I’ve been dating this guy for about 8/9 months. We’re 9 years apart and I don’t notice the age difference. We get along like a house on fire, always laughing together. He tells me regularly ‘I laugh so much with you’, I know his friends, his family know about me but we haven’t been able to meet due to Covid. He used to call his parents every Sunday but since we’ve been dating, it’s become less and less. To me this is also a sign of being in a relationship with someone. We normally see each other a few times a week, sometimes less or more depending on our schedule. He invites me to all the 'big' things in his life, for example, we were going to go to his medical ball together (he would've been seen with me in front of other girls if there is anything nefarious). When we drive or hangout in different areas together, he likes to look up the prices of houses. He's also said in front of me how cute kids are and that he can't wait to do that one day. Signs to me he's testing my reaction and seeing if I want that as well.

A few months into dating, he asked to make sure that we’re not seeing other people. He isn’t into casual sex and I think exclusivity is important to him. A few months ago I was anxious about what we were - he hadn’t asked me to be his girlfriend and I thought this is something that he would’ve wanted to do. He’s traditional, wanting something serious such as marriage/family. We had a few talks about the direction of our relationship, he said there were a few things he was a bit concerned about, a few things we maybe didn’t have in common (he’s very risk-averse and overthinks everything). His concerns were things like ‘I like anime and you don’t’ ‘I like fiction books and you don’t’

He’s studying so after that conversation he said he would decide at the end of his exams, his exams have finished now. He went away recently with some of his University friends, he was unsure of whether to go (seemed like he wanted to be with me, haha) and wanted to see me before he left. I’ve felt good about everything between us post-exams as I had a feeling he was going to slowly contact me less and less and try and see me less - due to his uncertainty.

One night on the phone, I told him that I wasn’t quite sure whether continuing to have sex with him was a wise idea as we aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend. He was confused that I said it was casual. I said ‘well, we aren’t in a relationship’ and he said ‘you are my girlfriend’ I’m certain he went onto say ’I thought we’ve known this since we started dating’ so I then asked him ‘well if I was to meet a new friend of yours that I haven’t met, would you introduce me as your girlfriend? And he said yes. Unfortunately, he has to repeat his exams so I may not be able to see him for a while, I do need to clarify that he actually meant this.

I just wonder why he had this hesitancy a few times when we had the discussion a few months back though? There was even a point where I suggested we should end things because he wasn't so sure and he agreed. Maybe this is natural though and a reflection of his risk-averse attitude about things. There were just some uncertainties on his part. He said he could've been overthinking it. As a result, it sort of made me more anxious and I suggested we should end it.

We were the other day asking to see me and said it’ll be good to have a proper chat about things as we’ve both been putting things off, as so he said.

I got to his house, he said yes I have been his girlfriend all along and he doesn't know why I would think otherwise. He said that he feels its the best decision for us to end things due to our age gap and our differences, he claims we're very different people. I personally do not see this as I feel like we share the same values, we're compatible in a lot of areas etc. He told me that he finds me beautiful, loves my sense of humour and that we get along and have fun together. I did mention that we handle conflict differently but our only arguments have been over text/call and since that's such a poor form of communication - it's hard to tell.

He started to cry (this is the most emotion I've seen from him), saying he won't be able to cook me any more dinners and our memories shared together. He then went back and forth and said he doesn't know if he's making the right decision, that he will never find someone like me, I am out of his league etc. He said maybe he's just one big idiot after all and he's made a stupid decision. I was calm in my response and he said "why don't you get angry? this is making it more difficult" in a somewhat cute way. He just kept saying that lately everything has been solidified in his brain that it's the most responsible decision.

Now I feel like since we've been arguing quite a bit the past few weeks and he's been stressed, possibly his decision is skewed. I hadn't seen him in 2 or 3 weeks due to exams and I asked whether maybe we just got cold feet because of us not seeing each other. I remember months ago he said he sometimes questions us in absence.

We spent over 4 hours talking and it was like he didn't want me to leave nor did I. He then asked if we should go to dinner together. He finally walked me to my car and he couldn't stop crying.

Something in me decided to message him this morning:

Me - Morning 😊 I don’t know if messaging you is the best idea, but I hope you haven’t woken up too sad. If you ever want to catch up on neutral grounds, a coffee or lunch, don’t hesitate - I still consider you a friend. Even under these circumstances, it was nice to see you last night and I am saddened I won’t be able to have more of them with you. That’s all ❤️

Him - Morning! I was in two minds as to whether to message you with the same sentiment 😅 I feel very much the same. Like you say it’s always nice seeing you, and it’s hard for me to think we won’t be sharing more moments together. I really hope you’re feeling ok today ❤️ Enjoy the rest of your weekend 😊

Me - Aw, well if you’re keen to catch up in a week to come or a few months, let me know. I’m trying to not make this any harder for us but it is difficult. I didn’t react with anger because that’s genuinely not how I feel about us. I miss you, enjoy your morning eggs ❤️

Him - Will do ❤️ miss you too, at least you can have your eggs with olive oil today 😅

Do you think it feels like he still possibly wants to be together?

