WARNING. LONG POST.


First of all, thank you all you guys if you read it all. I'm currently in the most emotionally fuked up situation in my life. Never been so hurt and betrayed. So if you read most of what I wrote her, please give your honest advice. Much appreciate and may God bless you for trying to help me in this nightmare. I'll give all the rep I can every 24 hours or whatever for the next month for people who read it all and tried to help me. You have my word.




So long story short, I dumped my ex gf who is 20 years older than me on 2020-04-05 after 1.5 years together but we stayed in contact all this time. And I mean constant contact. Chatting almost every other day, occasional meet ups etc. No sex though.


All that time I wanted to stay friends with her and did not think about getting her back. You could say she was still always in my heart but I wasn't crazy about her and wasn't chasing her.

But 4 months ago on tinder I met a really hot girl my age. I smashed her on first date. Total slut. Wanted mostly sex and to be friends with benefits. But even though she was very hot, there wasn't any chemistry and I didn't like her as a person. So after 1.5 months I dumped her as well and ignored her. But boy oh boy how she started chasing me. But I did not care and told her to fuk off. Never heard of her after that.

Now the reason I dumped that slut is because I somehow started thinking about my ex when I was with her. Especially when we were having sex. I started to compare how my ex was in almost every way better than that girl and how much more attracted I was to my ex.

From that very moment, I started chasing my ex like there's no tomorrow. And from that very moment, my life became a living nightmare.

Now 3 months ago I noticed her getting back home very late, like after midnight in the middle of the week. I also noticed couple times her car gone. She was staying the night not at her home. I know this because she parks her car 2 blocks away from my home. So I see her car everyday. And I sometimes I would check very late if she got back home.

One time, I subtly asked where she was gone when she did not come home. One time she said her son took the car. The other time when her car was gone, I pretended that I don't know that and around midnight I wrote her with some stuff that I help her with. And I found a moment and asked her how is she spending her Friday evening. She wouldn't tell me because she doesn't like to lie. I started questioning her and told her to just tell me the truth and I will fuk off. She started saying, omg, I'm not hiding anything, you shouldn't be bothering me etc. That's it.

I knew she was with someone and I was emotionally destroyed that moment.

The very next day, I uploaded a photo from our vacation on Egypt when we were together. The photo she took in the read sea, me flexing and in really good shape. I thought it would remind her of me and good times we had and she would start missing me.

She sarcastically texted me "wow, what a dream boy" something like that. It wasn't sincere though. I could sense that.


Anyway, after that, I met with her and opened all my heart to her, told her how sorry I was that I left her, how I'm missing her and would do anything to get back to her. I even said I would buy us an expensive vacation, would take pictures of you because she loves them. She was not interested. Just relaxed and cold, did not give a single fuk. Told me that she forgives me but there won't be 2nd chance. With a smile on her face.

I was emotionally destroyed again. When I went home, I cried like a little girl for hours. But I still wouldn't give up.

Only this time, when I was chatting with her, I tried to be more relaxed like I don't care about her that much anymore etc.

You could say it worked a little bit. I also noticed she was getting home early after work, she stopped getting back late, wasn't spending the nights somewhere else. It made me more calm. I thought maybe it was just something casual. And she's free again.

So we maintained a connection like nothing happened. Even after I opened all my heart and she stomped on it.

I also noticed that she became a little bit sweeter to me. I thought we're getting closer.


Now a month ago, I gave her back the stuff that she gave me when we were together that I wasn't using anymore. We talked for maybe 20 minutes and she asked me to help her more with the stuff I already help her with. Which is helping her sell her used clothing. I said that I want something for that. I hinted her that I want some romantic time with her. She said that I can't give you anything.

The next day, she sends me a pic of herself tanning in bikini, tits hanging and asks me if I want to join her. I obviously accepted, drove to the place she was tanning. And we spent some time together.

I was like almost certain somethings happening here between us. Maybe she's falling for me.


Anyhow, after a week, on saturday, she had a shift at her work. She finished around 4 pm and said she's going with her colleagues tanning and to spend some time near some lake. I asked to make a group selfie. She refused, said her battery is dying etc. I got very suspicious.


Guess what happened next? She did not come home on that saturday. I was with my friends, came back around 4am in the morning, checked if her car is parked but it was nowhere to be found.


