for me down to nothing as I assured myself I wasn't ready to settle down and whatever happened was for the best.

I guess two things can be true at once, it sucks ass but my it was probably for the best. I couldn't even get my ass motivated when I was with her... I feel like a bitch for needing a chip on my shoulder to get my ass in gear. If anything useful comes from this it is that I can't keep doing it like this. I've got to keep my ass in gear all of the time instead of taking long ass complacency breaks

Can you even love someone but not respect them?

I broke up with my ex three months ago as it was a gut wrenching decision. I felt like she loved and was borderline obsessed with me, meaning she would always make time for me, wanted to get married, non stop talking/texting with each other, posted pictures of me, surprised me with gifts, always complimented me, did things with me etc.

However I felt like she just didn't respect me. And by respect I mean things like, she wouldn't listen to me whenever I would tell her something she's doing that made me unhappy for example posting quotes on social media whenever we were having trouble or an argument in our relationship so that the whole world could see. I told her about this for the whole 2 years I was with her and she would brush it off then do it again a week later or whenever the next argument happened. Also she would so easily threaten the relationship whenever a little argument occurred and I was never happy about that yet she continued doing so.

She also rarely apologized, especially during arguments and would shift the blame on me and act like the victim. She had a very bad temper and at times got violent to the point where she would throw things, break things, scream, yell, spaz out.

I'm just confused because I felt like she loved me but just did not respect me as a man. It's not like I wanted respect given to me also, I earned it throughout the relationship by committing to her (suppose to get married in less then a year). I guess my question is being in a relationship where you feel loved but not respected justified to breaking up as it became toxic?


Long story short, I was at her house chilling with her sister. Her sister was making super rude remarks about my body physically and just giving me a negative vibe in general (this isn't the first time she's acted like this towards me)

"your waist is very skinny"
"You need to work out your waist"
"Your neck is so small"
"Your upper body is bigger then your lower body"

The first time a while back I approached her about about this and it just caused tension between me and her sisters, which I didn't even get a sincere apology for. So I brushed it off

However this time, I chose not to speak to her about it rather tell my ex about it. So we went for a drive shortly after, and I calmy tell her that I don't like the way her sister talks to me and the overall negative somewhat hating vibe I get from her. Mind you I always try to approach conversations like this in a calm tone bc in the past my ex would get mad quickly and blame me for expressing my feelings in a assertive tone.

So after I tell her how I took it, she let's out a big sigh and looks the other way towards the window and doesn't speak at all; visibly looks upset. Five minutes later of pure silence, I tell her "you know not speaking nor approaching this issue isn't going to help us move forward"

She then says is it bothering you and I said yeah its annoying me bc this is the second or third time she's acted this way. My ex then says "I feel like she said nothing wrong" and then I reply by saying "how would you feel if you were hanging out with my sister and I and she started making rude comments about your body saying your too fat or that you need to work on this and that and the third..also if my sister or anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable i would be so quick to defend you.

She explodes in my face, shouting non stop

"I F****G HATE YOU"
"YOU RUINED OUR DAY"
"WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS A PROBLEM BETWEEN YOU AND I"

I tell her again in a polite calm tone I don't care if I ruined the day, if something is bothering me deep down I'm going to express how I feel to my partner as you should be the same way. She brushes it off and continues to make a scene, yelling shouting etc for the next 10 min. She spazzes out and tries to grab my phone to make me call her sister which i told her I don't want to make another scene and cause tension as it'll let other people into our relationship. I just was expecting you to speak to her or atleast defend me. She brushes that off and continues to make a scene for another 1-2 hours

Under my breath, I say "your ****ed", (mistake on my end) and then that obv triggers her even more and she grabs her engagement ring and throws it in my car and says "**** this" (she's done this before and I told her not to ever do that again or I'm walking away) I then say it's over and she quickly grabs the ring.

20 min later I decide to drop by and buy her food for the ride to see if she will calm down and listen to me. After eating she seems more at ease, and i politely tell her "you know I'm not trying to make you pick between me or your sister, I get it that she's your sister but I was expecting you to defend me or atleast talk to her knowing this keeps happening"

Slowly but surely she becomes angry all over again, this time even worse and she grabs her phone and starts smashing it on my car dash, push comes to shove so I decide to call her sister, and her sister pretty much mirrors her behaviour over the phone and starts screaming at me saying "I ALWAYS HAVE TO WALK ON STONES WHEN IM AROUND YOU" and pretty much gives a week ass apology. The part I don't get is that my ex always use to admit that her sisters would treat her like **** and be jealous of her.

Later on I drop her off back at home after going physco on me for 2 hours straight, she cries and tells me to call her on my way home, as I'm driving home her and her sister sense that im mentally checked out as this to me was the final straw pushed off the camels back, and they are begging me saying how do we fix this. Meanwhile I just wanted no part of this relationship anymore, I end up telling her I can't do this anymore and block her and her sister. And it's been over a month of no contact and she's tried reaching out once like three weeks ago but I have no desire anymore as I'm moving on as friends and family are telling me not to look back.