**TL;DR** 8 months into dating, he finally broke the news to me that we should end what we have based on our age gap and some differences.

posted about this girl a couple times before

basically we live away from each other because i work overseas. it's just a casual thing, as of now but she wants it to progress into something more. i've told her repeatedly lets just see how it goes. i havent been home since march due to covid.
we've been keeping in touch through text and speak most days usually. we only started seeing each other just before march, and slept together a few times

we've actually become closer since then despite the distance. i thought at some point it was probably going to fade out, but it's been 9 months and we still both seem pretty excited to meet when im back.

that was up until around 5 days ago, where we had a massive argument. we've argued a handful of times about various things, usually due to her poor communication skills but it was different this time, because it got personal and just felt bitter
The usual root cause is she gets passive aggressive when she doesn't like something rather than being open about stuff, it gets pent up, which leads to me getting pissed and her getting upset, go figure.
She has an anxious personality as well so even the most normal things become a problem in her head.

this time it was because i'd (admittedly) been closed off and wasn't messaging much - as I was going through work issues.
She was laying into me about how she feels shut out etc. despite me telling her i was stressed recently.

she starts the convo first thing in the morning like 'do you want me to stop texting you' (just for context).
from there it gets heated because i feel attacked. i defend my point, and afctually give her examples of where i have made an effort to ask about her and initiate, to which she basically dismisses those and irrelevant compared to her effort
from there i tell her she keeps 'starting mindless drama'. she flips out at that comment and she stops responding.

one of the days we dont talk at all, the following day she replies like 7 hours later after i asked if everything was ok. later i found out she was 'working' with some dude she knows from her old job on a school application, which my gut feels pretty suspicious about.

in any case there was no prioritisation of getting the issue between us solved, and the way she did the whole 'silent treatment' thing really pissed me off

the aftermath from the actual argument itself presented way more red flags to me than what we spoke about. she said she was too upset to speak to me straight away yet she was happy to get other stuff done, like her school application
we eventually spoke through it day before yesterday, but it still feels really sour - and we are barely talking.

im not sure whether i should just stop making any effort at all. my gut tells me she might be seeing other guys. she asked me on the phone the other day 'would you date other people' and after a pause i said 'i'd definitely let you know if i wanted to'.
She said that she wouldn't even consider it because she was really into me but im not sure if i trust that. im thinking she asked me this because she's considering it, and wants to know my reaction/where i am.

part of me wants to not completely ruin it in case im able to come home in the next 2 months but another part of me feels disrespected by a lot of things, mainly her lack of effort and communication.

I do not care about other girls
I feel numb/cold to girls that are't my ex. I only care and love her even though we broke up years ago. I compare every other girl to her and they aren't the same and thus i don't care what should i d?

assuming you were FWB with a girl - so you were both allowed to see other people.

is that not kind of weird? you'd be smashing the girl, and then a few days later, she's taking another dick, and a few days after that another one, and then the next week comes around and you're smashing again.

Even if it's just 1 other guy not 2 like in the above example - is it not weird to consistently, week after week, bang a girl who is seeing another dude on the days you're not around?

I find it really weird - but I also believe im correct in thinking this is normal for people in this arrangement

I’ve been dating this guy for about 8/9 months. 25f, 34m. We’re 9 years apart and I don’t notice the age difference. We get along like a house on fire, always laughing together. He tells me regularly ‘I laugh so much with you’, I know his friends, his family know about me but we haven’t been able to meet due to Covid. He used to call his parents every Sunday but since we’ve been dating, it’s become less and less. To me this is also a sign of being in a relationship with someone. We normally see each other a few times a week, sometimes less or more depending on our schedule. He invites me to all the 'big' things in his life, for example, we were going to go to his medical ball together (he would've been seen with me in front of other girls if there is anything nefarious). When we drive or hangout in different areas together, he likes to look up the prices of houses. He's also said in front of me how cute kids are and that he can't wait to do that one day. Signs to me he's testing my reaction and seeing if I want that as well.

A few months into dating, he asked to make sure that we’re not seeing other people. He isn’t into casual sex and I think exclusivity is important to him. A few months ago I was anxious about what we were - he hadn’t asked me to be his girlfriend and I thought this is something that he would’ve wanted to do. He’s traditional, wanting something serious such as marriage/family. We had a few talks about the direction of our relationship, he said there were a few things he was a bit concerned about, a few things we maybe didn’t have in common (he’s very risk-averse and overthinks everything). His concerns were things like ‘I like anime and you don’t’ ‘I like fiction books and you don’t’

He’s studying so after that conversation he said he would decide at the end of his exams, his exams have finished now. He went away recently with some of his University friends, he was unsure of whether to go (seemed like he wanted to be with me, haha) and wanted to see me before he left. I’ve felt good about everything between us post-exams as I had a feeling he was going to slowly contact me less and less and try and see me less - due to his uncertainty.