I thought for myself "not this shiet again". But I was somewhat calm this time.

Now the very next day, around noon she texts me and says if I want to go tanning together again. I said of course. But thought for myself "you probably just fuked with someone last night and you invite me to go tanning with you? Wtf?" Anyway, we spend some time together again. I asked her what time did she come back yesterday. She said around 1am. And I just caught her straight lying. I did not say anything of course. But I subtly mentioned about getting back together again. She said that I like my lifestyle that is right now, I don't want to commit etc. I then mentioned that if we can't be a couple, maybe we could spend some time together but with more romance. I thought for myself that whatever she has right now, it's not serious and she would probably do it with me. She did not say no but tried every possible way to dodge the answer. It was like "I'm not saying no but I'm also not saying yes".



Now after I caught her lying, I did something very creepy. I put a gps tracker under her car to find out the truth. And the truth came very fast. First time on Friday, 2 weeks ago. it was her day off because she worked on last saturday. She went to the city where she works in which is 20 miles from the city we live in. She parked her car at some neighborhood. The car was still from 1pm until she got back home around 10pm. I asked that day what she was doing and she said she went to capital city in our country for shopping. Well, maybe but with someone else because her car was still all day. I also asked her out for a coffee. She said I'll probably will get home late. So maybe next time.


The next day, she texts me "soo, what about that coffee?" I said, sure, we can go. So we went. Spend some time again. I took some pictures of her. She hated them. The next day, on sunday, I photoshopped the photos to make them look better. She still hated them. We got into a little bit of argument, I started talking about getting back together but she said she is till hurt after I left her a year ago. I said you don't care about me anymore. She replied I care about you as a friend. I said I won't be friends with you but keep in mind that you have a person that still has feelings for you and would do anything for you. But if you can't even think about getting back with me and I don't attract you sexually anymore, I will let you go. She saw the message and did not reply. This happened on june 27th. So not that long ago.

Now on June 29th, Tuesday, around 6:30 pm, after she finished working, the gps showed the same location and the same neighborhood her car was previously. Not only that but she also posted a story on instagram, filming herself how someone is driving her in a convertible car. When I saw that, I was devastated.

I didn't text her anything until next friday, that is July 2nd. Because her car was at the same neighborhood for like 4 hours after she finished working.

I got so emotional that when she got back home and when I saw her online and the same coworker of hers that I suspect she's spending time with, I texted her "I want to give you back all your clothing (that I help her sell). And you can ask the guy you blow to help you with" She got upset and said watch you mouth.



Now what happened next is beyond pathetic. I texted her, apologized her how I reacted, that she is a free woman and it's not my business if she's seeing someone. I told her that I will still help sell her clothes and will give the money to her when I sell almost all of them. Because although you lied and played with me, I'm not mad at you. She said I can keep the cash for myself whatever I sell. I said I wouldn't do that. She also said to forget about being friends after what I did.


Soo..you probably think this can't get more pathetic, right? Wrong. Keep reading.


So after all this, I thought that this is really the end. But I felt a little bit bad that I told her to take your ****ing clothes and ask for the help the guy that you blow. So I wanted to make it up for this. I bought her a box of roses, a bottle of expensive champagne and left at her home door.

She was not impressed. Said "I don't need flowers from you after the way you talked to me recently. I said it's just a nice gesture, without any intentions. She replied Ok. So that was on July 5th. 2 days ago.

Now what happened the next day after I gave her roses and champagne, that was a sword to my heart. It was her day off and she went to the same neighborhood she goes after work. Left her car and posted tis. I'mm attaching the pictures below.







Now I just learned that this woman (which I deeply loved and she loved me as well before our break up) was playing and fuking with me in every possible way for the last 4 months. Even though I opened my heart to her, offered sincere help, she lied to me, decided to destroy me emotionally and humiliated me as much as possible.




Truth to be told, I have 0 feelings left for her after all this. I just want to do the same to her. I know that I made a lot and incredible mistakes the past 4 months but I want to destroy her emotionally like she did to me. it probably won't work like it worked on me because she doesn't give a fuk about me anymore but what would be my best move right now to cause her as much emotional pain as possible?