Am I justified?

I personally couldn't date someone who hated animals or even dont like animals. I wouldn't even be their friend.

Suddenly she just stops being interested?
No obvious reason why. Convo was flowing, leading up to the date we were having good banter over text (that's why I was so confident going in to it that it'd go well).

She suggests we meet again before the date is even over. So we plan for about 4 days out and say we will confirm nearer the time which place and time etc.

We text back and forth after that but her responses seem off. When the date we agreed comes around I tell her I get off work at X time. She says she's super busy atm with work before she goes on vacation so not sure she will have time.

How can this happen within literally 4 days ..? Weird af man

UK brah here.
Seeing this girl seriously over the last 12 months. Going great.
Pros - compatible, healthy diet, healthy, active, educated - nice job nice hours, Eastern European, domestic skill are great, loves dogs, kind etc etc.
Cons - a bit difficult when it comes to family interactions - she is quite a solo person. Doesn’t see her parents more than once every other year, wants the same from my side. Lacks a bit of emotional intelligence, blurts things out in anger etc.

Tried to give a brief description I suppose.

I work chitloads so I can go back ‘home’ once in a while. I used to do it every few months, but being mature to understand that a relationship comes first, I stopped that - and only would like to do this in the summer time (because im from a beautiful place in the summer and I have homes there and family and so on).

Now being with a woman from the same place as im from essentially, I thought she would understand this.

Now I took her ‘home’ with me for a week back in June and I stayed an extra week to go visit my parents who i had not seen since January. This caused a bit of friction because it was our first holiday and I ‘ditched’ her, but we got over it.
Now I had 4 weeks off in Sept that I had planned since last year - but she has no time off. Being responsible I told her that I would not go for the full 4 weeks because thats a bit kuntish, but would like to go for 1 week to hang with the retired parents and swim a bit to decompress from work.



This did not fly well, it has been made to appear that I am ‘just going on a holiday’. And also there is an assumption that this is my trend - just going home every few months and leaving the girl/wife/kids behind, and it appears I’m too attached to my parents etc. In essence im not putting the relationship first or taking it seriously, especially in its infancy of the first year or so.

This could not be further from the truth - I am going home, its not a vacation(even thought its a nice destination). I’m seeing parents only few times a year, and you better believe that if she had time off she would be on the plane with me. I’m never intending to go anywhere without her.



Misc bros - am i in the wrong here?
I can see her point - she wants a man to do the manly things and not leave the partner behind no matter what and so on. - after all, she would never go without me.
But at the same time, there is genuinely no ill intent here from my side. Sure some people see their families once a year, others are attached and see them every weekend.
I’m a sensible person - If we together had 4 weeks off, we could go 2-3 weeks somewhere solo and then 1 week back to my home perhaps (purely because its a hot spot at this time of year and we have a home base and it makes sense etc etc).
I dont think I am being too clingy or outrageous with my behaviour and choices. I’m willing to go 80% in her direction, we dont even need to meet halfway on these matters.

Just seems like an absurd argument to be having imo and a reason to breakup, especially considering we are compatible in every other single department quite well. Wouldn’t have even occurred if she had a week off work.

My gf (29)and I (34) are very open sexually. She said her ex boyfriend was 10 Inches and almost as thick as a soda can and they had sex multiple times a day for over a year,so we are talking maybe the 1% of penis size. She admitted he stretched her and she was so much tighter before him. Anyway, we have been together three months and haven’t had real sex once. Every time we start I lose my erection within a minute of being inside her. I always tell her it’s me and she is so tight. But she isn’t dumb. I’ve had sex with over 90 women and she is by far the widest I’ve ever encountered, and she’s a very petite girl. Usually even if I go in half hard within a few seconds of being inside a girl I get rock hard , it’s the opposite with her. What do I do? I do love this girl with everything I have and want to marry her. She is by far the most beautiful girl I’ve ever dated also, hard 8-9. Any advice would be great. Thanks.