One night on the phone, I told him that I wasn’t quite sure whether continuing to have sex with him was a wise idea as we aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend. He was confused that I said it was casual. I said ‘well, we aren’t in a relationship’ and he said ‘you are my girlfriend’ I’m certain he went onto say ’I thought we’ve known this since we started dating’ so I then asked him ‘well if I was to meet a new friend of yours that I haven’t met, would you introduce me as your girlfriend? And he said yes. Unfortunately, he has to repeat his exams so I may not be able to see him for a while, I do need to clarify that he actually meant this.

I just wonder why he had this hesitancy a few times when we had the discussion a few months back though? There was even a point where I suggested we should end things because he wasn't so sure and he agreed. Maybe this is natural though and a reflection of his risk-averse attitude about things. There were just some uncertainties on his part. He said he could've been overthinking it. As a result, it sort of made me more anxious and I suggested we should end it.

We were the other day asking to see me and said it’ll be good to have a proper chat about things as we’ve both been putting things off, as so he said.

I got to his house, he said yes I have been his girlfriend all along and he doesn't know why I would think otherwise. He said that he feels its the best decision for us to end things due to our age gap and our differences, he claims we're very different people. I personally do not see this as I feel like we share the same values, we're compatible in a lot of areas etc. He told me that he finds me beautiful, loves my sense of humour and that we get along and have fun together. I did mention that we handle conflict differently but our only arguments have been over text/call and since that's such a poor form of communication - it's hard to tell.

He started to cry (this is the most emotion I've seen from him), saying he won't be able to cook me any more dinners and our memories shared together. He then went back and forth and said he doesn't know if he's making the right decision, that he will never find someone like me, I am out of his league etc. He said maybe he's just one big idiot after all and he's made a stupid decision. I was calm in my response and he said "why don't you get angry? this is making it more difficult" in a somewhat cute way. He just kept saying that lately everything has been solidified in his brain that it's the most responsible decision.

Now I feel like since we've been arguing quite a bit the past few weeks and he's been stressed, possibly his decision is skewed. I hadn't seen him in 2 or 3 weeks due to exams and I asked whether maybe we just got cold feet because of us not seeing each other. I remember months ago he said he sometimes questions us in absence.

We spent over 4 hours talking and it was like he didn't want me to leave nor did I. He then asked if we should go to dinner together. He finally walked me to my car and he couldn't stop crying.

Something in me decided to message him this morning:

Me - Morning 😊 I don’t know if messaging you is the best idea, but I hope you haven’t woken up too sad. If you ever want to catch up on neutral grounds, a coffee or lunch, don’t hesitate - I still consider you a friend. Even under these circumstances, it was nice to see you last night and I am saddened I won’t be able to have more of them with you. That’s all ❤️

Him - Morning! I was in two minds as to whether to message you with the same sentiment 😅 I feel very much the same. Like you say it’s always nice seeing you, and it’s hard for me to think we won’t be sharing more moments together. I really hope you’re feeling ok today ❤️ Enjoy the rest of your weekend 😊

Me - Aw, well if you’re keen to catch up in a week to come or a few months, let me know. I’m trying to not make this any harder for us but it is difficult. I didn’t react with anger because that’s genuinely not how I feel about us. I miss you, enjoy your morning eggs ❤️

Him - Will do ❤️ miss you too, at least you can have your eggs with olive oil today 😅

Do you think it feels like he still possibly wants to be together?

**TL;DR** 8 months into dating, he finally broke the news to me that we should end what we have based on our age gap and some differences.

Dated a girl for almost 2 years. Met when I was 30 and she was 27. She checks all the boxes & my friends liked her for me a lot. After about 8 months I figured we should start meeting the fam. She had never introduced a guy to her parents before (Shia Muslim who came here from Tanzania but they seem pretty Westernized). I'm white, divorced, with a kid. They were pretty concerned after hearing about my situation and she second guessed taking that step. I was in no rush so I said all good give it more time.

While I was never actively looking for anything serious, I saw enough in her that I was definitely thinking I'd be open to marriage + kids with her (which she wants under the right circumstances).
After another 8 months and a few more conversations about us, she was still hesitant to move forward due to the fact I had a kid and all the other obstacles that presented themselves w/ getting serious. I basically stopped communicating at that point and accepted we were likely over but then COVID hit and we stayed together another few months (prob out of convenience of having someone during that time).

We broke up in August because I just said there was no point staying together anymore as it wasn't moving forward (and not doing so in a reasonable time frame definitely made me feel less inclined to envision another marriage + kids in my future). I had a rebound fling that started pretty quickly after this ended. I'd definitely hit my stride with women confidence-wise a few years ago so this fling confirmed I still had "it" and could have a lot of fun if I stayed single. Of course my ex started contacting me about a month after we broke up wanting to talk again, to which I declined, but finally gave in after about 2.5months (I ended it with the rebound once I agreed to talk to my ex again).