My very close friend who has a lot of experience in relationships advices me to invite as much girl friends on ********, he will make me high-end photos with his 10k camera. I should receive a lot of likes which I never did and I'm sure that slut 99% will write to me. She'll think that I still think about her, can't let her go and will probably continue to play her game. My friend advices me to ignore her completely. He says that would be the most painful thing to her after I gave her so much attention and now it's gone. She will go mad. And there's a chance she will start chasing me. Although chances are slim. But a complete ignore will nevertheless hurt her emotionally.


What can you advice? I'm not even thinking ever writing her first. But if she texts me again, should I ignore her completely? Or do I keep chatting with her but don't show any interest in her, write short texts etc? Like she did? Do I have a chance to play with her the same way she played with me?



I know this was very long and if you read through all this and managed to give your sincere thoughts, I'll rep you till the day I die.


Appreciate.

So my girlfriend was driving a new road she never drove before (which I have driven many times), and she got a speeding ticket.

She then proceeds to say 'You could've warned me there were speed checks there'.
I get mad because she's trying the shift the blame to me, while she's the one behind the wheel. Her counter-argument is 'I'm not trying to blame you, I'm only saying it because the incident scared me'.
She won't admit she's saying it because she wants to blame me. That's the thing that pisses me off here. She thinks she's in her full right to say that.
Who's right and who's wrong here?

edited to write cliffs instead:

-2 months ago
-group interview for job. me her and a few others
-good vibes, lot of eye contact, def felt she was into me
-didn't get the job due to to the fact I didn't have a qualification they wanted (they missed this in the screening, so they apologised for wasting my time)

-didnt say goodbye to her (or other others), just left cos i couldn't be bothered to explain why i didn't get the job and frankly didn't think they'd believe me anyway (i actually passed the interview, but the qualification requirement was essential).

-also didn't try and get her no. as she was sitting with a group and it was a formal setting, and didn't anticipate id be going home early so figured i could get it later on.

-randomly came across her on IG today, seems she did get the job
-sent message saying 'hey you look familiar, did you go to x interview' (wasn't 100% it was her)
-would it be weird to suggest meeting up for coffee?
-how direct should i play it
-will obviously need to explain why i jetted without saying goodbye

Deleted my other thread, but I've decided to share my experiences attempting to date.

I sit next to a divorced single mom of two. She was pretty quiet at first, but in the past 2.5 months we've gotten much more comfortable around each other.

Somehow we got on the subject of dating, and I told her that I was having a difficult time attracting girls around my age. She pretty much said I probably come off as too mature and clean cut (I look that way, but I'm not?) to those girls right now, but older women usually appreciate it. Anyway she gave me the whole platitude of "She'll come along out of nowhere one day! Don't give up!". I don't like feeling patronized, so I tactfully ended the conversation after that and took a walk. Back to normal when I got back though, and we spoke as if nothing happened.

That conversation is when I noticed she started "checking me" and asking how old I was (because she has hang ups about age). Funnily enough she somehow throws the implication that she doesn't date younger, which was like a day or two after this. No one even asked lol. But lately she's started exposing herself more. She keeps a blanket over her lap when she's wearing her dress, this week she just took it off, and started swinging her chair in my direction so I can get a clear view at her legs and thighs. At that point I'm sure she noticed the semi making a bulge in my jeans. She'll get up more often, be sure to give me time to glance at her butt. Getting quirky around me, prompting more conversation.

Then it happened...

"I was telling my homegirl about yo-"

She let it slip before promptly correcting herself. So I know this woman is attracted to me, but should things escalate there's not much I'm willing to do here besides casual. I have no problem dating a woman with kiddos if they're integrated properly, however the last single mother I asked out on a date to a bar tried to include her kids with no attempt at finding a babysitter. So that has slightly put me off from trying again.

Cliffs
-Divorced single mom at work is says she isn't into younger men.
-Let it slip that she talks to her best friend about me.
-Has become more flirtatious and exposes herself in my vicinity more often.
-There's nothing to pursue, but an interesting story nonetheless.
-Even if there was she has some personality red flags I can't work with

So for fun and to try it out I bought this spray and the sex was incredible holy****. The bottle says to spray between 3 to 10 sprays on the head and shaft but i just used 3. What i did before applying was making sure i was horny as hell and rock hard which is not an issue I let it dry for 20 minutes( you could wait 30 of you want). Honestly it felt like it was dry and absorbed within a few minutes so im sure it works fine. Just make sure You just apply it to the head and shaft and nowhere else or youll numb your partner.