So I’ve been dating someone seriously and we are very much in love and exclusive. Anyway we went away last weekend. She got drunk and brought up how an old doctor boss when she was in college and worked at a office from like 7 years ago texted her he’s in the area wanting to see her dinner whim she claims is”old and married “Long story short I said that’s weird and didn’t really like the idea of it and she agreed she wouldn’t. She made plans to see This dude next to me on our vacation before finally telling me after getting drunk. Anyway the next day I say you know what you can see him if you really want to that bad just let me know if you guys make plans to sorry for over reacting. Fast forward last night. I finally meet her best friends have a good night. Her and i go go her car to take a little. I bring up the dude and if she made plans to see him. She said she did text him and she said she could only do a lunch and he said he couldn’t.something knew she was lying so I said let me see the text. She refused to show me. She only showed me after I said if you don’t we are done. She always says I can look at her phone whenever I want but I never once have chosen to do so. As soon as she refused and looked terrified I knew it was over. I looked at the text, he now has a context name, on the vacation he was just a number( she deleted it before deciding to tell me when she was drunk). The text was like him double texting her saying hey are we still on? She replies. Heyy yes we are, sorry I was at a cabin with no service! (Never ever mentioning with her boyfriend)I’m in a wedding this weekend so I don’t have a lot of time “ I can do lunch this week though , but I know you probably don’t want to drive just for lunch” lol so he never said he couldn’t do lunch. She literally said it first. He replied okay. Can you do a “late “ dinner drink the following week ? She replied yess I can do a late date sept 12…. So she literally lied to my face saying she asked to do lunch and he said he can’t and she said that was the end of the convo. Am I crazy or is this a relationship ending thing. ? I know it’s misc but please be serious.

Texting some sloot on hinge
She's got that passive b*tchy attitude that girls think men like but we don't

Decide to try and fuk anyway cos she's still a 7/10

Say let's get coffee she says OK
Get number
Text back and forth for a bit, then she has to work

We never confirmed the place or time but we agreed a day (3 days out)

I text her a couple more times but she asks noting about me. Closed answers. I'm thinking I won't bring up the coffee cos she acting like an entitled sloot

Day comes around I thought fuk it - say just checking we're still on for today.

Says she has plans, cos i never confirmed with her (we confirmed the day) i say OK cool.

Then she comes back with these long paragraphs about she doesn't wanna sound rude but her standards are that the date is confirmed x days out, preferably AT THE TIME, blah blah blah, and how she has a line of guys who will EXCEED her standards lmao. I call her unrealistic and she flips out.

I say that if yoi wanted to know what's up up could have just texted me - i took the initiative to suggest coffee and a day, all you had to do was bring it up. She goes into another rant about standards. I wish her all the best and deleted number


Jist for clarity- I normally confirm the date plans in advance. Always in fact. But she was making no effort in convo with me so i didn't bother. Now it's apparently she wasn't making effort cos I didn't confirm the plans.

But what tf is with this kind of attitude? I've never encountered it this badly before. We've never met. I owe her nothing. She wants me to read her mind and perform to her standards.. super weird.

So me and my gf of 3 months broke up last night nothing happened between us and we had a really good relationship but im going to be moving a few hours away come September and she didnt want to have a long distance relationship so we broke up before we got pretty serious and right now we’re NC. Id like to talk to her again and atleast see her one more time if she wants too but how long should I wait to hit her up if I should at all?

Been on 6 dates with this girl, over about a month and a half. She just broke up with my on Monday night and I'm heartbroken, here's what happened.

First, some important background: On our first 4 dates, she would text after the date. Sometimes like 30 minutes after the date. After the third it took her a couple days, but she reached out just before I was going to. On our 5th I reached out a couple days later.

Now, this:

Our sixth date was on Friday, we went out for sushi dinner then went back to my place. Watched a movie, she spent the night, left Saturday morning at 5 AM. Had to help her friends move.

I texted her Sunday at 5PM, asking her how the move and everything else was. She got back to me 4 hours later and told me, then asked me a question. I responded and asked her if she wanted to hang out again sometime this week.

She got back to me Monday, kinda dodged the question but said "you know, it's OK to text me within 48 hours of hanging out". I said that I did, and I just didn't want to hound her and give her some space (and really, I didn't want to come off as needy). She said she's used to more communication, especially after sleeping with someone. And that's she's "not sure" about hanging out again.

And that was pretty much it. I further tried to explain and I apologized, saying I didn't want to feel like I was bothering her. She said I wouldn't have been bothering her, that she would have been excited to hear from me.

She also said that me not being vaccinated (and not really wanting to) "would eventually be an issue" for her.

And that was it. She dumped me because I didn't text her soon enough after she left, and apparently cause I'm unvaccinated. I feel like **** and am constantly asking myself "what if".

My question is - is that a good reason to break up with me? She didn't even want to work through it, there was no warning. She was just...done. What do you all think?

Important - her roommate/best friend is a very clingy girl. She panics if a guy she's dating doesn't text her back within a few hours. The girl I was dating previously told me she didn't like that I didn't text her right away after our 5th date (she told her, "screw him"), but that she understood why. I think her roommate clearly has a lot of influence and control on her and probably had a factor in this.

Cliffs:
-6th date, girl comes over to my place and spends the night.
-Leaves at 5AM
-I text her next day at 5PM
-She didn't like I took that long to text her, after sleeping with her. Also doesn't like that I'm unvaccinated.
-Ends it with me