We've hungout and talked a few times since then and (predictably) she regrets not moving forward and now wants to try and get serious. I missed her and enjoy hanging out with her again but I'm definitely not where I was in terms of wanting to move forward and seeing marriage + kids in my future (& feel a bit rushed being she turns 30 next year). I also think having a fling right after we broke up didn't allow me to clear my head and do some thinking the way she did as I was just distracting myself by seeing someone else instead. Not sure if the best way to see if there's still a future there is to keep hanging out and see if those thoughts/feelings come back for me or if this is something that will be figured out better by breaking up and going NC to clear my head?

Any thoughts or stories to share from similar situations would be awesome.
Thanks.

Edition¹ -https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showt...hp?t=175993141

So I’m falling in love with this girl, but I’m not sure whether I can accept her sexual history and I’d rather stop before getting more involved if it is indeed something to worry about. Of course this will be highly personal, some don’t care if she’s a pornstar and others want a virgin, so just let me know what you miscers think.

She is 25 and has:
- Had penetrative sex with 2 people.
- Oral sex with 8 people, including a 32 year old when she was 23 (she wanted something casual with the 32 year old, and he didn’t, so it ended then).
- The last guy she had sex with was a FWB.


... and as a side note, she has guy friends and even some she is fairly close with (however, they never hang out 1 on 1).

I’m not worried about her cheating, but I do not want to treat a woman as my girlfriend and therefore potential wife/mother of my children, if her past is considered to be whore-ish or slutty... But i also think I might be judging her unfairly hard, so I need more peoples perspective.
How would you feel about a girl with the above mentioned past?

I honestly feel at a lost point in my life. I am 23, and I have always been a relationship kind of person. I can not do one night stands or just randomly fuark someone and say bye, or even a FWB, because I will have caught feelings before we even had sex. I am using Tinder, and whenever I have a date and everything goes well, even when we keep talking after the date through text, even as far as they a lot of the time initiate the texts after our date, they still end up going on dates with other guys and it just hurts so much.

I have never talked to more than one person at a time, and it may sound stupid, but even something as casual as a first date, whether it be lunch or anything, if afterwards we choose a time for a second date, and then thats set, then I will text them a day after or so, just casually asking what they are doing, and they are telling me they are meeting up with someone else.

I feel like I am stuck in a situation where I catch feelings from just one night stands, fwb, first dates, so there is basically no way around it. I realize that it would sound ****ing stupid to even mention the fact "You don't see other people right?" after the first date, since again, it's a first date, but fuark.

I don't have high standards at all when it comes to women, but I feel like I will never encounter a woman who isn't dating plenty of people at the same time, due to the amount of attention they receive nowadays with Tinder and so on.

I recently started lifting also, so maybe that will be able to take my mind of things. I guess this thread is not really a question or an ask for help, more so of a rant.

not the other way around, wish I could have fit more in the title, but hopefully you get my point.

This is how I see it, it is only us guys, men, who need to be the ones to learn how to get a date, how to get a girlfriend, a girl doesn't need to learn how to get a date or get a boyfriend, because simply put, how does a girl need to learn how to get a date or get a boyfriend when she doesn't have to initiate anything, she doesn't have to do the approaching and asking out, planning and setting up dates, leading the interaction, escalating or progressing things, going in for the first kiss, escalate to sex, etc. it simply "just happens" for them? That's sure what it looks like.

Because typically the way you learn in life is by "doing", "applying", you won't get better at playing a piano, or a certain sport, martial art, if you don't practice regularly, and since all girls have to do is pretty much just dress up and look good, and just stand there, just be passive, they don't really have to take any social actions on their part, because they don't have to be the ones to start conversations, ask for the number, ask out, and all the rest you know, etc. So it makes you wonder what they have to learn.

Gold Jacket Luke, who posts here a lot, he even said this quote when discussing his favorite book the Alabaster Girl: "Also girls have it easier when it comes to learning how to talk to and interact with the opposite sex because guys approach girls. It's the masculine role to initiate. So girls learn very young the basics even if they do nothing."

I already understand and realize that life, reality, society was never meant to be fair, sometimes it is hard to accept and deal with, but i'm also posting this because I find it interesting and curious to see how it works when you look at it from the other perspective, from the other persons shoes. Because it truly seems like it is primarily guys who have to learn, I don't see how girls have to learn since they are passive and don't have to take any social action on their part.

When I first signed up to CMB, I was getting matches daily for ~ a week, now they're very rare even though I'm active.
When I first signed up to Bumble, I was getting a ton of matches within the first day, now they're already very rare.

So what is it:
a. I've exhausted my dating pool or the active users.
b. Their algorithms have pushed me back down the queue (initial engagement).
c. I've gotten worse looking with the same pics.