Bros im not joking this stuff works. I got it from walgreens. Its also safe for oral sex(just make SURE its dry and absorbed!!!)

Cliffs

Met 2 chicks yesterday
Had good vibes with both of them

Gave my number to each one separately (I never usually do this, I always find a way to ask for theirs)

In this instance, the first one outright asked for it as we were talking, in order to send me something we were speaking about that she couldn't remember

The second one was working, and didn't want to make her feel awkward in front of co workers so just wrote my no. down and handed it to her as I left. Was much more interested in this one. As I handed it to her she seemed really receptive and lit up. Yet 24hrs later, still nothing.

I've come to the conclusion that it's a bad idea to do this, better to always get theirs so you're in charge of the convo and making the move. Anyone else have thoughts on this?

Also don't know what I did wrong as had good convo with both of them. The one I wrote my no down for, it was on an empty wrapper so it could have rubbed off, or maybe she couldn't read the writing. Dunno, clutching at straws.

How do you snap out of the neverending cycle that is dating?

I have met and been with a lot of women. Either they went cold after a while, either I went cold because of some red flags.

Is this the 21st century reality or do you just settle down at 30+ , overlooking some flaws you wouldn't overlook if you were only 25?

cliffs:
-used to work with a girl (who i met once, i just remember her - and she remembered me)
-saw her randomly after about 1yr
-we chat and i get her no.
-text only a few times, and convo dies before i actually manage to ask her out

-last time she texted me was just saying whats up basically, I say xyz, she gives super short replies then I ask how it's going with her - and she doesn't respond

-That was about 3 weeks ago. Suddenly just now texts me out the blue asking 'whats the nicest places to go in (my area)'

on one hand, I feel like she wouldn't need to ask me this - she could just use google. I have no idea why she is messaging me, if not for hoping i'd ask her out or suggest taking her somewhere.

But then again, she has been really cold in her replies to me before, then left me on read - so she can't be interested in me.

I normally assume the sale in cases like this, and just assume they are interested and want me to ask them out.

But in this case I really don't feel suggesting to go out with her anymore, when she is being like this. I feel its kinda disrespectful from her side.

Also, it's not like we spoke back and forth for ages and it got boring, we literally had maybe 2 text exchanges, that was it. I wanted to at least build a baseline level of rapport, because i hadn't seen this girl in years so was kinda weird to go straight for the meetup. I see some text convos posted on her of people chatting for ages - it wasn't like that.

I’ll make this short. Yes, I’m the divorced dude who loves being single. I promise myself to keep my standards high. As a matter of fact I’m taking this 10/10 girl to a fancy banquet. She’s also an engineer like me. I specifically asked her to be my date and she said yes. We are in the same organizations so we see each other a lot.
I felt she liked me last year but I never made a move due to me getting over a breakup (yes, mistake) so she might have gotten discouraged. She was the one asking to hang out and see me. But beta me didn’t make a move and I know better. In a weird way, I feel she’s lucky to come with me and not the other way around, just like it seems in this thread making it seem like I’m putting her on a pedestal.

1. What’re the rules? Do i pick her up? Hold hands?
2. I want to tell her I like her. I want to be straight up and honest — risking it all. Is this a good idea?
3. Instead of telling her I like her, should I just kiss her? (Corey Wayne and other YouTube “coaches” say to go in for the kiss)
4. What do if she rejects? (Again, in my head I’m thinking she’d be an absolute dummy to reject someone like me. And I guess there’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness)

I was with someone for 9 years so this is new to me again.
There are many other girls I’ve gone out with and made a move on them during our first hangout, but I didn’t really like them. I consider myself very confident but become a little b**** when it comes to this 10/10 girl. **** rejection. Regret is worse than rejection.

Wife hadn't given up the goods without having to use protection ever since I got the V (had to get V to keep job months ago).
Now her work is finally requiring her to get the V.

I got Covid last week. Out of the blue my wife gives up the goods, unprotected.
She never got Covid for some reason.

Now that I've recovered she has gone back to her autistic ways and wont give me the goods.

The cold bitch only let me have it so she could get Covid and delay her employment obligation to get the V, because [insert COPE/autism reason.]

So when I was single I would masturbate to porn all the time. 2-3 years ago, while single, I realized I had an issue and decided to stop, which I did cold turkey.

I have a long distance relationship and during our usual gaps between visits I was bored and horny so I resorted to porn once and that's it.

We get together about a week later and I can't finish but only 1/4 times we have sex during the 3 day weekend so she thinks we have a problem in our relationship because it's never really happened much in the past.

I had no idea why the possibility of that happening may have occurred and I eventually told her that it may be because I watched some porn. She took that super hard.

She doesn't understand why I would've watched porn at all and she felt humiliated and embarrassed that it would be a reason l and that I would rather see someone else naked and get turned on that wasn't her.

She takes sex and love hand in hand and that, admittedly, our relationship was super strong in that department. So she feels betrayed.

This is bringing up a ton of statements we've discussed in the past about what means a lot in relationships or what's good/bad etc... During these discussions we've had the same outlook but the way it's verbalized from myself she tends to take it and hear something different.

Anyway as vague as some of that is... She's flipping out and may want to break up because she can't get past this issue among other smaller ones.

Here is one in particular that has got her reeling: every so often I get phishing texts on my phone like the bots on social media (hey sexy, feeling frisky? Etc...) From random numbers and stuff. She, on the other hand gets hit on blatantly very often by real people who want something else with her.

I've always laughed at both of these and she's laughed at things from her side but she thinks these phishing attempts are now the result from the one website I've visited for 2 minutes weeks ago and it's making her mind go crazy and questioning our relationship.

She's amazing in everything except she allows her mind to go wild when her emotions get a little high.

Am I crazy? Wtf is going on and I'm looking for any and all advice on how to handle this.


Reps

My eating disorder treatment team (therapist, nutritionist and psychiatrist) don't understand how size is viewed in dating. I slipped (or relapsed, however you view it) and went on an 800-1200 calorie diet last summer and lost a lot of weight, but then it started to rebound when I added in heavy exercise and I was hungry all of the time and eating up to 2,000 calories and panicking over that, but I couldn't sleep without eating. I occasionally suffer from bulimia and I was hospitalized for anorexia for 3 months back in 2000.

So they put me on this "Intuitive Eating" program which I tried in the 90s but ditched because it caused me to gain 6 lbs. It's hard because it tells you to normalize food and make "fear foods" OK by eating them and not just eating healthy food. I loved it as I could eat Togo's and bagel sandwiches, doughnuts over organic chia bowls, eggs, greek yogurt and other "healthy" foods, but of course that extra bread made me gain some of the weight back.

But then they tell me the size acceptance thing that I should find someone who values my kindness, how I treat men like kings, compassion and other qualities besides size and eat all foods when I'm hungry and stop when I'm somewhat full. I don't think they understand dating, especially online dating. How is someone supposed to know that I have those qualities in a swipe?

It sucks if I have to choose between recovery and finding a life partner at this point because even men in their 50s in our area post on their profiles that they are active and expect the same in their mate. I workout 5-6 days a week so I am active, but I know they imply thinness.

I dont get many visitors, thankfully, but we have kids so this bothers me.
She also leaves used pads in the bin, without wrapping them up in something first, on top of the pile for anyone to see.

I've told her 100 times this is not acceptable and I dont want my kids to think that it is, but she keeps doing it anyway.

What do?

I caught 20 crabs from my last fishing trip and only ate 12 of them before my competition this weekend. The other 8 were still alive and since I'd be out of town, didn't want them to be dying on me before I got back. I got my coworker A to take care of them, but then I just remembered my 2nd coworker B has kids who love sea animals and I'm close to them because I show them a lot of interesting critters every month so I thought it'd be a good idea to let coworker B take them home so her kids would be excited.

So 24 hrs later as I'm getting rejected by the athletic trainer from my other thread I posted about, I call my coworker up and she told me she let them go because she couldn't handle seeing them suffer. I'm fkin livid, but I didn't want to blow up over the phone so I just asked whether the kids liked them... FK!!!!