So I had an amazing relationship with a girl, and for three years it was perfect. The honeymoon phase went on for years. She was completely dedicated to me. The only problem was that she wanted to get married and have kids, and I didn't. I mentioned my feelings a few times, but we usually didn't talk about it and just enjoyed each other's company. We never fought and almost never argued.

Things started to sour in the fourth year, and she became more and more distant. Yet she rarely talked about her feelings. I couldn't seem to fix things. Then, after she graduated from college, she decided to study abroad for a year and get her Masters. I was very surprised by her decision. Due to the circumstances, we decided to go on a break, create a little space, casually date other people, and then get back together when she returned. You can see where this is going. Well, instead she met some Russian cuck that worshiped the ground she walked on. He was ready to marry her on day one. In fact, he was already divorced and had 2 kids back in Russia. She casually dated him for a year, delaying her return to the US because she had a teaching job there and she was busy applying to grad schools for her PhD. She always insisted that her relationship with this guy wasn't serious, and she was still affectionate to me.

To make a long story short, she finally came home for Christmas after 1.5 years of being my lovey-dovey best friend. But then, out of the blue, she refused to talk to me or see me. Finally allowed me one phone call and said it was over, she was marrying the Russian guy, and we were done. She insisted the decision was final, and she couldn't talk to me anymore. Completely blindsided me. Afterwards, I told her I needed to talk about things more, but she ignored all my calls and messages.

So I ended up losing the love of my life. Once the initial shock settled and the crippling realization set in, I freaked out and tried to propose. I told her she meant everything to me, that we could get married and work out all our problems. And I meant it. But that only seemed to make her angrier and she has blocked me on all social media since.

In the end, I am absolutely devastated, and losing her made me realize how much I truly did love her. It is the biggest kick in the balls one can imagine. I am completely filled with regret. I feel like I let "The One" get away. Yet I didn't actually want to marry and have kids. I was willing to make the sacrifice in the end, but I still felt unsure about signing my life away to fatherhood. On the other hand, given the choice of losing her forever or compromising, I was more than willing to compromise. But sadly, it was too little, too late.

So Misc, did I dun goof, or did I dodge a bullet in the end?

CLIFFS

-Dated girlfriend for 4 years
-She wanted to marry and have kids, I didn't
-She went to study abroad for one year
-We went on break but planned to get back together
-She met somebody else, casually dated, said it wouldn't last
-She came home for Xmas, I expected to see her
-Without warning, she tore my heart out and set it on fire

Can't post pics, please don't neg a bro when he's down. Thanks bruhs

Guys, what's the IDEAL HEIGHT if you could choose your girl to have?

Fml

So ex and I had a bad breakup
Have a small circle of friends and professional circle
Didn’t speak to me for over a year
Started being friendly after a year at Events
Unblocked me on social media and requested me
Didn’t answer me when I messaged her or invited her to my party
She’s had a bf for almost a year
Anyway started chatting and was talking about work and life. She started telling me something about her new bf. She said the words “my bf” and my heart broke on the inside
Played it cool and ignored that comment
Later she started talking to me and I told her that I never know if I should say hi or not
She says oh no we’re past all that
She left pretty soon after that
Feels weird man

I have probably spent 9 or 10 hours in this woman's office now talking to her once a week. She is 29 years old. When I first met her, her attire was modest and professional. Over time I noticed each week we had a new hour meeting, she would wear less and less clothes. She started to do things like bend over situating her body in a way where I could see intimate parts while she was "looking for a file" in the file cabinet. I think she was doing this on purpose but then I blamed myself for being a creep, she could risk her job and she would know better. Our relationship is supposed to be professional. I started getting texts that said "Heyy" with 3 'y' letters at 9:30 p.m. on a Saturday night from her. She said she is just checking in on me. This woman is a psychologist I've been seeing for what started as substance abuse type meeting just to have someone accountable to while I was quitting alcohol. It turned into some hot girl seducing me I swear, she starts psychoanalyst sheit on me like asking about prior girlfriends etc and why I don't have confidence. She then says a bunch of stuff to boost my ego saying I am handsome, intelligent, strong etc,. Is this considered flattery and an attempt to seduce me? She then later says I need more reference experiences to support the belief that I am good enough and that beliefs are like a table top and they can't stand without reference experiences. She asks if she can trust me and I told her yeah she can. She asked if it was okay for her to help me. And I said yes. She looked out the blinds while basically bending over in my face and says that I'm her last appointment and offers me to stay for a drink and I did. I'm so confused right now. She says she can't see me technically as a client anymore but that she can still help me.