-These were NOT her possessions
-She did this WITHOUT my consent
-She just DECIDED to do w/e she wanted with them as if they were hers to do so!
-Total lack of respect for other people's belongings and utter selfishness with her own feelings
-She did NOT contact me what to do, or even let me know what she was going to do - she waited for ME to find out!!!
-She should've just brought them back to the lab and let my coworker A look after them

My predicament:
Now I REALLY like this coworker because I admire her as a researcher. I don't have respect for many people in life, but she is one of them. Now I don't know what to do!!! I want to lash out, but I probably need to stay professional. I want to punish her for ruining my stuff without my consent and then waiting for me to find out myself. WTF was she even thinking?!? Did she think I'd be ok with that, "Ok, I'm just gonna do w/e I want with Ninshark's sh*x." Holeefkin sh*x brah!!! What do I fkin do?!?! Get revenge and make enemies with my coworker?? Be spiteful and end my mentoring relationship with her kids?? How am I gonna get over this disrespect?!? damx!!!

***update***

So I confronted her today and was as patient as kind as possible. I rate my performance a 5/10 for average, not bad and not good, just ok and acceptable.

First thing I said when I walked in:
Ninshark: Why did you get rid of my crabs? *pause* You know, I'm really unhappy about that.

when notified she couldn't do as she pleases with my stuff she said:
-Yeah they were in my care and I can decide what to do with them.
when notified that she could've just brought them back to the lab to let coworker A take over she said:
-Yeah I could've, but I didn't.

She continued to say shocking things like:
"Want to bring this up to the boss??"
"Want me to pay you for them and then never talk to me ever again?"
"I don't have time for this, can you just leave my office?!"
"Leave my office, RIGHT NOW!"
"You asked ME for a favor, you cannot treat me like this!"
"If you wanted me to do what you wanted, you should've PAID me!"

F&CK...THIS...B*XCH!!!

I'm so disillusioned and speechless. This was someone I really admired, for 2 years, and all of a sudden she's a total b*XCH!!! WTF man!!!

Whats up everyone havent been on this sub forum in years... Long story short I have been married going on 8 years now, we have a 2 year old as well. Decent marriage, the usual arguments.. I do love my wife and she has made me a better person and ive been disgusted with the thought of being with anyone but her. But since I have been going back to the gym I'll have random thoughts about hooking up with a girl at the gym. Anyone ever experienced this? I don't like it at all and I would never act on it, but just having the thoughts is irritating me. Weird situation to be in. Reps for decent answers!

I don't know if this girl is playing games or if she just isn't interested.

We've met a few times through friends, last time she told me it was great to see me and we should catch up soon and added me on insta.

I messaged her a few days later and asked if she was free to go out for coffee and she ignored me.

2 Days later she replied, apologized saying she had a "tough week" and asked if we could catch up another time - she immediately responded asking if I was free to hang out on the weekend.

I responded by proposing we catch up on Sunday night for a drink and it's been 2 days again without a reply.

I get that people get busy, but she's been active on messenger and instagram (posting stories etc).

How do you guys react in these situations? My interest for her has kind of waned now, but I don't know if I'm just being butthurt and over-reacting because she is taking her sweet time to respond. I don't want to hold out and wait for her because I could be making other plans...

TLDR
Girl taking days to respond to messages after proposing we hang out - worth the hassle or not?

Gonna try and keep this as short as possible:

Seen a lot of comments lately and in general about guys claiming they have a tough time having success on dating apps, and since where I live (Southern Europe) tinder is the most used app afaik, while I was waiting for a friend to get ready so we can go out, I decided to do a little tinder social experiment.

I downloaded tinder on my phone, made a fresh profile and went on tinder as a female. Now the pictures I used were of an imo 6/10 maybe 7/10 at best 22 year old blonde girl and was actually shocked by the results. Instantly was bombarded with likes/super likes and I just one hour managed to get 100 matches, god knows how many likes and 40+ messages. Ofc didn't took it any further and just deleted the profile and the app altogether since I don't use it, but I imagine how much more attention females get compared to guys on dating apps in bigger countries( I live in a small country even by Europe's standards) and shows how much you really need to stand out to have success on these apps, at least where I'm from.

Kind of sad for the dudes who spent their super likes on the fake chick though, maybe in their eyes she really was the best sandman.

The misc and so much content out there says that all men need a wife or a stable LTR to be happy but even as I approach my 30s, I feel like I am happy being single. I prefer the solitude and if get a date every couples weeks or so, that is a fun time for me. It's like I feel that deep down inside, I don't actually want commitment or an LTR but society and all of the content out there is pushing it on me saying "no no no no, you need this bro".

There used to be movements to say that men can be happy being lifelong bachelors as long as they have their finances and career together but those seem to have gone down. Now it's like even the pro-male movements are saying "eewww how can you be a bachelor after 30 that's gross bro, grow up".

WTF.

Clown world dating I guess.

What’s up brahs any advice?? I had to friend zone this girl because she wants my attention all the time and I told her many times even the moment we met is I’m
Not down for relationship or marriage or even having kids. I tried to break it off but her sad face made me say we can stay friends. She seems to respect that but will still ask me to come over we have sex now that’s cool and all but I’m feeling guilty af mane. She’s awesome and ready to date and I’m coming out of a break up and need to heal. Am I jerking her around? should I cut it off for good or remain friends who have sex occasionally (which is phucking with my head honestly)

ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATED, HAVE YALL BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION??

Mainstream society and the misc say you are supposed to be miserable if you live this way but I just hate LTRs and committing to women. I feel like I am so into my life, my business, my work, and my hobbies that women are good for company, chatter, and sex but that's it.

I also imagine society will judge you harshly and say that you are weird, odd, or messed up but the men I know in real life like this are happier than the married and recently divorced guys.

Sometimes I wonder if its crabs in a bucket by other men. They know they messed up marrying quick or marrying the wrong woman so they hate the men who have freedoms in life and try to make them feel bad for being bachelors.

Unfortunately this school of though has infested the misc too.

Wanted to know if men on here are happy being bachelors and casually dating without commitment.

No FAs please.

Cliffs:
- Wife of 10 years doesn't give me bjs. Never has.
- OP used to get bjs in high school/college from ex gf, best feeling ever.
- What do I gotta do to get one?

UPDATE 7/6/2021: Wife has given me two blowjobs in the last five days!

Original question:

All,
My wife will not give me bjs and it is super frustrating. She is a super simple woman, and doesn't do out-of-the-ordinary things during sex. I ALWAYS go down on her, she absolutely loves it when I give her oral sex. I literally go down on her every time we have sex. She never goes down on me, it just doesn't happen. In our 10 years of marriage, she has sucked my dink for about 20 seconds, just two or three times. Those couple of times that it has happened I made sure to tell her how amazing it was. Maybe I didn't tell her it was amazing enough? I'm truly at a loss. I've made it mission critical to shower and shave right before sex, to ensure it isn't a personal hygiene issue. Gotta put my best foot forward 100% of the time to rule out any of the usual suspects that result in no blowjobs. A couple of weeks ago, I positioned us into the 69 position, to see what she would do. Haven't been in the 69 position in LITERALLY YEARS. She didn't even touch my dink with her hand. Absolutely nothing. What do?

UPDATE 7/6/2021 below:

TLDR: Wife has given me two blowjobs in the last five days!

So, I have been swamped with work and living life everyone. My apologies for not coming in here and updating this thread! I have AWESOME NEWS.

After getting really good suggestions from DBoyDaRealest, skinnyfat88, and Rabbitjb, I sat down with my wife and we had a freakin' awesome conversation about oral sex. Long story short, she hasn't given me blow jobs because she has struggled with the idea of sucking something I piss out of. Lmao. I explained how much I LOVE giving her oral, and perhaps she would enjoy giving it to me just as much if we tried it regularly. Told her it felt absolutely amazing the 2-3 times she has done it for me in the past 10 years, and it is the best feeling ever. She told me that when I give oral to her, she thinks it's the best feeling ever as well.

The conversation lasted like 1.5 hours at least, lmao, and we just talked about sex. How freakin' awesome is that brahs/brahettes. I'm so pumped and happy that we talked about this topic and me and my wife have had a ton of newfound fun in the bedroom in the last five days. She has given me two blowjobs in the last five days, feels incredible brahs. MEASLY REPS TILL I'M OUT.