I constantly see this obsession over Chad this CHAD THAT. What is going on? You don't need to be this to 1. Have sex with women. 2. Keep a woman. 3. Get 7.5+/10 Women as well. In the miscs eyes Chad is a God, Yet many of you forget most of these women are a bunch of Goofy ass B***ches. You can literally be a "chad" without looks. In my eyes and dealing with women if you're dominant and socially acute and show you have a life while being an entertaining person.. you can get any girl you want. Not saying I see a bunch of gorgeous women with regular looking men but, it's definitely possible to get above average women with the qualities I just named. If you can make a girl laugh I'd say you're halfway through the door. Comfortability is important. Stop this chad worshipping bullcrap I ain't been here for a long time but in my few months of actually posting, the misc blames"him" for all failures its simply Pathetic. Focus on yourself and be great. In any situation if you aren't THE MAN to whatever woman you're talking to she is always in jeopardy of not sticking around.



Cliffs:
- Looks don't mean everything
- Being fun to be around opens legs as well
- Stop sucking the "chad" penis

Checked my IG. Should've blocked her. Ex is on vacation, she started following some dude from there (saw it on my feed).

God damn it, hit me like a ton of bricks, now I have to distract myself to stop thinking about her having fun with him.

I'm still struggling on random days with the breakup tbh. It's been almost 3 months. Not sure if that's normal.

I'm getting ~1 match per day on dating apps. I've only messaged 2 of them so far.
- 1 date, I didn't want a second.
- 1 stopped responding to me randomly (no idea why).

How does this fit into modern dating theory, that claims it's a pure numbers game and you have to date dozens and dozens of people to hopefully find someone you can ultimately marry?

They were both from the same very small town, and there wasn't this large number of options to chose from.

I have my own opinions but willing to hear others:
- Since they were from the same small community and culture, there weren't big mismatches in world-views (conservatism vs. liberalism etc.).
- Back in their time, traditional gender roles weren't even really questioned - the man was the breadwinner and did typical masculine work and roles, and the woman was the housewife.
- The lack of options didn't make them feel like they were 'settling'.
- There wasn't a presence of modern feminism, or media talking about 'expectations' and how he/she should tick all these boxes.
- They weren't spoiled at all, had always lived on budget, and she isn't materialistic at all.
- Families tended to be more stable (very Christian culture) and therefore likely a lower incidence of psychologically damaged unstable women.

It's kind of weird to think how my mother is so content, stable and happy while she did all the things modern feminists claim is making women unhappy. She now has a bunch of grandchildren too (not from me though)

I spent last night drafting up a letter to the admission's office of a college I got accepted into, requesting a deferral of acceptance for a year. I don't want to boast, but just putting things in perspective - This institution is ranked #1 in the country for its MBA program and is very hard to get into (Avg GMAT 710). People dream of getting in, but I'm seriously considering throwing away my acceptance offer.

I know its beta, but its because of a girl. One I met off of Tinder no less.

I matched with her 3 weeks ago. I wanted some fun before I left. My bio reads 'Kindle and chill?' so this girl probably knew what was up from the start. Right off the bat she's down to meet, tells me that she can lift my mood since I'm having a bad day. Problem is that I'm packing up at my job and moving to another city for my MBA for a year so I was busy and couldn't.

I forget about her for a week and later decided to text her with the classic, "Are you an American High School? Cause I want to shoot some kids inside of you."

Surprisingly she reciprocates, and asks, "Are you going to woo me before you screw me?"

So she's down. I make sure I got protection and head out to meet her. Thing is I fall in love with her on the first date. She is shy as fuk, and halfway through, I wonder if I'd misread her completely. I mean she can't even get herself to say sex, and instead blushes, looks down and calls it, 'you know... doing it." We spend 5 hours together and it feels like the blink of an eye. We walk by a nearby lake, smoke a joint and when its time to leave, I kiss her on the cheek. (no homo)

I wonder if maybe I'd been a pussy for not going in, but she wants to meet again, and a day later, we meet for a Bon Jovi/Bryan adams cover band.

5 hours. 1 hour simple talking. 1 hour dancing to the band.2 hours spent in a private lounge we snuck into, where we can still hear the music, but sit together, and hold hands and blush like a couple of high school teenagers.

She says I'm different, that she thought I was an ******* over text who only wanted sex. She calls me handsome, she notices the veins on my arms through my dress shirt and traces them with her finger (Always buy one size small). Says I'm 'well framed' (All that liftan paying off). Says she's never been past a second date, but surely will with me.

Then the topic of me leaving for a year comes up. She seems disappointed. I tell her a war has been fought and won in 6 days and yet she seems apprehensive.

After 2 hours of sitting there, staring at each other's eyes, I finally walk her home, and for the next half an hour we make out behind her house.

I really thought this was it, who would have known, that I'd find a diamond in the rough of fukin Tinder. But as I'm driving home, probably 5 mins after leaving her I get this text:

'There were definitely fireworks tonight. But I don't want it to build anymore. I'd like to pick up when you come back. If you'd still want to of course.'

Literally 5 mins after she was all over me. WTF?