Cliff notes:

- Saw a girl in my town did a cold approach she was a 12 and is over 30 years old. I was super direct and confident asked if she had a bf. Her eyes lit up she immediately she said no. You could tell it made her day we hit it off no awkwardness she happily gave me her number and told me to contact her for sure.
- I left it two days dropped her a message. She got back to me straight away with super positive messages we realised we both were of the same Mediterranean decent and both worked out. She was super excited, started flirting and I couldn't stop her from messaging me. At the peak of this conversation I had to go to training so had to cut the conversation short so I asked her what her schedule was like for the next week to get to know her more and take her out.
- She didn't give me her schedule so I decided to wait for her response she messaged me the next day, flirting with me but again didn't give me the schedule, so I asked her again at the height of the converstion simply 'Let me know when your free would love to take you out' She again didn't give me an answer to this.
- So I decided to not speak to her for 2-3 days because thats what I have always done for good behaviour give them my attention for clear bad behaviour withdraw. She messaged me again after 3 days I didn't respond as I was busy in work and really was like she should just give me a day or time, so I called after work in the evening just once. She didn't pick up.
- By this time I was just like fine I will basically throw in the towel not sure whats going on here but I don't have the time for someone playing hard to or might have someone else she is seeing (Who knows at the end of the day).
- I text her she 'Gave you a call yesterday babe no answer, whats gives, I'm going to leave this now.' She messages me back straight away saying. She is a lovely girl it would be my loss if I walked away and she suffers from phone anxiety and to not take it personally with loads of kisses at the end.
- I say cool well let me know when you want to get together, looking forward to seeing you again. I'll leave it to you ( basically pulling away not going to put any more effort in ).
- She said she cant wait to see me again, flirty message and that she would call me in the evening.
- No call from her that evening and I we have not communicated via text for two days now I wont contact her again.

What gives any advice I mean I am not going to call her or text again just why do girls do this when they clearly like you or are they just being polite its so frustrating.

ill try to make this short as possible; my wife has been sleeping on the couch for years i sleep upstairs , she fukn snores and watches tv at night so i can't sleep in the same bed so she sleeps downstairs. We switched from sprint to att couple days ago and was helping her back up some data; while shes at work with her new phone I had her old.


I found out she's been talking to a guy she works with, he's married she's married


noting sexual, no meetup's just general chit chat like "how you doing today" "what are your plans this weekend" stuff like that at first she told me "oh when i have work questions i ask him stuff" but it's more general daily chit chat. kinda ****ty since we both use skype at work and she hardly ever messages me. I confroted her about and she got mad of course at me. What would be your next move?

28, been married for a few years now.

She's my first actual LTR.
She's been depressed for some time now and wanted to try separate living. I agreed because things haven't been same for quite a while for now.

Said she's fine if I go fk around, because we haven't been intimate for a while either.
The separate living seems to be working for now, we've been meeting most days and have better time than before.

But I'm conflicted if I should try to fk around or not. I've never been the type who runs around and I'm afraid even if she says that she's fine with it, she could get hurt by this.

Then again, since we're still young and I haven't really had the experience to fk around, perhaps it's what would be actually good.


What do you think brahs?
If I was to do it, would it ruin us for good or could it work?
Which apps are popular right now, Tinder?
Should I be open from the start about being married or not? If sex is only what I am looking for anyway.

average guy

or



I mean for getting a nonfat girlfriend. Obviously these guys can go whale watching.

I don't really get it but I have no success on these and it's really annoying because when I say I'm single girls are always like "you should try tinder." I'm like it doesn't work for me and then they're like "try bumble."

And then there are old guys who are like "if I had tinder back in my day, I'd be going on dates all the time."

On a literally prostitute website a guy told "get off this site and download tinder. This hobby is for old guys like me. If I was your age I'd be on all the dating apps."

It gets really annoying. Like I try these apps and don't have any success. What percentage of men even have success on these apps? Is the 80-20 true or just a meme? Whenever I hear about someone in real life talk about getting a relationship off online dating, it's usually some fat single mom. Most young girls just joke about it and say it's trash and full of ****boys (chads pumping and dumping them lol). I've never actually met a guy who met his girlfriend off of tinder.