I ask her to meet the next day, and she says she can't because she's meeting college friends. Then she hits me with,'You know this is only going to make it harder when you leave which is inevitable and soon'

I ask if I'm going to see her before I leave?

She says,'I don't need to meet you again to know that I like you, but you going away, and us texting now and then is definitely going to kill whatever we have now. I'd rather have last night and pick up where we left off when you come back.'

Now I think I know my way around girls and smell bull****. So I ask het point blank if she's cutting me off.

She sends me this,'I think you're incredible darling (kissy emoji). If you're not around I'll come find you. This is not me cutting you off'

And that's it so far.

Ive been sitting by the phone waiting for it to buzz, yet everytime it does its one of my ******* friends. I literally do not understand what is going on. She says she's been 'hurt' in the past and she's afraid of goodbyes. Fine, I get that, but if she's into me, then why the hell won't she meet me as many times as she can before I go? Ten days? Ten dates!

I got nothing but positives vibes on both of our dates, and the second one really, really made me felt that this was it. I've become completely unproductive since and cannot bring myself to even get out of bed. I know its beta, but this was something straight out of a movie and I cannot imagine letting her go like this.

She wants to wait for a year. She even said she will try to come and see me. Okay, fair enough, but what is really bothering me is the fact that she won't meet before I leave.

Could someone explain to me what she might be feeling? Do I still have a chance? I mean, is she being genuine in what she says? And why is she trying to distance herself before I leave, while at the same time promising, to pick it off when I get back?

The MBA program here is very rigorous and I doubt Ill have the time to fly and meet at all. Is it possible that things might work out or am I hoping for too much? I know its stupid but I'd be willing to forgo everything for her.

Would reallllly appreciate a female miscer's perspective on this too.

Cliffs:
- OP gets into top uni for MBA (no brag)
- OP is leaving for uni in ten days and meets tinder girl who he thinks is DTF
- OP discovers that he misread her. OP is a ******* and falls in love with her on first date
- Second date is out of a movie - 5 hours of talking, dancing, holding hands and spending it in silence while looking into each other's eyes
- Ends second date with a half hour makeout session
- 5 mins later, OP gets text from girl, saying she thinks they should wait till he gets back (one year) before taking it further
- OP is confused cause he still has ten days. Why won't she meet?
- Grill assures OP she likes him, and even if he isn't around, that she'll come find him after a year
- She says she's bad at goodbyes, and doesn't want it to build before OP leaves.
- OP considers rejecting offer letter
- OP is a beta *******
- OP wants to know wtf is going on?

Can I keep the faith for one year or am I being dumb and should I book a ticket to North Carolina?

Title. She came over my house tonight and we fukked. After that she just switch up and lashed out randomly; over the situation and our future. She said that I'm going to be a chitty father and that she doesn't want me to be there at the hospital when the baby is born. Like wtf? She also complained about how all I want is sex, and asked me if I really care about / love her. She doesn't think I really care about her and just with her for sex and also thinks that I'm trying to run away from the situation.


- Its like everytime we get into an arguments for dumb reasons. And she lashes out and flip chit on me randomly. Feels like sometimes she just does things to be hurtful and stir me up. And at times after we argue she would be distant for a few days and come back and apologize and use this pregnancy as an excuse to the way she acted. I was aware that pregnancy makes you hormonal and emotional but I didn't know it was this bad. I hate arguments.

(Snapchat; she's wearing a bra)

Alright I'm gonna make this sort. I've been dating a doctor that's a little older than me. First week and a half I met her we had sparks, lot of chemistry. We got sexual after a few dates and she told me she thought about it.

After that she got sick, then work got in the way. There's been a few times I would just hang out at her place and we'd just chill instead of doing anything.

Last time we went out on Tuesday she seemed closed off. She mentioned allergies as well as having to wake up early to do five surgeries the next day. We kissed some but something was off.

She went on vacation out of the country Thurs for vacation. Something odd she did:


- I joked over text to check out my IG, she does and adds me
- She does when she's out the country
- About an hour or two later I add her back
- Next day she accepts
- I find out she unfollows me


LOL what kind of game is that?! I haven't heard from her since being on vacation though. I'd think that she'd message me or something but I felt it would do no good to try and discuss 'us' during her vacation time.

It could have been innocuous or deliberate. Only thing she really posts on hers is friends/family stuff. Pretty tame.

So her behavior the past week of going from Monday where we were cuddling and she was telling me how good I look to Tuesday being off and Wed/Thurs still initiating texts with me (but a little shorter) to nothing is off. I've actually been trying to just date ONE girl and not multi-date at the moment, but rather invest in one woman and see where it goes. Plus we've had sex a couple of times and usually that is an implicit soft exclusivity for many.

I've cut her some slack since she is a little older than me PLUS being a doctor is physically and emotionally draining. She performs cancer surgeries so I'm sure it takes a toll on her. Plus she has been usually responsive to texts and she has even called me on the phone several times which I'm not used to.

Think she's trying to play games or something is off? How should I proceed here fellas?

Anyone in the New York, New Jersey or CT area.

I will bake you scones and we can sit in the park and talk, about life, the misc, hopes and dreams and water slides. I won't tell you my last name and you can't take photos of me but I will meet you in a public place.

I am 100% serious, so if you are, PM me and we can chat. If you aren't pyscho, a white supremacist or a supreme gentleman, or an extreme Trump Stan I am open to meeting up.

If you don't want to or just want to riff on how ugly I am, I'm sure you'll let me know that too.

Inb4 I regret attempting to be social and expand my horizons by posting this.

And no, this is not an offer to smash.

Unfortunately, fellow men, right now we are suffering due to the actions of our ancestors. We should be able to admit that in the past, in many situations women were oppressed and mistreated. It seems as though the men of days past knew that this day would inevitably come. They restricted women from driving, voting, wearing tight fit clothing, having careers outside the house, and more.

Now, women are on top. They pick what man they want. They have all the followers on Instagram. They make money and become independent just by being pretty. They graduate college at a higher rate than men. An attractive woman is worth more than any man and now they are able to cash in on that sweepstake without limitation because any man, no matter what, is reduced to nothing if he doesn't have an attractive woman to reproduce and have sex with. By them realizing this power, and them withholding sex and being picky, men are in a critical situation.

Fast forward to 2018. Porn is rampant. Do a google search and find your wildest fantasy. So now, not only are women picky, you don't even have the sex drive to approach them because you masturbate and ejaculate to porn all the time. Essentially, dating interactions are becoming very weird. Women are the new men. They have the sexual power, they are self-sufficient, etc. Men of days past thought they could get by on their Y chromosomes forever, and stopped placing importance on the things that made us strong, such as discipline, training, hunting, and leadership. Nowadays women are the ones exhibiting these behaviors (although in a different manner, such as discipline in maximizing their attractiveness) while we have become gluttons and thereby shot ourselves in the foot because as human beings, our success is measured by maximizing our potential. Men nowadays are falling short of their potential and women aren't.

How can we solve this:
Stop indulging in instant gratification activities, work on discipline, great diet, exercise, acquiring knowledge, always telling the truth, and improving social skills. Essentially, work together as men to build each other up instead of compete with each other and destroy each other.

I went to some concert with a girl that i have a crush on that i’ve known for a year im thinking we finally get to hang out, and my head is full of wonderful moments and i imagine life together (not srs)

We get there, the venue is 3/4 full we have bad seats, she goes to the restroom before the concert starts comes back and says “im gonna sit over there for a while to take videos until the people who bought those seats come” never asked me if i wanted to come

Well 30 minutes pass and she doesnt come back then i notice she is hanging out with her friends while im over here like a dumbass all alone, well the owners of the seats come and she heads towards me, im thinking in relief “shes finally back, maybe she just got caught up with her friends”

Nope, she walks up to me and says “can you pass me my drink” like a cuck i give it to her, she does not say a single word, proceeds to sit somewhere else far away in the front where a single seat is empty.

You’d think we argued for her to do this but nope, she just gave no fuqs and did it because she could



The remaining three hours of the concert not once did she check on me or say anything while i sit there like a jackass all alone and everyone is dancing with their friends/couple

Lesson learned, i feel like i learned something, not sure what but i will definetly come back different

I had severe oneitis with this girl, felt that she was the best thing ever but this ****ing did it, going full no contact and all the dumb feelingsi had for her are gone

Me and my gf have been together since February.

She is Latin and loves to go out dancing with her gfs once every 5 weeks. Other times I go with her.

It was her birthday last week and I took her out to a nice resturaunt and get her a nice gift.

She mentioned she wants to go for a girls only night for her birthday and get a hotel with them.

She went out but never contacted me after she was done like she said she did.

Here is our text convo the next day after she called me in the morning and applogized.

Me:Hey, I want you to have fun with your friends but I don’t feel good about you not checking in with me last night. I don’t think it’s right and it makes me feel disrespected. Especially if you are gonna go out drinking and dancing and get a hotel.

Her: I’m sorry I was tired and fell asleep.

Me: I know you can say you’re sorry but this issue needs to be addressed with actions because we had this conversation before.

Her: I promise it won’t happen again love please don’t be mad

Me: I’m not mad it just really disappoints me when this happens because I trust what you tell me.

Her: But babe I was gonna call you

Me: I know but you didn’t.

Her: I’m sorry.
(I don’t reply)
Her: I love you

Me: I know that you keep telling me that but actions speak louder then words and I just want you to respect what I say because I’m putting a lot of effort into our relationship.

So she hasn’t replied yet cuz she sleeping and I work nights.

I just feel disrespected and I can’t accept it.

Am I over reacting or handling it good bros?

Just need to get it off my chest cuz my gut doesn’t feel right.

What do you bros think?